'Cause That Suicide is Painless ... And I can take or leave it if I please

General
1

Took the kids to the sk8 park today. I wasn’t getting anywhere trying to duplicate yesterdays success going from crank grab to rubber when this mantra entered my head:

So I did several jump mounts, practiced balancing the uni, played with my stance, stalled as much as possible, held my breath, decided breathing was a better idea, let go of the seat, and jumped. If I could ride seat drag in front it would have been perfect but I can’t so I jumped off. The next one landed right on, rode off. Tried again, so far so good.

Noticed the bystanders watching, made some educational comment about the difference between jump mount and suicide. They made some comment about losing my masculinity. Tried again and landed it. Phew.

Tried again later. Same result: first seat fell then success following.

Who would have known all those years of listening to the MAS*H theme song would have been so apocryphal (With a wee bit of poetic license):

Through early morning fog I see
Visions of the things to be
The pains that are withheld for me
If I Suicide Mount the Uni

They say Suicide is Painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please

Try to find a way to make
All our little joys relate
Without that ever present wait
I must try before too late

Are you sure That Suicide is Painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please

The game of life is hard to play
So I’ve chosen the Uni way
The winning card I’ll someday lay
So this is all I have to say

I hope Suicide is Painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please

The Uni way does not cheat
And lay it down before I’m beat
I must now release the seat
For that’s the only painless feat

'Cause That Suicide is Painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please

The pedal pins will pierce our skins
It does hurt when it begins
But as it works it’s way on in
We then wear armour on our shin

But Suicide is Painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please

A brave man once requested me
To answer questions that are key
Is it to be or not to be
And I replied "Time to Uni. "

Cause Suicide is Painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please
And you can do the same thing if you please

I DIDN’T GET HURT ON AN ATTEMPED SUICIDE MOUNT

2

I thought that deserved at least one reply, even if I couldn’t think of anything to add!

Would so many people try it if it was called the ‘hands free jump mount’?

Well done, anyway.

:slight_smile:

3

Nice work, Steve. Mount and verse-wise!

Raphael Lasar
Matawan, NJ

4

Nicely done, I’m glad everything worked out like I knew it would!

Klaas? What about Klaas?

Klaas?

5

Re: 'Cause That Suicide is Painless … And I can take or leave it if I please

Ooohhh … competition. Excellent. Remember, yesterday “owns” success in that sentence. Don’t forget your apostrophe. And don’t forget your trials cycle next time we meet, DeKoekkoek.

6

Re: 'Cause That Suicide is Painless … And I can take or leave it if I please

On Mon, 2 Jun 2003 15:53:41 -0500, Sofa
<Sofa.oezan@timelimit.unicyclist.com> wrote:

>Klaas? What about Klaas?
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>Klaas?

Yes that was a long pause. I’ve been off my PC for 1.5 weeks, only
following rsu via the forum at work very patchily and I missed this.
But then… why me? What is the question?

Regardless, I’m too wimpy as yet to try the suicide mount even though
our family is complete. When you wrote…

> YOU AREN"T GOING TO GET HURT ON AN ATTEMPED SUICIDE MOUNT

…does that include half-hearted attempts?

Klaas Bil - Newsgroup Addict

Different drummer? I’m my own band!

7

Suicide Pic

I was uploading some pics from an August show and came across this.

Its painless.

8

On some uni website it talks about suicide mounts, and this is what it said:
The good news is, it’s a completely mental thing. The bad news is, it’s completely a mental thing.

The suicide mount can almost definitely not hurt you. It just seems like it will. But try it, and it works perfectly
Then again, I did it once and one foot missed the pedal, so the pedal with the foot on it went down and the pedal without the foot on it went up and slammed into my shin. But I guess you don’t want to hear about that. Still, it’s really easy.

9

I’d fully agree that this applies to the suicide mount, but the Marsh sisters say this on their website about the jump mount, not suicide mount. I only checked this because you said ‘some uni website’ so I was curious as to what website had such good info. Tammy and Tanya’s is excellent indeed.

Klaas Bil

10

Where’s the fun in that? Of course you can hurt yourself, as I did when learning it many years ago. Aside from being whacked in the shins if you miss both pedals, how about this:

Jump in the air, then “chicken out” and move feet out to the sides, but freeze up and forget to move seat out of the way with hands. If the unicycle is balanced really well, you get to do what I guess is an ‘unintentional stillstand.’

The technical name for this trick is “free jump mount,” #205b on the Standard Skills list. Suicide Mount is definitely one of the most widely used “street” names for a unicycle trick though.
http://www.unicycling.org/iuf/rulebook/iufrules/7sslist.html#d205

11

I hurt myself and wrote off a miyata seat doing a suicide mount. The uni was falling backwards so I landed on the front of the seat… it was just nicely balanced so instead of skidding away it stayed in one place, giving me the chance to try out for a choir and bending the front of the seat downwards at a fearsome angle.

Don’t believe the lies… :wink:

Phil

12

suicide mounts arent significantly more dangerous than many other tricks.

once you stop being chicken and just try it, you’ll find it easy.

once you learn not to fear the suicide mount you’ll have to overcome the fear of flying jump mounts and 180 suicides. both of which ARE more dangerous than suicides. not to mention actualy more dificult.

13

Well… Okay, so they can hurt you. But if you’re not going to chicken out, then you can’t mess up very easily. Unless your seat is too short, I find that it’s very annoying and sometimes painful when you land on the pedals thinking, “I did it!!” then you realize the seat just fell out behind you and you fall and die.

14

I always find it annoying when I fall and die, too.:smiley:

I can’t even convince myself to try a jump mount, let alone the suicide.:frowning:

15

Try doing it on grass, or some other really soft landing spot. Not that you’ll need to use the soft landing spot, but it will increase your confidence sooo much.