Wonkey Riding

It doesn’t always happen but sometimes i seem to ride wonkey and i can’t help it especially went i’m riding up hill it’s really annoying and it nearly makes me unbalance so much i fall off why? please help me i don’t want to be cursed with wonkey curse! :frowning:

There could be heaps of reasons, and I’m not sure exactly what it is. Make sure your seat is on straight, and that your feet are nicely lined up on the pedals. Most likely if you practise lots you will get less wonky, depending on what is causing the wonkiness. Perhaps you should ask XWonka about that, surely he is an expert. I hope you shake the wonky curse soon Treepotato, it must be annoying. Sometimes I do zigzags when going up steep hills, just from putting so much pressure on each pedal it moves the wheel side to side, but it doesn’t usually make me fall off.

Were you ever in Quebec, stowing timber on the deck?

Oh, "W"onkey riding… sorry.

First, is it your tyre? (US = tire)

A soft tyre will sometimes squidge to one side, giving the uni a bias.

A tyre with a central ridge, or a central row of knobbles will make this worse as the ridge (or central row of knobbles) well tend to fold over one way.

A camber or cross slope will make this more noticeable. If you’re riding up a pavement (sidewalk) parallel to the road then it might be that the pavement is sloping slightly towards the road for drainage. or if you are ridng up the road, the road will almost certainly have a camber.

A firmer tyre will always help, but may not cure the problem entirely.

Many tyres handle appallingly badly on a hard surface but are fine on soft or uneven ground.

Next, is your seat too high or too low? Is the seat straight? Are you sitting on it straight? Are your feet similarly positioned on the pedals (not one instep and one ball-of-the foot).

Are you looking a long way ahead, or looking at the ground. The further ahead you look, the straighter you’ll go.

Are you spinning smoothly, or pushing the pedals in an harsh rhythm? Spin smoothly, and you’ll go better.

Are your cranks the same length as each other? Do they feel a comfortable length for you? If too long, you will find the uni tends to wander a bit.

Are you holding the saddle front or handle? This is good if you can do it well, but if you try to do it too soon in your learning curve, it can introduce problems. Hold in ghte saddle or handle is a technique useful in some circumstances, rather than simply a style point.

Failing all of the above, you may need to look at whether there is a fundamental problem with the uni, like the wheel being uneven, the frame being twisted, and so on. But look at the simple stuff first.

Good luck.


As a professional Wonkologist I can state that the cause of the previously described wonkiness stems from some internal maltraction in the wonk gland (located two wonk units away from the soul). The most occurring factor that causes this kind of wonkiness (defined as wonkiness type II) happens when the chemical Wonkidophrene (regulated by the wonkie lobe of the brain) is set out of balance when too much flows to the above mentioned gland.

Actually I have no idea what’s wrong. Umm… are you using different pedals?

It’s really just how much you practise. When I go up hills it’s hard not to wonk out, just because of the pressure differences on each side of the uni.

Re: Wonkey Riding

treepotato <treepotato@NoEmail.Message.Poster.at.Unicyclist.com> wrote in message news:<treepotato.zk9lc@NoEmail.Message.Poster.at.Unicyclist.com>…
> It doesn’t always happen but sometimes i seem to ride wonkey and i can’t
> help it especially went i’m riding up hill it’s really annoying and it
> nearly makes me unbalance so much i fall off why? please help me i
> don’t want to be cursed with wonkey curse! :frowning:

Dear TreePotato,

I have some disappointing news for you. I’ve seen this condition
before and can tell you with confidence that “Wonkey Riding” is an
early indication of elephantitis of the testicles. One of them is
obviously larger and heavier than the other, resulting in a loss of
balance. You’re probably in the early stages now, but in the coming
weeks you can expect one of your nuts to swell the size of a 10lb
bowling ball. Your best option at this point is to grab a pair of
scissors and slice off the offending testicle before it becomes
unwieldy. Of course this won’t help your initial complaint of “Wonkey
Riding” unless you go ahead and hack off the other one while your at
it. That should take care of the problem.

Good luck and happy riding!!


  • tod1814

slight probelm there mate…i’m a girl


  • XWonka

haha thanks for trying anyway :stuck_out_tongue:

Treepotato can be very glad she doesn’t have Elephantiasis, because that would not be fun at all. Speaking of Elephantiasis of the nuts, it’s funny that you mention that, because it’s shown on the ‘Nads’ thing before the unicycling on XSTV. I hope to never get it!

Re: Wonkey Riding

from what i’ve noticed from my own learning experience and showing a couple of other people how to teach themselves i’d like to propose a possible solution

esp with ‘new’ riders the tendency to have the uni ‘wave’ (wonk?) from side to side as u pedal is an indication that u r sitting too upright and need to lean slightly more forward

since u aren’t a ‘new’ rider by any stretch but mainly have this problem going uphill, i’d venture to say that the same still applies

try leaning into the hill just a lil’ bit more and tell me if it made a difference
(a too-high seat will make it more difficult to lean forward so make sure u check that also)


improvment in the wonk thankyou GILD! :wink:

get a rocket powered unicycle, it worked for me.