Tired of being presumed evil on forums by your very existance? Sick of people assuming that because of any random offhanded remark you might have made, you must be a Republican, and therefore, you are obviously a rich fundamentalist bigoted redneck white man who wants to bomb every country they can’t quite pronounce and when cut bleeds crude oil?
Become a Leftist/Liberal/Democrat!
1: TAKE ACTION! If you discover a problem, it is important that you do something immediately! The action you take need not have any relationship whatsoever to the problem, and it’s completely fine if you actually make the problem worse with your act of protest, the important thing is that you did something!
2: Praise and fund thine Lord Government. If only they had enough funding, the government would be omnipotent, omniscient, and omnibenevolent. People, on the other hand, cannot be trusted to do anything in their own interests - you are an exception to this rule.
3: People are evil! Soon, in spite of the fact that the birth rate in your country is well below replacement rate - and is one of the higher birthrates in the world, among industrialized nations - the world will be crawling with people. Everyone in the country is spitting out babies like a factory, with the exception of you and every single person you know. How can we solve this? Kill people. Mass genocide is A-OK, as long as you invoke population or the environment.
4: Foreign cultures must be preserved! This means forcing them to live in deadly, unsanitary, unsafe conditions and starve to death, denying them education and assistance. After all, if they had an education, and food, and safe water, they might build sturdier houses, wear modern clothes, and travel, and that would DESTROY THEIR CULTURE! zomg.
5: Primitive cultures are always right! You, of course, must emulate these cultures you are, um, ‘preserving’ at every opportunity. While the idea of doing Catholic religious ceremonies with neither training nor approval is unthinkable (I’ll just be turning this pizza and Budweiser into the Flesh and Blood of Jesus Christ now, dudes) it is completely reasonable to appropriate traditions from other cultures and claim superiority because of the wisdom gained therin.
6: If people buy it, it’s evil! If your mother’s cooking was so good that she openned a chain of restauraunts because of it, you’d firebomb her house. Anyone who trades goods or services for money to make a living is obviously a rich, insensitive pig, and you should focus your time and energy into ruining their lives. After all, you’ll never be successful after all the glass ceilings you’ve been building when you could have been hard at work bettering your position. The tall blade of grass must be chopped off after all, even if it means making everyone you know poor.
