uni essay... eh?

i had to write it for an english class. if you notice any errors please notify me so that i can fix them.

My UNIque hobby

The idea of riding a unicycle is weird to most people. It seems that clowns are the only people who ride unicycles.  Clowns may have to learn to ride a unicycle as part of clown school, however, the majority of people that can ride a unicycle are not clowns at all.  In fact, the people who ride them are most commonly “normal” people.  There are also a few people who cannot be called clowns or “normal” riders.  These people are more extreme, more into it, and can easily entertain most people; I am one of these people. Unicycling is sport to me. I have fun doing it, not only because it is entertaining and physically enlightening, it is also very relaxing and stress relieving to me.  

Unicycling is a new experience for me each time I sit down and start pedaling. I always find new ways to ride it or new things to jump on, over, or even through.  It is a great feeling to find a new pathway across an object I have already used as an obstacle.  I visualize what I am going to do to get over the object, finding things to make my original path harder, or more visually pleasing for an onlooker. Then I go for it. I very rarely do what I had planned at first, however, that makes it more fun. I find even more ways to jump across things when I go a different route. It gives me more options and more ways to challenge myself.  I improve my skill by finding things that are just out of my reach and trying to jump on them.  I convince myself that I do have the ability to get on that object,  find a way to improve my chances, and make several attempts at getting on the object.  Unicycling is not only about having a new experience and improving, it has a lot of physical affects as well. 

Riding a unicycle is a fairly good physical workout. The type of riding that I do involves every major muscle group. It takes a large amount of force to launch myself into the air on my unicycle. It seems complicated to someone who is just learning, or someone who is looking on, however, it is actually quite simple. The basic motion is very similar to jumping off flat ground with the exception of taking the unicycle along for the ride at the very last second. The more force and better timing I  put into the jump the higher I can get. The jump is not the only physically challenging part of riding a unicycle. Riding for long periods of time is also very tiring. It causes the legs and back to become sore rather quickly compared to similar exercises.  Coordination is another big factor when it comes to Unicycling. It takes a huge amount of coordination to ride a unicycle on a rail, or jump onto one.  Unicycling is fairly physical, therefore, it has some menal affects as well. 

It takes almost no thought for me to get on a unicycle and ride it. Tricks are a whole different ball game. Easy tricks are somewhat thoughtless and easy for me to do, while I have to break down others into several steps to do them.  Pushing the limits of my jumps takes a fairly long thought process as well. I have to decide whether or not it is safe to do what I want to do, if it is a risk I am willing to take, if it is near possible to do what I want to, and how far and high I am going to jump to get on the object.  Unicycling also has a huge affect on my mood, and vice versa. If I am disappointed or really distracted by other thoughts, I can not do half of the tricks I could on a day where I am happy and excitable. Looking from the other perspective, if I am really mad, and need to relax, I can jump on my unicycle and go for a long relaxed ride to calm down.  

Unicycling has many effects on me, whether they are physical and obvious, or subconscious. I like it because it is a good “get away,” even in a crowded place. Some people think it is weird, yet I find it quite interesting and cool.  It is a big thing to me, however small it may seem to a bystander. Unicycling is my special thing however weird it may seem.

"The idea of riding a unicycle is weird to most people. It seems that clowns are the only people who ride unicycles. Clowns may have to learn to ride a unicycle as part of clown school, however the majority of people that can ride a unicycle are not clowns at all. In fact, the people who ride them are most commonly “normal” people. There are also a few people who cannot be called clowns or “normal” riders. These people are more extreme, more into it, and can easily entertain most people; I am one of these people. Unicycling is sport to me. I have fun doing it, not only because it is entertaining and physically enlightening, it is also very relaxing and stress relieving to me.

