“Well Holmes” I said, standing and picking up my coat, “I think I should
call it a night, I have practice at the surgery tomorrow and I need to
get some sleep”. Holmes made no move to see me out, removed his pipe and
without looking up from his book offered, “If youd care to stay a little
longer, Watson, I believe you will find the time well spent”. My
confusion obviously showed on my face for Holmes continued with a small
smile pulling at the sides of his mouth, “do you hear anything
unusual?”. I strained my ears and for the first time heard a sound that
sent a shiver down my spine. A crunching of gravel from the road outside
as if a cart were driving past but coming in short regular pulses. The
sounds were occasionally replaced by a thud and some cursing before
continuing once more. The sounds stopped directly outside the door of
221b Baker street. “By God Holmes, what was it”, I whispered but
Sherlock silenced me with a glance and a nod towards the room of the
door. The fellow who was shown in by the house keeper was a tall wind
swept young man wearing only a T-shirt and shorts. For all his obvious
poverty he had a unique look about him, as if a usually well balanced
and fulfilled man had recently been stricken with grief. Once Mr Thomas
had introduced himself, been sat down and given a strong drink he began
to tell us of his troubles. “I was out walking last Tuesday, taking my
normal route when I saw two men on bikes arguing in a dark alleyway. One
performed a karate move on the other who fell onto his own bike. Once id
seen this I walked off as fast as I could. I didn’t want to get
involved.” I had read about this in last Wednesdays evening paper. A man
had been found hideously entangled in his own bicycle and, although
survived, had so far remained in a sever state of shock simply mumbling
to himself, “Hoagy Carmichael, Hoagy Carmaecheal”. “So why come to us Mr
Thomas” Holmes asked, “are the police not investigating?” “Yes, they
are”, came the reply, “but they aren’t making any progress and it all
happened so close to my home - I want the villain caught. You do
understand dont you Mr Holmes?” “Oh yes Mr Thomas I understand. Tell me,
how long have you been a clown?” said Holmes suddenly. Our guest went
red in the face and jumped to his feet. “I am NOT a clown” he shouted.
“I NEVER HAVE BEEN AND NEVER WILL BE”, and with that drew a hefty steel
crank from his sock . “Its alright Mr Thomas. You won’t be needing that”
said Holmes soothingly. He slowly advanced on the man and removed the
crank from his hand saying, “you may as well come clean Mr Thomas, I
know everything and the police are already on their way”. At this the
man broke down and slumped sobbing into his chair. “I’ll tell you what
really happened shall I” said Holmes “The walk you took on that evening
was really a ride on your ultimate wheel. I can see from the fading
bruises on your legs that you have not been riding long but that you
became proficient fairly quickly, say 6 months or so” , Mr Thomas nodded
unhappily from his chair. “As you were passing the ally a biker taunted
you and made some mention of the circus which for you as a long
suffering unicyclist,” (indicating the scars on Mr Thomas’ hands and
knees with his pipe) “was the last straw. You snapped. Understandable in
the circumstances.” “That explains the wobbly single track leading away
from the crime scene” I ventured. “Exactly Watson. And the victim wasn’t
saying the name of a Jazz musician but " Help me, Unicycle!” “I never
would have believed it Holmes!” “People just don’t understand how
dangerous the suppression of unicycling can be” said my learned friend
as he strapped a pair of knee guards on and pulled a shiny new Telford
from a cupboard, “can you give me a lift to the nearest trail?”
Re: Update on learning ultimate wheel
Bravo!
RE: Update on learning ultimate wheel
That was truly hilarious!
> “Well Holmes” I said, standing and picking up my coat, "I think I should call
> it a night,
Re: Update on learning ultimate wheel
elementary, my dear clifford…
jolly good read.
----- Original Message ----- From: “Clifford Elmore”
<CliffElmore@compuserve.com> To: “Maxfield D” <maxfieldd@aol.com>
Cc: “Unicycle Mailing list” <unicycling@winternet.com> Sent: Monday, 31 January
2000 5:56 Subject: Update on learning ultimate wheel
> “Well Holmes” I said, standing and picking up my coat, "I think I
> should call it a night, I have practice at the surgery tomorrow and I
> need to get some sleep". Holmes made no move to see me out, removed
> his pipe
and
> without looking up from his book offered, "If youd care to stay a little
> longer, Watson, I believe you will find the time well spent". My
confusion
> obviously showed on my face for Holmes continued with a small smile
pulling
> at the sides of his mouth, “do you hear anything unusual?”. I strained my ears
> and for the first time heard a sound that sent a shiver down my
spine.
> A crunching of gravel from the road outside as if a cart were driving past but
> coming in short regular pulses. The sounds were occasionally replaced by a
> thud and some cursing before continuing once more. The sounds stopped directly
> outside the door of 221b Baker street. “By God Holmes, what was it”, I
> whispered but Sherlock silenced me with a glance and a nod towards the room of
> the door. The fellow who was shown in by the house keeper was a tall wind
> swept young man wearing only
a
> T-shirt and shorts. For all his obvious poverty he had a unique look about
> him, as if a usually well balanced and fulfilled man had recently been
> stricken with grief. Once Mr Thomas had introduced himself, been sat down and
> given a strong drink he began to tell us of his troubles. "I was out walking
> last Tuesday, taking my normal route when I saw two men on bikes arguing in a
> dark alleyway. One performed a karate move on the other who fell onto his own
> bike. Once id seen this I walked off as fast as I could. I didn’t want to get
> involved." I had read about this in last Wednesdays evening paper. A man had
> been found hideously entangled in his own bicycle and, although survived, had
> so far remained in a sever state of shock simply mumbling to himself, "Hoagy
> Carmichael, Hoagy Carmaecheal". “So why come to us Mr Thomas” Holmes asked,
> “are the police not investigating?” “Yes, they are”, came the reply, "but they
> aren’t making any progress and it all happened so close to my home - I want
> the villain caught. You do understand dont you Mr Holmes?" "Oh yes Mr Thomas I
> understand. Tell me, how long have you been a clown?" said Holmes suddenly.
> Our guest went red in the face and jumped to his feet. “I am NOT a clown” he
> shouted. “I NEVER HAVE BEEN AND NEVER WILL BE”, and with that drew a hefty
> steel crank from his sock . “Its alright Mr Thomas. You won’t be needing that”
> said Holmes soothingly. He slowly advanced on the man and removed the crank
> from his hand saying, "you may as well come clean Mr Thomas, I know everything
> and the police are already on their way". At this the man broke down and
> slumped sobbing into his chair. “I’ll tell you what really happened shall I”
> said Holmes "The walk you took on that evening was really a ride on your
> ultimate wheel. I can see from the fading bruises on your legs that you have
> not been riding
long
> but that you became proficient fairly quickly, say 6 months or so" , Mr
> Thomas nodded unhappily from his chair. "As you were passing the ally a biker
> taunted you and made some mention of the circus which for you as a long
> suffering unicyclist," (indicating the scars on Mr Thomas’ hands and knees
> with his pipe) "was the last straw. You snapped. Understandable in the
> circumstances." "That explains the wobbly single track leading away from the
> crime scene" I ventured. "Exactly Watson. And the victim wasn’t saying the
> name of a Jazz musician but " Help me, Unicycle!" "I never would have
> believed it Holmes!" "People just don’t understand how dangerous the
> suppression of unicycling can be" said my learned friend as he strapped a
> pair of knee guards on and pulled a shiny new Telford from a cupboard, "can
> you give me a lift to the nearest trail?"
Re: update on learning ultimate wheel
It seems that meddling Holmes is becoming seriously addicted
Good news indeed…
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com