You know you’re a unicyclist when you refuse to ride a b!ke; claiming (and being right) that unicycles are better and more fun and so there is no reason for the b*ke. Ever.
Actually, there is a need for a b!ke if you have to transport cargo. That‘s why I used mine ~3 times last year. Agree 100% on the fun part, though.
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Though I’d like to agree with you, I do feel safer on a two-wheeler on busy narrow roads.
While driving in the car 36er street riders look for poles to hold on to in front of red traffic lights.
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…when you spend more time tinkering with your unicycles than actually riding them
…when you have tried over 30 combinations of wheel size and crank length the last year
…when you can completely disassemble and reassemble your unicycles but can barely change brakes on you bike
…when you wonder why a passing group of children aren’t pointing and waving and realize that you are riding your bike
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Doesn‘t that make you a tinkerer? …which isn‘t a bad thing either.
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…when @Wheelou doesn’t recognize you as a proper unicyclist anymore
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I‘m just preferring riding over changing cranks… 
Until you have tried them all on all kinds of conditions, you can’t know what is the perfect setup for your trip! 
What is the point of riding at all then😂
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…says the tinkerer. Meanwhile the unicyclist just goes and rides his uni.
Actually, they may lose some riding time because they have difficulties to decide which unicycle to ride.
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…obviously one with a Schlumpf hub.
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When you go on vacation without a unicycle,
spend the whole time thinking about unicycles,
come back and close your eyes so the very first thing you see is a unicycle,
go on a very long MUni ride on a 12", even though it is 1 in the morning and you have not slept in 3 days,
and then go to bed with your 36", dream about riding,
and then the second you wake up you go for an epic ride,
and then you teach people on the street to ride with free brand- new unicycles included,
and then get arrested because the vacation the night before was actually you just robbing a unicycle store.
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When you go to bed and tinker with your uni with the eyes closed instead of falling asleep (and even think about geting out of bed and in the garage and only stop doing so because it is late and you should be sleeping) 
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That was why I bought a unicycle in Thailand, where my wife is from. We nearly go there every other year for a month or so. That is too long to be without unicycle.
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So you don’t actually go?
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“nearly go there every other year” = sometimes there is a gap of 2 years where we don’t go to TH. Like in the Covid Period we couldn’t go to Thailand at all.
