Unicycle Accident Lawyer

I accidently came across this: http://usainjuryclaimscenter.com/Unicycle.php

You have Unicycle Accident Lawyer’s in the US?

This looks like a firm, where the head honcho is utterly desperate. Not enough clients and his bills are mounting. Now he starts yelling at his office managers, secretaries etc. demanding the words CAR and MOTORCYCLE to include any sort of transportation device thinkable. At this point he I so wound up and red-faced and given to his ever-rising temperament.
“I want to ALL cycles advertised, even unicycles” he screams.:slight_smile:

It is listed among the Vehicle Accidents which interestingly does not include Bicycles.

The so-called unicycle-manufacturers (and their fans) will “appreciate” this…

I would imagine that a “Unicycle Accident Lawyer” is riding a unicycle himself for credibility. Maybe even joining a unicyclist forum…

“$9.75 Million Unicycle Settlement: For injuries sustained in a turnpike car accident.” :thinking:

It is a well designed website. You can change it to whatever you want.

Get hurt traveling in space. No problem, he will make sure you get the money you deserve.

Hurt while unicycling on a whale. They have you covered.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I’m just a caveman. I fell on some ice and later got thawed out by some of your scientists. Your world frightens and confuses me! Sometimes the honking horns of your traffic make me want to get out of my BMW… and run off into the hills, or wherever… Sometimes when I get a message on my fax machine, I wonder: “Did little demons get inside and type it?” I don’t know! My primitive mind can’t grasp these concepts. But there is one thing I do know - when a man like my client slips and falls when riding a unicycle on a sidewalk in front of a public library, then he is entitled to no less than two million in compensatory damages, and two million in punitive damages.
Thank you.

It’s sad but yes. We have lawyers for just about everything you can/can’t think of.

There are those who do not see, or admit, that some activities come with inherent dangers and by participating in such an activities you are acknowledging this and the fact that you might get injured during the activity.

As they see it if injured, it is not their fault but rather the fault of the manufacturer of the equipment, the owner of the property that they were on at the time, the government for not protecting them against such dangers, etc.

Here where I live we have an area that was open to all for hiking and biking, and the owner even allowed for races to be held there. But that all ended when a race participant (who had never ridden in the area) showed up the morning of the race, did not pre-ride the course and crashed breaking his neck. He sued the race organizers, property owner, bike manufacture, helmet manufacturer, etc, etc.

In California, it is possible to sign a waiver releasing the race organizers and property owners of any and all responsibility and yet they can still be sued. Thank you lawyers.

He’s riding really, really fast, to keep up with your ambulance!

Probably one of the parties’ last name is “Unicycle”. Okay, probably an utter fantasy. Don’t you want to do business with these guys?

Don’t trust a caveman wearing a Wookie suit. He probably works for Geico and is trying to fool you somehow.

{Note for people not familiar with Geico Insurance: It’s a company that runs multiple advertising campaigns, apparently spending millions of dollars per day for advertising on TV and elsewhere. A few years back, one of their campaigns featured modern-day cavemen, who were being discriminated against by the phrase “So easy, a caveman can do it.”}

That web page is hilarious. I am tempted to contact them about a (made up) claim…

Maybe; if they would pick up the phone one of these days…

I can picture the scene in their “office” (probably a 1-bedroom apartment): Ring ring!
“Uh oh, it’s the unicycle extension again. Why don’t you answer it?”
“I don’t want to answer it.”
“Well I don’t want to answer it.”
“There’s almost no case law examples of unicycle-related anything. How would we make money?”
“We wouldn’t.”

Ring ring!

Hurt while unicycling on a whale. They have you covered.


I’m very pleased to learn about this, since ALL my injuries have been a result of unicycling on whales.

Not to sound like a doctor, but you should probably stop unicycling on whales.

Coincidentally I was trolling google for just s single case of third party injury ANYWHERE. I came across the page that this thread refers to, and eventually this thread.

Does anyone know any case of injury to a third party . At all. Anywhere. Anytime.

I did come across an incident that found it’s way to court courtesy of police in NZ. It was thrown out. A unicyclist knocked a womans handbag against her leg but no hint of any injury or pain. Jut someone making a bad decision in law enforcement.

So - anyone have anything on the danger of unicycles to third parties?

Are you sure that was New Zealand, Colin? I think you are just picking on us! :stuck_out_tongue:

“$9.75 Million Unicycle Settlement: For injuries sustained in a turnpike car accident.”
and that’s one unicyclist who will never ram a car on a turnpike again…
(I’m assuming a ‘turnpike’ is an expressway/motorway/autobahn)


Re OP: That’s just a generic personal injury lawyer referral service ad. I’m sure you could find the exact ad for any other mode of transportation plugged in for the word “unicycle.” If anyone ever does need an attorney for a unicycle-related incident, I recommend you interview attorneys to find a personal injury attorney who has experience with bicycle cases.

I am a unicyclist. I also happen to be an attorney. Thankfully, I don’t do personal injury stuff. I have to own up to having done it when I first started :o, but then I quit that job. :slight_smile:

I have an ongoing LexisNexis search that alerts me of any reported cases in the United States pertaining to unicycling. I just ran the full search: in the State and Federal cases available on Lexis (it doesn’t cover all of U.S. history, but it goes way back), there are a total of 38 reported deccisions. About a third of those are various decisions in a long and complicated case with some people that incorporated the “Unicycle Trading Company,” “Unicycle Corporation,” and “Unicycle Corporation Money Purchase Plan” (although nothing in the facts of the case has anything to do with unicycles). If something interesting ever comes up, I’ll post it on this forum.

Granted, these are pretty much just appellate cases, so it’s entirely possible there are numerous lawsuits out there having to do with unicycle accidents. And there might be insurance claims etc that never result in litigation. But the very few appellate cases does reflect that there probably aren’t a lot of unicycle-related disputes, which also probably reflects few unicycle accidents compared to other accidents.

Of course, there aren’t nearly as many unicylists as there are bicyclists or motorcyclists or car drivers. For example, I just tried to re-run my usual “unicycl!” search as “bicycl!”. Lexis cut me off because there were too many results (it stops the search when it hits 3,000 results).

So, does all of this tell us much about how dangerous or how likely you are to get into an accident/dispute/lawsuit on a unicycle vs something else? Nope. But I thought maybe anyone reading this thread might want to read this crap. :roll_eyes:

I personally have come very close to causing more than one “accident.” Mine have all been close calls with pedestrians. So far I’ve been riding in enough control that I’ve successfully dismounted and kept control of my uni (I’m not counting the time my uni ran over my son - I maintain that it was his fault for falling in front of me in that unlit tunnel). But all it would have taken would have been for me to miss the grab of my 36er handle and then the uni could have been plowing down a little kid or old lady.

Anyone who claims they’ve never caused any threat to anyone else on their uni either never rides among other people, has a heightened opinion of themselves, or are lying. But is this danger any higher or lower than for bicycles? I don’t know. I’m a lawyer, remember? Go see if you can find a statistician with enough data to give the answer (which is probably 42).