Unicycling is a new experience for me each time I sit down and start pedaling. I always find new ways to ride it or new things to jump on, over, or even through. It is a great feeling to find a new pathway across an object I have already used as an obstacle. I visualize what I am going to do to get over the object, finding things to make my original path harder, or more visually pleasing for an onlooker. Then I go for it. I very rarely do what I had planned at first, however, that makes it more fun. I find even more ways to jump across things when I go a different route. It gives me more options and more ways to challenge myself. I improve my skill by finding things that are just out of my reach and trying to jump on them. I convince myself that I do have the ability to get on that object, find a way to improve my chances, and make several attempts at getting on the object. Unicycling is not only about having a new experience and improving, it has a lot of physical effects as well.

Riding a unicycle is a fairly good physical workout. The type of riding that I do involves every major muscle group. It takes a large amount of force to launch myself into the air on my unicycle. It seems complicated to someone who is just learning, or someone who is looking on, however it is actually quite simple. The basic motion is very similar to jumping off flat ground with the exception of taking the unicycle along for the ride at the very last second. The more force and better timing I put into the jump the higher I can get. The jump is not the only physically challenging part of riding a unicycle. Riding for long periods of time is also very tiring. It causes the legs and back to become sore rather quickly compared to similar exercises. Coordination is another big factor when it comes to Unicycling. It takes a huge amount of coordination to ride a unicycle on a rail, or jump onto one. Unicycling is fairly physical, therefore, it has some mental affects as well.

It takes almost no thought for me to get on a unicycle and ride it. Tricks are a whole different ball game. Easy tricks are somewhat thoughtless and easy for me to do, while I have to break down others into several steps to do them. Pushing the limits of my jumps takes a fairly long thought process as well. I have to decide whether or not it is safe to do what I want to do, if it is a risk I am willing to take, if it is near possible to do what I want to, and how far and high I am going to jump to get on the object. Unicycling also has a huge effect on my mood, and vice versa. If I am disappointed or really distracted by other thoughts, I can not do half of the tricks I could on a day where I am happy and excitable. Looking from the other perspective, if I am really mad, and need to relax, I can jump on my unicycle and go for a long relaxed ride to calm down.

Unicycling has many effects on me, whether they are physical and obvious, or subconscious. I like it because it is a good “get away,” even in a crowded place. Some people think it is weird, yet I find it quite interesting and cool. It is a big thing to me, however small it may seem to a bystander. Unicycling is my special thing however weird it may seem."

Really good essay man. I enjoyed it and I think you explained a few elements of unicycling really well.

I put in bold a few errors I noticed at a glance (yesm I’m a perfectionist). I put “however” in bold because I don’t think it needs a comma after it. I don’t know how you do things in America (No offence intended at all) but that’s how I would punctuate those bits. And also I think “get away” should probably be “getaway” or “get-away” so it’s not interpreted as like somone yelling “GET AWAY!” or anything.

So yea, really good essay and I hope you get good marks :slight_smile:

I really enjoyed reading that, one suggestion shouldn’t an essay be longer

Maybe add a new second paragraph to explain unicycling in more basic terms. Talk about freestyle, MUni, trials, road riding, etc. Include the different types of unicycles. You started out with an introductory paragraph and by paragraph 2 you are already at advanced and technical levels. Most people think a unicycle is just something to ride and all of a sudden you are talking about jumping. That might lose some people. After some basic discussion then continue with your exisiting essay which goes into detail about your MUni?/trials? riding (not sure which or if both).

Skrobo got it right with his correct spelling and context of the word “effect”, except in this quoted excerpt: “it has some mental affects as well.” The word should also have been “Effects” as well. The word “effect” is generally used as a noun, and “affect” is used mostly as a verb. (No idea why you bolded the word “mental”. It was also spelled and used correctly.)

Whoops! Sorry I now see what you did was not “Highlight” (bold) the words to show the wrong spelling, but rather you actually changed and corrected his spelling. Sorry about that. You did forget to change the word “Affect” to “effect” after the word “Mental”.

