You take the uni out of the car when you get home and find pondweed around the spokes and stuck to the rim. 
Found some new tracks today, including about a mile of streambed - with the stream still in residence.
⌠you canât walk properly at the end of the day.
It happenned to my a couple of times last summer:p
⌠you fill your house with the dirt you âcollectedâ during all your UPDs
âŚyour hip is still well-bruised two weeks after somehow landing sideways on your frame. 
Your legs are ârubberizedâ and start to cramp up with every revolution! Of course, this was only after 4 solid hours of technical riding, uphill and dh!
when you find it hard to drive home from your muni ride because your legs are cut and keep craping upâŚ
⌠your blood/sugar level is 2.9.
âŚYou have to use your friends to help you walk, no injuries, just no muscle leftâŚGood ole DownievilleâŚ
âŚwhen you end up in the emergency ward of your local hospital with torn ligaments in one of your ankles. You can see the crash in question at the end of this vid.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mx7cv26E-iA
mark
Ouch. Thatâs one of the daft things about this sport: a fairly typical UPD, just like thousands of others, but a few inches the wrong way and instead of walking away yourâe badly injured. So random.
Some good riding inthe video. That sort of thing always reminds me of my limitations.:o
When you get back to the car and have to remove your outer wear and turn it inside out to protect the car from the (stinking pond) mud. (UPD where I went right over the handrail of a footbridge.) :o
Yay! Iâd have paid to watch that.
And possibly that too!
When everything that night for dinner tastes like trail dust, sweat and blood.
When your baggy shorts stand up by themselves.
Paper will spontaneously combust when held anywhere near your crotch.
When the unicycle seat has to be surgically removed from your butt.
When the chamois butter has now become a hard slice of chamois cheese.
When you buy special toothpaste that will cut through the bug-tar better.
When you get stuck in the mud at the bottom your shower that formed when you just washed your hair.
When your leg cramps get their own cramps.
When you sleep in the driveway because you canât climb the five steps to your house.
When you seriously consider letting your 12 year old son (and riding partner) drive the car home from the trail-head.
you cut up your left leg and arm and side when you fall down a hill you bailed on and roll into a large group of thornbushles, you can no longer identify your pedals, tire and hub through all the mud, your hair is stuck flat to your head from sweat along with your shirt (and its 7 degress celcius out :P) there is no longer any clearence between your tire and crown due to mud, both of your thighs are red and chafed (sorry for spelling).
I feel almost embarrassed to add this simple real-life one of mine after reading Bondoâs list:
Afterward you cough whenever you take a deep breath
When you canât ride the next day! 
When you consider mountain bikeing instead.
Ha! I thought this too. One day I decided to take out my mountain bike and repeat a unicycle adventure just to find out that it was just as hard to climb up the trail. Even with a major granny gear (yes, I am a grandma). On the bike, I could go farther before resting, but it wasnât easier. The downhill was much faster (and scarier).
The other day I knew I was having a tough Muni ride when my iPod was playing a song that sang something about closing your eyes in death. I thought that death sounded pretty good at that moment.
When your riding sucked more than the ticks you picked up! 