09 Torker jokes

Ok…Many of you may not be aware of the 09 Torker(or porker) jokes that started at CMW. There was a certain rider that NEVER quit talking about how “Ohh my goodness” great the next Torker model is going to be thanks to his assistance in their designing. Several riders had no way to vent but to just start making 09 Torker jokes, many variations off the Chuck Norris jokes…So since their were to many to remember, and I know we have a very creative bunch here. I would like for you to post your 09 Torker jokes here!

Chuck Norris cant break an 09 Torker, an 09 Torker can break Chuch Norris.

Someone once tried to break an 09 Torker, he woke up 3 months later.

Only the Lava from mount doom that created the 09 Torker can break it.

After being scarred from seeing the plans for the 09 Torker, Kris Holm claimed to tear his ACL so he would never have to ride one.

You can never ride a Torker 09, it can only ride you.

Historians believe that the Mayan civilzation dissapeared soon after they created the 09 Torker, they suggest that they rode them into the center of the earth.

The government has had plans for the 09 Torker since 1905

Scientists discovered that the egyptians used 09 Torkers to build the pyramids.

When God created woman, he used a rib from man. When God created the 09 Torker, he used the beard from Chuck Norris.

On the 8th day God created the 09 Torker.

I am the new '09 Torker.

The new '09 Torker was forged in Mount Doom.

an 09 Torker challenged Lance Armstrong to a “Having Testicles” contest. The Torker won by 5.

what? Too soon?

But seriously, Torkers don’t suck nearly as much as they did, say, 5 years ago.

An '09 Torker travelled back in time and saved JFK’s life by stopping the bullet ala Neo. Kennedy’s head exploded out of sheer amazement.

'09 Torker factoid: Uranium (U) (atomic number 92) is the naturally occurring element with the highest atomic weight. Now we know why the '09 torker is sooo heavy, and also why it GLOWS…even in broad daylight! :slight_smile:

Far into the future, I can just hear the reminiscences of these heavy, bullet-proof piggies! “Tanks for the memories!” :smiley:

I don’t get it.

Me neither, torker isnt really a bad brand… Unless this years DX is really that heavy, I dont see the point in this.

I don’t really either, but Cody’s title suggests making torker jokes, and so the only thing I could think to poke fun at, is the weight. But I’ve owned one and never had any complaints. It was strong and well built, and the price was right.:slight_smile:

How does the 09 hold up? stonger, lighter, less out of the way? what is it? what are the differences between 08 and 09 modols?

Ok this thread isn’t as much about torker as it is about the kid who got on everyones nerves from CMW 08. He just never stopped talking about how great the 09 was going to be…So it kidna started this brand of jokes, and they seem like a fun new past time.

You don’t need to pre-hop on an 09 Torker. You just stand still and the world bounces away from you.


Best one so far.

what is cmw

Another good one.

How do you do a unispin on an 09 Torker?

You do a standstill and the world revolves around it!


The [post=1594955]California Mountain Unicycle Weekend[/post]. Or Cal MUni Weekend. It was just last weekend.

Who was the annoying kid?

Every time you hop an 09 Torker, a kitten dies.


I looked up 09 Torker on Wikipedia, but all it gave me was a picture of God


Not just a Torker, but an Orator.

The '09 Torker doesn’t need a stiffener plate, it needs a softener plate, to keep your gooch from splitting open.