A trip around Alton Towers?

Dear All UK Uni people…

I went to Alton Towers just the other day and thought to myself “What a
pukker place to Uni” I think that i would be a good place for a ride,
there is loads of space and pathways etc etc. I dont know if anyone else
has been but if you have and you went on the river rapids thing… That
rotating base, now how cool would that be, If you paced yourself right,
you could unicycle on the spot. Just imagine 3 or 4 riders behind each
other doing

I know it is a bit expensive, but if you are like me and have a family, it
kills 2 birds with one stone, You get to Uni and the family gets to go
about and have their wits scared out of them…

So any ideas?