You know you are a unicyclist when.....

General
1

You know you are a unicyclist when…

*Any one of your unicycles is worth more than your car
*You choose an apartment/flat solely on the basis of how close the trails are
*You legs are tan only to mid-thigh
*Your arm tan stops sharply at the wrist
*You shins and calves are made up of scar tissue
*The first thing you ask when you regain consciousness is "How’s my unicyle?
*You actually move farther from work so that the unicycle commute will be more heavy duty
*Your work colleagues think of unicycles as a mainstream form of transport
*You mentally log every meal as “good fuel” or “bad fuel”
*You learn you have X money left after paying the bills and the first thing you do is log onto unicycle.com
*Your car, computer, microwave, dishwasher and toilet cistern are all “powered by Unicycle.com”
*You dream of winning the lottery, and the first thing you think of is how many/which unicycles can that money buy?
*You can tell your significant other with a straight face that it’s too hot to mow the lawn then take off on an epic MUni ride
*You buy a car based on whether your Coker will fit in the back
*You pull up on your steering wheel when driving up a hill
*Your car is parked in the driveway because your unicycles are parked in the garage
*You signal a turn and hit your wife
*You have an aircushion on the drivers seat
*You know the distance of every point of interest within 20miles of your house as well as the location of every pot-hole along the way
*You read this expecting it to be funny and then realise that it all applies to you

I found this in an old copy of a mountainbike club newsletter while packing up my house and thought it would be funny to plagiarise and modify it a bit :stuck_out_tongue:

Can you add any more?

2

Re: You know you are a unicyclist when…

In 1997, Peter Bier posted this (which after 6 years shows its age here and there):

You know you are addicted to unicycling when:

*All your pants have matching worn patches around the crutch area.
*Everywhere you go people stare at you and your mode of transport.
*You cease to notice that people stare at you.
*People who know you stare when you pass them without a unicycle.
*You have four wheels but don’t own a car or a bike.

*You view walking as a weird way of getting around
*Your maneuverability surpasses that of pedistrians.
*You stop to talk to a friend and don’t dismount even though the
conversation lasts 5 minutes.
*Jump mounts seem like a good idea.
*You view riding off picnic tables as being a challenge, instead of being
suicidal.

*Wheel walking becomes a viable way of getting around.
*Judder bars don’t slow you down.
*The fact that your arm is in a sling doesn’t stop you from riding.
*Your 180 jump spin falls spectacularly. You pull the socks up to cover
the blood and carry on riding pretending its not there.
*Your shins and calves have your pedal pattern engraved on them.

*Your unicycle doesn’t leave your side during the entire day.
*You forget how to walk.
*Your unicycle has a drink bottle mounted on it, and a bike pump, and a
bell, and lights, and…
*Currency is measured in terms of unicycles: things are worth one
unicycle, or two pedals or a seat.
*You start exhibiting withdrawal symptons when you break something and
have to wait for a part.

*You own a 20" for freestyle, a 24" for Muni, a 28" for commuting and a
26" to complete the set.
*You use posts to fling yourself into 360 uni spins instead rather than
using the to mount.
*Your cranks are bent within one week of getting a new unicycle (bunny
hopping is definately an in thing)
*Coasting begins to look like it is possible.

Hope you enjoyed that:-) Just a few things I’ve noticed about unicycle
nuts (mostly personal experience)

            o               Peter Bier - computing student                         
         o  O  o            [email]pjb10@waikato.ac.nz[/email]                                     
          o(|\o             (delete nospam- to send a message)

================
And in 2000 Neil Dunlop wrote:

You pass a stranger in the street and they point and shout “D’you know
you’ve got a wheel missing!”. You’re not riding a unicycle.

Klaas Bil

3

signal a turn and hit your wife? you must be from one of those backwards countries where the driver sits on the right side

4

For the record I don’t have a wife, and that should work whatever side car you sit in anyway.

Besides, that was plagiarised from a MTB newletter which probably came off some magazine from a country that uses old fashioned Imperial numeric systems (NB the 20miles) :smiley:

5

On a bike you can signal a right turn with your right hand. On a bicycle that is. On a motorcycle you generally signal with your left hand, while your right holds the throttle. I guess this is the same in the UK and other “wrong side” countries, though car signals would all be done with the right hand.

6

Re: You know you are a unicyclist when…

I don’t think I ever got to that point. Expensive unicycles only became available after I could afford “recent” cars.

All of these have been true for me at one point or another.

Every car I’ve bought since 1982 has had to fit my 45" big wheel. Yup, station wagons and minivans. Some people just don’t get it. But when it comes time to take a lot of people or a lot of “stuff” somewhere, my car is the one that gets used!

That was a great list, thanks for making it up!

7

The car I had when I got my big wheel:

unibug.jpg

8

John, while you can signal this way on a bike, I belive the appropriate and lawful signal in the US is the same as for motorcycle or car (or used to be anyway). Left hand straight out for left turn. Left hand out and up (90 degree bend at elbow) for right turn. Left hand out and 45 degree down for slow/stopping.

Signals with the left arm are more visable to other drivers on the road.

