I’ve read many threads asking the question, “what’s the best unicycle for me?” They are relatively short on information pertaining to the interests or abilities of the rider. I’d like to ask the question, “what’s the worst possible unicycle for me?” You know nothing about me. Be creative.
Re: worst unicycle for me
Sadly though Greg we do know a lot about you.
The worst unicycle for you would be one that behaves and is constructed exactly as your ideal unicycle would. That would leave you no opportunity to tinker and improve. That would leave you miserable.
Raphael Lasar
Matawan, NJ
Anything with an original Torker seat, or better yet lets just replace it all together with that steel rod…
I would say the tire would have to be made from the stickest substance know to man maybe have a perma super gule kinda effect where you put it down and it just gets stuck. I think it would be really messy too so you would get it all overyourself and just get stuck to the most random things if you even concider riding, like the pizza man.
Cranks would not even be close to straight or the same length for that matter.
Rim made of aluminum foil might be good too while were at it.
I’m sick so all this stuff is actaully lame, but to me sounds brilliant…
Mike
No, that was great. That was exactly what I was looking for.
A 10 foot or 12 foot giraffe. You can ask UniBrier why it’s the worst possible unicycle for you.
Make that a 12+ foot giraffe, my accident was only on a 9 1/2 footer. Greg is so tall he will need the extra height for maximum damage.
On the other end of the spectrum: The worst unicyle would be Abby’s 16" Torker with the cut seat post so it is as low as possible. I bet the sound of your knees popping could be heard accross three counties.
how about a geared hub with a ratio of something like 1:10^-32, so basically it doesnt matter how hard you try youd fall, to that i`d add a really big wheel 56" seems ok, that would add difficulty to the “free mounting” and make the falling more painful, the frame would be extra wide, just for un-comfort, the saddle woud have a 11.1 seatpost miyata style, but the saddle would be a cheap (asian) version of the original torker saddle on a child’s size, on miyata green. Also the cranks would have huge pegs at least three times longer than the kh cranks, and of course clipless pedals.
Julian
Oh, goodness. These are all wonderful suggestions. These will help me buy me next unicycle. Maybe the Drummonds will get some fresh ideas from this. Please, keep them coming.
No, a tire made of teflon, with the super glue stuff on the sidewalls, so that it doesn’t actually give any grip, but it’s still like what Mike described.
No pedals, just nails.
No seat, and a seatpost made of a nail, pointy side up.
1 piece cranks, made out of a spoke.
Top all that all off with it being on an 18ft girrafe. With a rubber band in place of a chain.
Man I’m bored.
A unicycle whittled out of wood. Soft wood, like pine. Left out in the rain for a couple says, then in the blazing sun, so it’s all sorts of warped.
It would be a 10 ft giraffe, but the seat would be 6 inches higher than the pedals.
The saddle would be made of wood as well, and shaped like an upside down V.
How about a giraffe (any size) with a set of sprockets and chains on both the right and left sides, capable of turning independently. Loop one chain in a figure-8 so your left foot pedals “backwards”, while the right foot is going “forwards”. For added fun, take a couple of teeth off one of the sprockets, so that your feet go around at slightly different frequencies. Add a hydro-pak that will carry a 750 ml bottle of good whisky, drink about a quarter of the contents, and off you go…
the worst unicyce for you…
Ok, i’m gonna take what jjuggle said about you liking to tinker and improve, cause I don’t know you.
The worst possible uncycling for you would be a decent unicycle that could use some tinkering and improving. Theres this catalog you just got in the mail that has all these awesome parts to improve the unicycle to be just the way you want it to be and at very awesomely low prices, and you just got fired from your job so you have tons of time to work on it. Only thing is that i’m your next door neibhor and I own the unicycle, which I won’t let you ride, plus I want my catalog back, the mail man dropped it off at your house by mistake.
The unicycle would have to be made out of something priceless to you Greg. I have come up with the ultimate unicycle that would be the worst for you.
The unicycle would be completely normal except for the wheel. The wheel would be composed out of your gigantic slide rule. You would have to re-master idling if you ever wanted to measure anything again! And it would be easy for you to log your distances for every adventure you went on. However, you would have to find something to replace the current area taken up on your wall.
Re: worst unicycle for me
missing pieces
Dave-
I’m sure you would recommend a unicycle with missing pieces…much like the link you provided.
There’s another big neutrino detector in South Africa. I’ll try to get there sometime.
Re: missing pieces
'-)
(it was supposed to link to a uni with training wheels on ebay and i only realised the link was bunk after posting it
i like it better this way tho)
there’s a what?
when?
Maybe this one?
a bike
A MUni made from chocolate.
If you ride it in the dirt you can’t eat it.
If you eat it, you can’t ride it in the dirt.
In fact you can’t ride it at all because it’s too weak, and you can’t eat it because it doesn’t exist.
Maybe the best use for it would be to jump-mount it with your chocolate foot. Getting the subsequent criticism from all the chocolate lovers on these fora is part of why this is the worst unicycle for you.
Klaas Bil
Well, thinuniking already posted the first thing that popped into my mind, so I’ll have to come up with a new one.