Inspired by the spirits of diversity, history and diversion as well as Oscar Wilde’s fine but dark poem, “The Ballad of Reading Gaol” I offer the somewhat heavy handed poem below. Please bear in mind that I am neither a poet nor do I play one on TV.
Yes, and to Sarah Miller, Erin, slugbath, Nikkifrog, unijess (wherever she may be), and Naomi, I offer apologies for its, shall we say, phallo-centricity. Well, maybe not Naomi who would tell me not to be such a PC git.
Cheers,
Raphael Lasar
Matawan, NJ
The Ballad of the Unicyclist
I met a man upon one wheel
who was idling away his day
I asked him just how hard that was
but he declined to say
Instead he smiled and hopped the curb
and swiftly rode away.
One time I saw him in the park
on a uni 8 feet tall.
Wobbling to where the people stood,
straight down we thought he’d fall.
But rather torches he produced
and juggled to our frantic call.
He once was spied deep in the woods
As quickly he sped by
We thought on only just one wheel
We’d catch him by and by
Yet through the trees we hiked and searched
And no uni could we find
Five hundred miles, a thousand e’en
to him they were a stroll
Valleys, hills and endless plains
His wheel rolled and rolled
The weather it was all the same
Whether hot or whether cold.
He was a clown and athlete, too,
he laughed and ne’er would tire.
He rode the rough, steep mountain side,
and along the thin taut wire.
The children and the bicyclists,
all swore he was on fire.
His name? Watts, Peck and Bolton
he truly was all three.
Endurance, balance, humor, grit,
and much agility.
Without them all it must be said,
the unicyclist couldn’t be.
For each man rides the thing he loves
by each let it be seen.
Some ride two wheels and some ride four,
from three the child is weaned.
But he who uses only one,
it’s he who rides supreme.
Tis sweet to ride a two wheeled bike
for bicycles can be merry
A fast new car is sweet as well
As is a lazy ferry
But tis sweeter still on just one wheel
to refuse to be ordinary
