…that caused damage to person or property – and maybe a few bills/reimbursements thrown in.
Here’s mine: The other day I narrowly avoided disaster when my kid’s unicycle almost hit a nice car while he UPDed. This thing was new…all tricked out…and would’ve cost me a fortune to have fixed, etc. 
raccoon assault
I was riding home in the dark on trail one summer night (KH36). I was using a light attached to the seat post - it was completely dark at the time. I had about 5 miles to go when a raccoon darted out in front of me. I hit it and flew forward landing on my shoulder. I have always been a little freaked out by raccoons so I jumped up immediately, but couldn’t see anything. I grabbed the unicycle and shined the light around. Fortunately it had run away, but I was waiting for it to attack after being hit. Fortunately, it had run away - I will never forget that night. Those things are nasty!
My worst was an attempt to see how fast I could go on my 24". I successfully made a running stop when I fell off the front only to have the seat handle slam into the back of my heel.
I’ve had a permanent bruise just above my heel for the last few weeks, from exactly this sort of UPD…over and over again 
My worse was colliding with a car! Actually it was the car that collided with me, he paid me for my damages though, so all good there 
First time I tried going as fast as possible on my 24" (IE. like two days after I had learnt to ride forward at all), my shoelaces tangled up and I ate the pavement. My foot was completely locked to the wheel, felt like I was at the limit of how far I can bend my ankle… Few more degrees and SNAP! 
Thankfully it didn’t, and I only walked off with a bruised ego after shouting my friend to come and untie me.
I’ve also ridden into someone on the pavement before on my 29er. She laughed it off thankfully, and (as far as I know) we never saw each other again, so I guess that’s good 
I was cycling my 36er downhill on a cycle path next to a busy road when the uni escaped from between my legs. I could only chase after it as it careered towards the road. 
To my relief it hit a roadside tree which stopped it just in time and I was able to grab hold of it. 
So it was a collision of sorts which could been a lot worse but for that tree. Did I hug the tree ? Nooo, of course not.
You didn’t hug the tree!? 
After it went and saved your uni from certain doom…I’d have been kissing the tree!
Actually I love trees, but not in a hugable way. 
The car or the uni? :p;)
download.jpg
NAH,
NOT me either!:D:D
You make a lovely couple …Bw, bwa, bwaaaa ha, ha, hah. :D:D
Back…
Back when I was learning I was known to run over a foot or two. They were standing in my driveway…and in my way. :o
The same thing happened to me when I was learning to ride backwards. Shoelace wound up and down I went. I could usually get my feet under me but there was no way that was happening this time. It’s the only time I can think of that my head hit pavement. Glad I was wearing a helmet.
A day or so after receiving my first 36 inch I wanted to see how fast it could go. At a little over 16 mph I had an upd. I was unable to run it out so I landed and rolled, coming up with some mild road rash and an appreciation for reflexes.
Shoelace wrap-up at about 15 mph on a Coker. By the time you realize it’s happening, there isn’t much you can do. So the strategy is to pedal as hard as you can, hoping the shoelace will break. Didn’t work.
Actually it did, but not until I had eaten it into the street, coming down hard on my shoulder and knee. Broken collar bone and nasty abrasions on the knee. My shoelace actually ripped out one or two of the eyelets on my shoes before breaking.
Ever since then, no unicycling with laces that aren’t double-knotted!
Hopefully I’m not necroposting too badly with this topic, but I just had the most epic UPD of my life a few minutes ago and had to share.
I was out riding my 36", just wrapping up an otherwise flawless 9 mile ride. I had been working on speed throughout the ride and was quite happy to top the 20mph mark in some sprints. Yay.
This is the part where you reread that last sentence and say, “that sounds like the setup to a major crash!”
Oh yes. As I’m rounding the final bend this group of high school girls is standing right in the way, and I say “excuse me, on your left,” as I always do. They turn around and just sort of glare, one moves over just a little bit. So I pass, and suddenly decide to try going fast again.
Nooope. Perfectly even pavement. Perfectly straight road. But I accelerate to 20mph and immediately fly off and BOUNCE off the pavement like a rubber ball. Of course, I’m wearing shorts, gloves, and a t-shirt. My unicycle careens into the street and I manage to stumble back to my feet and grab it before a car hits it.
So I’m standing there, dazed and sore all over and feeling blood dripping down in places I haven’t quite assessed yet, when a little old lady drives by and tries talking.
“I see you riding all the time! How do you even get on that thing?”
And I basically just stand there, totally dumbfounded, with the look of a stupefied zombie on my face.
“I just crashed. I need to go home.”
And then I rode home and grabbed the Solarcaine.
Sorry but that is kind of funny. She says that and all you want to say is OWW!!
BTW you left out the part about the reason why you crashed, the girls I assume you were trying to impress. If it’s like every other embarrassing crash I’ve ever had, they saw it all. Did they?
Back to the lady talking to you, after my crash (detailed a few posts up) a nice lady stopped a few minutes later because I think she could detect that something bad had happened. She offered to give me a ride home, but when I said yes and that I was going in the direction she was going, she suddenly realized, I guess, that she didn’t want a strange, bleeding man with a giant unicycle in the car with her. All of a sudden she had to go the opposite way. 
I think it was less trying to impress them and more trying to say “I’ll show you, you stuck up snobs, watch me take off at mach 1.” Which lead to me taking off directly into the pavement.
Even funnier, they didn’t really react. Didn’t ask if I was ok, didn’t even say a word to me. Just gave me a look that was about 50% mortification and 50% disdain. I bounced about two feet off the ground and all they could do was gape at me.
I’m honestly quite glad that my old lady didn’t offer to give me a ride, mainly because I was so dazed and embarrassed I don’t think I would have accepted it. And I hate to be rude. 
This lady was the total opposite - I had blood streaming down my right leg and she didn’t even seem to notice. She just wanted to strike up a conversation and all my brain was doing was saying “ow, pain, ow, blood, who are you?” That makes me feel bad because I try to be friendly on my unicycle.
On the way back the driver of some riced-out Honda Civic yelled “GET IT” at me, and I immediately yelled “getting it!” right back. That showed me I didn’t have brain damage, or at least nothing too severe… 
I don’t think attempting to look cool and serious by riding a unicycle is going to yield much fruit. Sorry. I say that as a fellow unicyclist 
Oh, and wear some knee pads
Never.