If he wanted to add length, he should add to the paragraphs he already has. Adding another paragraph would make it a 6 paragraph essay, and 5 paragraph format is preferable for academic writing. You can’t go wrong with 5 paragraph form.

However, I do agree with the point that the whole jumping and tricks thing doesn’t really have a solid transition.

I would re-write this idea, its too complex for one sentence. The first sentence contains three separate ideas. Also, the phrase “more into it” is more of a slang-type thing, and should be re-written, omitted, or put in quotes. Also, saying only that they “can easily entertain most people” implies that clown and “normal” riders can’t, or not to the extent of said “extreme” riders. Since entertainment value from person to person cannot be easily quantified, I don’t think you can reasonably determine which form of riding is more entertaining in general. Instead, explain how these “extreme” riders entertain in way(s) thats normal and clown riders don’t, how their riding styles are slightly different.

In this, I would eliminate the word “cool,” as it, too, is more of a slang term. Also, the word “interesting” is pretty much meaningless. Use a different word that is more specific, such as unique, engaging, or any other specific adjective.

This implies that TO YOU (“It seems (to me) that clowns…”) it seems clowns are the only ones who ride unicycles. I suppose you could argue that since the last sentence ends with “…most people.,” it is referring to how things seem to them, but in either case it would be better to be specific and indicate to who “it seems.” Since it obviously does not seem to YOU (skrobo), that most uni riders are clowns, you may consider changing the beginning of the sentence to “To many, it seems…”

That’s all I’m seeing right now. Hope you get a good grade!

That’s what www.essaygenerator.com

That’s what www.essaygenerator.com has to say about it :stuck_out_tongue:

Haha I was getting a bit worried there. Yea I must have missed that one “affect”. No worries though MuniAddict :slight_smile:

Why reinforce the stereotype? Instead of reinforcing the “only clowns” idea into peoples’ heads, how about saying something like “Most people seem to think only clowns…”

Clown school? How many clowns go to school? Very few. The Ringling Bros. Clown College is well-publicized, but it only takes one class a year. And those students only learn to unicycle as an option (at least back when they wanted to hire me for $0 to teach down there).

The vast majority of clowns (like 98% or better) don’t ride unicycles and don’t plan to learn. That doesn’t change the stereotypes, but at the same time you don’t need to advertise them in your paper either. :slight_smile:

Seems legit

Most college English faculty think the 5-paragraph format absolutely hampers good writing. Why in the world would anyone think that every academic idea should fit into five paragraphs? It’s like saying there’s a single “best” forum post length. Whatever you’re trying to say is what determines how long your post (or your essay) should be.

I’m not picking on you, SqueakyOnion. I’m sure you’ve been told by many teachers that the 5 paragraph essay is the thing to do, and in some situations it’ll probably serve you well (if that’s what a particular teacher requires, or if you’re writing a response to a standardized test, etc.). But real writers don’t write 5-paragraph essays.

Mostly, I agree with you. 5PP form is kind of lame, unoriginal, and uncreative, but skrobo isn’t a “real writer,” and he is (to my knowledge) in high school (or at the most, early college). Additionally, the goal here is to get a good grade. a 5-paragraph format is the easiest way to do just that in said academic environment. For sure not the only way, but probably the easiest. I used to hate the 5-paragraph form because I thought it hampered my creativity or stupid notion, but now I realized in college that professors don’t really read the whole paper anyway, and that putting it in 5 paragraph format (or 8, if its a longer paper, 2 paragraphs for each main idea) makes it easy for them to skim and give me a good grade. Yeah, I know, education should be for its own sake, not for a grade. Bleh. This semester I’m taking a basic music history course for the THIRD TIME. Once in HS, once at my old university (credit didn’t transfer), and once this semester.

And just for the sake of being contrary, my English professor at my old univ. encouraged the use of 5PP format.

Sorry, I’m stupid defensive right now. Bad day and a strong nightcap.