I believe one could be ticketed on a bike for not signaling but I doubt it happens very often. I have know riders to get tickets for other moving violations.

-Cubby
Made it over my first speed bump yesterday :slight_smile: on the forth try :frowning:

9

Re: You know you are a unicyclist when…

…you are waiting to cross a street, and you rock back and forth with your
arms sticking out, enjoying all of the attention that you are getting, until
you remember that you are on foot.

==============
Another Joe in MN
Level 2 and holding

10

The local playground had tire tracks on the slides, not shoe skids.

You can tell the difference between the sand in 2 seemingly identical sandboxes just by whether you can ride through them.

You buy shoes with a pair of your unicycle pedals and a tire, to see how the tread will hold up for gliding and how the shoes will grip the pedals.

Every concrete ledge in the neighbourhood has tire tracks on them and wearing paint from pedal grabs.

When you can watch universe and say that stuff is easy.

When your homepage is unicycle or unicyclist.com.

When you ride more miles per day then you walk.

I’ll have some more later. I’ve experienced most of these symptoms, with the exception of the universe one. I also have a recurrent problem with the last one.

11

how about

  • when your hands starting at the wrist are noticeably whiter then the rest of your arms.

this happens to me all the time :smiley:

DOH! already mentioned, sorry.

12

i’ll try to redeem myself here, how about

  • when you find yourself looking up in the dictionary every word that begins with the prefix “uni”
13

Re: You know you are a unicyclist when…

In article <Cubby.twyqf@timelimit.unicyclist.com>,
Cubby <Cubby.twyqf@timelimit.unicyclist.com> wrote:
)
)johnfoss wrote:
)> *On a bike you can signal a right turn with your right hand. *
)
)
)John, while you can signal this way on a bike, I belive the
)appropriate and lawful signal in the US is the same as for motorcycle or
)car (or used to be anyway). Left hand straight out for left turn. Left
)hand out and up (90 degree bend at elbow) for right turn. Left hand out
)and 45 degree down for slow/stopping.

California Vehicle Code:

  1. All required signals given by hand and arm shall be given
    from the left side of a vehicle in the following manner:
    (a) Left turn–hand and arm extended horizontally beyond the side
    of the vehicle.
    (b) Right turn–hand and arm extended upward beyond the side of
    the vehicle, except that a bicyclist may extend the right hand and
    arm horizontally to the right side of the bicycle.
    -Tom
14

that’s how it is in texas too, or at least that’s what i was told by a cop when i was in elementary school

15

Re: You know you are a unicyclist when…

“Tom Holub” <doosh@inl.org> wrote in message
news:8r7ab.4398$vn.20122@sea-read.news.verio.net…
> In article <Cubby.twyqf@timelimit.unicyclist.com>,
> Cubby <Cubby.twyqf@timelimit.unicyclist.com> wrote:
> )
> )johnfoss wrote:
> )> *On a bike you can signal a right turn with your right hand. *
> )
> )
> )John, while you can signal this way on a bike, I belive the
> )appropriate and lawful signal in the US is the same as for motorcycle or
> )car (or used to be anyway). Left hand straight out for left turn. Left
> )hand out and up (90 degree bend at elbow) for right turn. Left hand out
> )and 45 degree down for slow/stopping.
>
> California Vehicle Code:
>
> 22111. All required signals given by hand and arm shall be given
> from the left side of a vehicle in the following manner:
> (a) Left turn–hand and arm extended horizontally beyond the side
> of the vehicle.
> (b) Right turn–hand and arm extended upward beyond the side of
> the vehicle, except that a bicyclist may extend the right hand and
> arm horizontally to the right side of the bicycle.
> -Tom

Thanks Tom, I stand corrected. Since these are state laws I should have
known there’s be differences.
By the way KS and IL are as I stated above. MO on the other hand is not
specific and it’s almost as if an automobile driver could signal a right
turn by reaching over and signaling through the passenger window.

Now what was it we were talking about… Oh yeah, you know your are a
unicyclist when it doesn’t strike you odd seeing a tire with well defined
wear spots every 90 degrees.

-Cubby

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16

This is one of my favourite ones. You start walking somewhere and it feels like such a strange sensation, you don’t actually forget how (one foot in front of the other) but it does feel weird not riding sometimes. I found this thread to be amusing to read, thanks Ken, Klaas, Peter and other contributors. I have a lame one to add:

You know you are a unicyclist when…
Your name is listed in the Unicyclist Roster.

17

Sadly almost all of these apply to me - I even chose my current university based partially on local unicyclist density.

My house has a unicycle frame above the fire in the main room and the spare bedroom is full of wheels and spares

You know you’re a unicyclist when:

A unicycle becomes a household item.

(search forum for those funky unicycle lights)

18

…when you see the program “Extreme Machines” with trucks as large as buildings, and wonder:

“Hmmmm… I wonder how a unicycle with one of those tires would work…”

Like this one.

19

…whenever you do walk somewhere, you’re looking for good ledges and obstacles for trials.
…when you go hiking, instead of enjoying the scenery, you’re thinking, “could I ride this section?”

20

Oh yeah! And it would be pretty cool to ultimate wheel walk one of those things too :smiley: