The curtain rods in the living room came down as my daughter went to close the curtains Friday night.
As a consequence I’m getting a La-Z-Boy recliner.
Anyone care to guess the sequence of events?
she used the beautiful platform sized back of your chair to stand on so she could close the curtains.
the weight snapped the back of teh chair back, held on now only by upholstery.
well, that’s how my parents got theirs, anyways (not closing curtains, but using the chair back as leverage to fly across the room onto mattresses)
Your parents did that? 
Cool, man!
The curtain rod stabbed you in the jugular vein as you sat in your old chair reading an Ayn Rand novel. As soon as you could speak again, you said, “This old {cough} blood-soaked chair {gurgle} has got to go. Now call 911!”
This is every so slightly warmer than Brians’.
As you sat in your wooden rocker last night, with your shawl across your knees, your daughter felt the need to close the curtains. Not being tall enough to reach the curtains, she went to the garage and got your favorite fishing rod. Unfortunately, in her youthful exuberance she yanked too hard while closing the curtains with your favorite fishing rod, and snapped the fishing rod in two.
You yelled at her, “YOU OWE ME A NEW FISHING ROD!”
She yelled back, “YOU DON"T EVEN FISH!”
You replied, “YOU"RE RIGHT! BUY ME A LAZY BOY INSTEAD!”
And that is how you not only got a new Lazy Boy, but also suceeded in forever being off your rocker.
I suspect that, as the evening sun was glaring in and making it difficult for Raphael to see his favorite Teletubbies show from the comfort of his favorite old recliner, he asked Emma to close the curtains for the evening. Being the highly intelligent young woman that she is and the fact that she had lived in the house all of her young woman life and knew the proximity of the drawstring to the recliner, Emma suggested that the drapery drawstring was within easy reach over Dad’s shoulder. She continued that if he were to simply stretch out his arm over his head, he should be able to easily reach the drawstring and possibly could attempt to accomplish the curtain closing task himself. Then as politely as possible, she suggested that she be allowed to return immediately to her physics homework.
Pondering the predicament for a length of time, Dad concluded that his highly intelligent daughter was correct and that drawstrings were probably not that difficult to operate, then silently gave thanks that Emma took after her mother.
So as not to miss a moment of this episode’s developing Teletubbie drama, at the next commerical, Raphael stretched an arm behind his head reaching, searching for that elusive drawstring. Before one could say “Teletubbies”, the drawstring was in his grasp. Tightening his grip, Raphael prayed that the task would not last past the three minutes of commerical time, then gave a good yank on the string. Having ventured into unknown territory, Raphael was not immediately aware that closing curtains were not supposed to make a loud crashing sound but a split second later, he found himself being bombarded from overhead with hard objects.
Little did poor Raphael know that he had actually grasped the winding chain to the antique coocoo clock that hung on the wall overhead, the one had been in his wife’s family as a prized possession for generations. As the delicate clock came tumbling down, it snagged the curtain rod lines, pulled the rods free and the whole mess crashed down on top of Raphael’s head. Raphael was so surprised that he tipped over backwards in his favorite old recliner chair and landed upside down on the floor, bruised but not bleeding.
No sooner did Raphael find himself on the floor, Mrs. Raphael walked into the room. Taking only a moment’s time to assess the situation and realize that if her husband had taken the time to rise up out of the chair to safely operate the drapery drawstring instead of keeping his eyes glued to the television, her prized coocoo clock might be alive to this day. Instantly, Mrs. Raphael succombed to an attitude shift. Beset with rage, she picked poor Raphael up by the scruff of the neck and tossed him over to land in a heap on the couch. Then she turned her attention to the two remaining objects in the scenario, the television and the upended old recliner. Neither object fared well and soon the pieces were tossed out the back door into a pile on the lawn.
And now the conclusion…
Raphael’s sentence and punishment was to spend the next several months redecorating the living room to the liking of Mrs. Raphael. Upon three months time and the new living room spotlessly fresh, Mrs. Raphael relented and hesitantly permitted poor Raphael to shop for a new recliner. But to this day, the television mysteriously remains absent in Raphael’s living room.
Two items and only two in this account are even remotely true. Yes, Emma takes after her mother in intelligence. And yes, it very well may be 3 months before the La-Z-Boy is in our possession.
Nice try, though Bruce.
[Edit]: The laziness of reaching back to pull the curtains closed and its consequence while factually inaccurate do capture the spirit of this escapade, though. 
[Edit2]: Jethro’s, while also dead wrong, certainly captures the whole pun genre well.
Re: Curtain rods to La-Z-Boy
The curtain rods fell down, shattered the windows, and the glass fell on the furniture so you need to get some new stuff.
I use a La-Z-Boy as a computer chair, it makes watching pirated movies sooo much more comfy, as well as long periods of useless searching.
Okay, I’m going to take another “stab” at it…
(after reading the hint)
You recently hung the curtains but you committed an act of laziness in the process which caused curtain rod instability (I can’t begin to imagine what this might be).
Your daughter, proceeding to innocently and correctly close the curtains, fell victim to this “accident waiting to happen”.
The curtain rods came crashing down, knocking over a pitcher of Welch’s Grape Juice, spilling it all over your old chair.
Your wife, upon realizing what a “lazy boy” you were when you hung the curtain rods, decided that the only appropriate replacement for the grape-juice-soaked, forever grape-stained chair was a… La-Z-Boy.
And they all lived happily ever after.
The End.
Will we also have to wait three months for the solution to this riddle?
Or are you waiting on us to try harder?
The actual sequence of events will undoubtedly be a let down compared to the imaginative speculations of JC reader/posters. I figure I’ll let people take some more stabs for a while.
I will provide the hint that a remarkably bad DIY decision on my part had something to do with it.
Hey, I have the same setup. Lazy-boy as computer chair and tv across the room. All I need is to move the fridge closer and I never have to move. Except the bathroom of course.
Raphael, my guess is the heavy iron curtain rod hit you in the skull and blood sprayed all over the lazy-boy staining it forever. How was the Emergency Room?
Whatever happened, I hope no one was hurt.
Wrong. No blood was involved. But I like your avatar.
Except for the cow who volunteered its hide for the new La-Z-Boy. 
OMG!!!
I figured it out.
After the aforementioned DIY SNAFU that was mentioned, um… afore, the curtain rods came crashing down.
THEN you said, “Neato! I can balance one of these on my nose!” (like you did my Coker one fine day in NYC). “And juggle them,” you said, “right here in my living room.”
A curtain rod got away from you, knocking over a candle and setting fire to your old chair.
ALTERNATE ENDING:
Startled by the crashing down of the curtain rods, you dropped the cigar you were not supposed to be smoking (“wink, wink – I’ll buy you an ice cream cone if you don’t tell Mom, Emma…”). Before the cigar extinguished itself due to lack of sucking, it ignited your old chair.
Puhleeze, fabric only for this household.
Fer chisake people, what do you think the IT in diy stands for? The crashing curtains scared the crap out of him littarely. So they need a new chair.
Am I right or what?
I read the police report, this is what happened…
8:35 P.M. Mrs. Prudie, the elderly neighbor down the street gets into her car to drive to the pizza place to pick up dinner for the grandchildren. At 8:37 P.M. Raphael happened to be walking by the living room window in his boxer shorts. As Prudie got to the corner across the street from Raphael’s house there was this horrible flash coming through the front window of the Raphael household causing Prudie’s car’s accelerator to stick. The car came to a complete stop just inside the living room next to the table, the one with the lava lamp on it. Upon seeing the source of the horrible flash, Mrs. Prudie threw the car into reverse, screaming across the lawn, onto the street and down to the pizza place.
This next part, there is a little bit of confusion. The police showed up 3 minutes later. Happened to be picking up salads for the guys back at the station and hot dogs for the 2 prisoners. When they got there, the curtains were drawn where there used to be a window and Raphael, who was now in thong underwear was trying to find something to stuff into the hole left by the car. The only thing that would fit was the Lift Chair used by the children to propel Raphael out of the chair. They would do this when it was time for him to gather eggs from the chickens or milk the cows.
With out a chair to relax in, and seeing that it was getting near time to do his chores, Raphael dialed up 1-800-LAZY-BOY. The Lazy Boy promise is delivery within 50 minutes or your chair is free. Delivery was on time. Raphael hasn’t left the chair since. Mrs. Prudie’s grandchildren enjoyed the pizza and because of neglect, the chicken crossed the road and the cow jumped over the moon.