Jethro
July 20, 2006, 6:38am
21
I would mess things up more. Bruce is one of the nicest guys I know. If he were Catholic, there would be a St. Yoopers by now.
I agree Bruce is probably capable of working up a miracle or two but I thought Catholic Saints had to be dead first. I would like to see him around a bit longer for more mischief at Walmart.
Jethro
July 20, 2006, 7:03am
23
In Bruce’s case, I imagine they would waive that requirement.
GILD
July 20, 2006, 7:06am
24
There’d be quite a bit of waving going on.
The Process of Canonization
The process of declaring a deceased Christian to be saint was originally quite informal, but became increasingly regulated over the centuries and is now defined by canon law. The steps for becoming a saint are as follows:
Usually between 5 and 50 years after a would-be saint’s death, a formal request made to consider person as saint. The group making the request, called the Actor Causae, consists of people from the candidate’s church and community, and the request is directed to the bishop of the diocese where the person died. The request includes testimony of the person’s exceptional virtue and dedication to God.
The bishop decides whether the evidence is compelling enough to take it to Rome. If so, he asks the Congregation for the Causes of Saints for permission to open the cause.
If permission is granted, the bishop opens a tribunal and calls witnesses to attest to the quality of the person’s public lihttp://www.religionfacts.com/christianity/practices/honoring_saints/canonization.htm ence and documentation. If majority pass it, goes to Congregation.
If they approve, the Prefect of the Congregation authorizes person to be called Venerable.
If any miracles are reported (which qualify the person for beatification or canonization), the Prefect presents the cause to the pope to decide. Canonization is considered a function of papal infallibility, as it is important that believers venerate and pray to only those who are actually in heaven.
The pope declares beatification or canonization at a special Mass in the saint’s honor.
I’m of the opinion that it’s all done but Bruce just doesn’t like to use the title.
As a saint, I wonder if I would have more pull to hold off the rain this morning. The last time we had a huge yard sale some three years ago, it rained. Now it’s raining again on this of all mornings.
A staple in my medicine cabinet. Mary insists that I keep a good supply on hand.
if you were a saint you could make it rain fish!
Jethro
July 20, 2006, 8:30am
28
I don’t hear him denying it.
St. Bruce forgot his halo and holy object. (Why is there no Bruce on this list ?)
harper
July 20, 2006, 11:10am
32
This thread is far to silly and immature for my liking. There is too much creativity, camaraderie, and tolerance as well. This is just conversation and this is serious business. Now buckle down or knuckle under or do whatever it is that serious folks do. Bruce was a canonized, WalMart employee decades ago. Why can’t you people just let go?
Oops, wrong holy object. This is better:
st bruce2.bmp (197 KB)
Yeah and don’t forget: ban sunken restoration torpedoes.
Rumors! Simply unsubstantiated rumors! How could you defame my good name like that?
me and my friend got banned from popeyes chicken because i guess popeye doesnt like unicycles in his “restaurant” as they said. even though its connected to a gas station and one of the dirtyest food places ive ever been to
yoopers:
What can I say?
Thank you Wally Brown.
You should of used the picture of you with a spoon on your nose.
The number one google result of St. Bruce
“So I pray to Saint Bruce…”
“Saint Who?”
“Saint Bruce, the Patron Saint of Martial Arts. I say, ‘Saint Bruce, send meVictor Sage,’ and here you are.”
Jethro (Bill), Hopy you haven’t already left for UNICON. The Rev. Farley asked me to pass this on to you:
THE DIVINE GUIDING LIGHT MISSION
1134 East Trent
Missoula, MT 59801
406-262-3862
July 20, 2006
c/o Mr. Steve
Mr. Bill
Minneapolis, MN
Dear Bill:
Perhaps you have heard of the Divine Guiding Light Mission and the wonderful work that we do nationwide in fighting the evils and abuses of alcohol and smoking – the devil’s tools.
Each year my staff and I conduct a personal appearance campaign in an attempt to rescue sinners from the abused and terrible effects of smoking and drinking. So far the results have been most heartwarming.
Otis Jenkins has gone with me on each trip of the campaign now for the past eleven years – we call the trips “rescue missions”. I first met Otis on skid road in Seattle. He was a sorry sight. The many years that he had abused his body and soul with the over indulgence of tobacco and alcohol had left his body in a state of disaster. His eyes were bleary and red; his complexion was gray and puffy. His constant shaking was uncontrollable, and most of his hair and teeth had fallen out. Poor Otis was an ungodly sight.
In our appearances Otis would always be on stage as a living example of the horrible effects of alcohol and tobacco. The sight of him would cause many sinners to repent and refrain from smoking and drinking immediately, and forever.
Unfortunately, Otis passed away this past month – his miseries ended.
THIS IS NOT A REQUEST FOR A DONATION!
Two mutual acquaintances, Mr. Steve and Mr. Bruce, have suggested that you might be a suitable replacement for Otis. Your picture, which we saw on your Blog, certainly suggests that you are the man I am looking for. Kindly give this your careful consideration and let me know if you will accept the challenge of this good and saving work.
Please let me know.
Very Truly Yours,
Rev. Charles U. Farley
looks like the holy hand grenade(Monty Python and the Holy Grail)
Jethro
July 21, 2006, 6:28am
40
UniBrier:
Jethro (Bill), …Two mutual acquaintances, Mr. Steve and Mr. Bruce, have suggested that you might be a suitable replacement for Otis.:
Would I have to quit smoking and drinking?