Marvel 'What If': Nokian made a Gazz Slick?

General
1

All,

In the fine tradition of Marvel Comics ‘What If’ series (“What If: Aunt May were Galactus?”), it turns out that we almost had a ‘what if’ in the realm of street tires.

I e-mailed Nokian and asked if they had ever considered making a nice fat 3.0 slick tire. I got an e-mail back from a Jorma Tikka (“Gazzaloddi designer” was his title) saying that a few years back he was considering doing the design of a Gazz 3.0 slick, but they decided there wouldn’t be enough of a market for it, so they never did it. He said it would have been awesome for street, cruising, and even “DH” (down hill?).

Ah, what could have been.

I didn’t originally mention that I was a unicyclist, maybe I should point out that there would probably be a decent market in that sector? I guess it couldn’t hurt.

Lewis

P.S. If Aunt May were galactus, don’t worry. She’d just have a huge attitude and a giant freakin’ vacuum cleaner.

2

I think not!

I’m afraid your speculation is just that, Mr. Animation; I have already secured assurance that I will receive the position of Galactus, Devourer of Worlds, when it shortly becomes available.

While I am not considering Herald applicants at this time, you may send your qualifications and a photo (unless your name is Mary Edwards) to danquayle@unicyclist.com.

Thumbing through one of my copies of the Oxford English Dictionary, I was unable to find any reference to a “Gazzaloddi”- nor does it appear in the Marvel Universe. What, pray tell, is it?

Your President,

Dan

3

I love you Dan Quayle!

Mary

4

What if the Silver Surfer took up unicycling? Could he ride faster than his enemy, Galactus?

The Fantastic Four certainly would suck at riding. The Thing is much too heavy, the Human Torch would melt the seat. Mr. Fantastic can only ride giraffes. And the invisible girl can’t be seen by oncoming traffic.

I think Magneto has my vote for the biggest threat to the Marvel unicyclist.

Time for me to get my cape and go riding!

Darrell :stuck_out_tongue:

5

Re: Marvel ‘What If’: Nokian made a Gazz Slick?

don’t know about all this marvel comics nonsense :slight_smile: but i reckon a 3"
slick would be fantastic for trialing man-made obstacles a la urban
jungle street furniture… are such tyres available? would they become
available if enough interest was shown? … is anyone else interested?

6

Re: Marvel ‘What If’: Nokian made a Gazz Slick?

I would definitely buy a couple. I love riding my Hunter with the 3"
Fireball.

Animation <Animation.4fv3n@timelimit.unicyclist.com> wrote in
news:Animation.4fv3n@timelimit.unicyclist.com:

>
> I e-mailed Nokian and asked if they had ever considered making a nice
> fat 3.0 slick tire. I got an e-mail back from a Jorma Tikka (“Gazzaloddi
> designer” was his title) saying that a few years back he was considering
> doing the design of a Gazz 3.0 slick, but they decided there wouldn’t be
> enough of a market for it, so they never did it. He said it would have
> been awesome for street, cruising, and even “DH” (down hill?).

7

RE: Marvel ‘What If’: Nokian made a Gazz Slick?

> I didn’t originally mention that I was a unicyclist,
> maybe I should point out that there would probably
> be a decent market in that sector? I guess it
> couldn’t hurt.

Nope, sure couldn’t hurt. Definitely let them know we’re out here. But
unfortunately we probably don’t yet qualify as a “market”. Our numbers are
still probably a small percentage of what Nokian would consider for a
production run. But the company should be aware that they make the product
of choice for us MUni people. Send our praise!

> Thumbing through one of my copies of the Oxford English Dictionary, I
> was unable to find any reference to a “Gazzaloddi”- nor does it appear
> in the Marvel Universe. What, pray tell, is it?

It’s something in the “real” universe. This is a unicycling forum:
hint-hint :slight_smile:

John Foss, the Uni-Cyclone
jfoss@unicycling.com

“If people want to truly understand mountain biking, they have to do two
other things: ride a unicycle, and master the trampoline.” – Joe Breeze,
one of the originators of mountain biking, in a conversation with Tim Bustos

8

Real-LY?

poof

Hi, John. I appreciate your tact- but this may be a bit too subtle for our friend Dan. Some folks polish off the first serving of Cold Shoulder and just respond with “More please!” When gentle suggestions don’t penetrate, try redirection.

Here, let me demonstrate:

Martha: Hey, Dan! Did you see that bus load of Cheer Leaders broken down out by the highway?

Dan: Cheer Leaders, Martha? Realy?

Martha: Real-LY, Dan. Real-LY.

Dan: Pardon me, Martha: as a World Leader, I have a sworn duty to aid my fellow Leaders.

Martha: See you later, Dan!

It’s as easy as that! Say, while we are on the subject: I think you would benefit from my recent show on how to avoid the pit falls of public social discord. Just point your browser to:

Spelling Police: The Martha Stewart ™ Way!

I’m glad we had this little chat John. I have been meaning to call on you for some time- I need a Expert for an upcoming show on the Wonders of Modern Lawn Maintenance, and read with great interest your ideas concerning the dissemination of sheep feces.

I hope that this is adequate consolation, as we are passing on your kind offer to replace me as The Devourer of Worlds. As you may have heard, Dan Quayle has already been selected to fill the position, when I leave office (everybody loves Dan Quayle). I will be sure to put in a good word for you as the new Herald of Internet Etiquette.

Remember- the tip for the day is Redirection: It’s the Martha Stewart ™ Way!

poof