witnessing verbal abuse. should we take action?

Off-topic
1

I’m sitting down in the bus and infront of me is this old (about 40+) (sorry for all you “young” 40+ people), shady looking, white, man. He’s got long greasy hair, clothes too big for him and that look like they’ve not been washed anytime recently.

This young-ish asian women then comes and bumps into the man while the bus was braking and makes her appologies to the man.

The man says that no appologies were needed… pauses… then goes on about how he knows “her people”… THEN he goes on to disgustingly insulting “her people” saying that they are uncivilized, dirty, smelly, and only fit for slavery by “his people”.

At first it seemed as though the man was just joking around but what COULD have MAYBE passed as a badly delivered humorous comment soon became disgustingly rascist.

The asian woman was confused and tried to ignore the man but he kept going on about how they were all from a country of whores because that was the only thing they were good for… seeing as how they were simply “less intelligent” than “his people”.

She couldn’t move away from him either because the bus was packed tight at the time.

Listening in on this (I mean, what else am I supposed to do on the bus??) I decided to tell the man to quit his rascist bullshit. It was killing my good mood.

Right after I said that the bus stopped and the asian woman got off… only to leave me and the other man face to face.

We had an argument… little of it being actually coherent nor making much sense.

I told him that we didn’t need people like him in our society and that I was surprised he actuall managed to live in this neighborhood with that kind of mentality.

He then went on that he lived because he was strong…

then said something about how in his country he was shit… and that if I touch shit I’ll smell like shit…? But I didn’t really understand what that was all about :P.

Noone in the bus really noticed or did anything, not even when the man pushed me after I got up.

Anyways… I realise that I couldn’t POSSIBLY have changed his mentality by confronting him… but it had to be done.

right?

What would you guys do in a situation like that?

I realise, from what I saw on the bus, that more often than not the answer is: “I would ignore it and not get involved”.

But is that RIGHT? Surely it isn’t… but then again, neither is picking a fight with a man who obviously has a few screws missing.

Aaaaah the complexities of living in our cultural mosaic.

did I mention that the white man was an immigrant aswell? That’s somewhat ironic no?

2

geez, popular thread…

I tihnk you did the right thing though…the only thing that would of improved it was defending the woman while she was still there…that might have made her feel a little better

3

The only acceptable thing for you to do in this situation is to quietly get up and urinate over his face.

4

It’s always a hard decision, rememebr this an alcohol needs to eb told he has a probelm 40 times before he will change his behavior. I assume it is a similar number for racists and litterers. When I see peopel litter, especially when it’s still flameing cigarette butts and especially when there is a trash can inteh immeidate vicinity, they are going to act like you’re a jack ass and go on with their business as usual. But if someone in the future points it out too it mighht make a difference.

As with your case after the woman had gotten off the bus I don’t see much point in confronting him. While she was still there however she may have appreciated someone stepping in and taking some of the heat.

I wish I could just not see bad behavior because my conscience won’t let me not do something, but when I do and when I am treated like the jerk in the situation it bothers me long afte rhte incident and I am sure the other person got over it pretty quickly because they obviosuly don’t give a damn about other people.

Sometimes I wish I codl not give a damn.

5

just to correct things… I started confronting him while she was still in the bus but she quickly got off it.

6

You did the right thing.

Confronting people like that does actually make a diffrence. It might not change him, but it will infuence other people. If other people on the bus see that you have the bas to stand up for what you believe in, then maybe they will too, and so on and so forth.

Not to mention that America is still not such a great place for minorities (I’m just saying that improvment is stil needed), so if you stand up forsomeone, maybe they will stand up for themselves next time. Maybe if enough people speak out against racism now, there won’t be a next time. (ok ok ok, that last line was cheesy)

So I was on one of those mass transit trains in miami once, and I was talking to my friends about a show (Utra music fest) we were attending that afternoon. A guy on the train misinterpreted what I had said and started spouting off a bunch of racist bullshit to me.

Of course I flipped out at him! It was great. I felt awesome, and the other peope on the train seemed to think it was pretty great too.

One thing I would like to point out is that I often dress worse than that guy you met on the bus. Dont judge people by their appearances.

7

Man, I was judging him on a lot more than his appearance :stuck_out_tongue:

Bah, but the reason I mentioned his clothing was to further back up the absurdity of the whole situation… he was calling the asian woman’s people “dirty” and saying they had bad hiegene when he clearly wasn’t aquainted with it himself.

8

Don’t fret.
You did good.

9

Yeah Owen…You did the right thing. You shoulda gone Kung fu on his a** though…That woulda been cool. And it woulda been more your style.

10

You did the right thing… respect coming your way.

Too bad you didnt go all Anti Rascist/Facist Action on his ass. Kick that nazi bastard to the curb. But that wouldnt have been a good idea, especially on a bus :wink:

11

You did good, great job man! you saw something wrong and took a stand for it, you stood up against racism and to protect the lady who was being harassed.

I would of done the same thing, I mean, on little things, you can let them fly, but on things like what happened with you, you should stand up for it.

12

If there were more people like YOU in this world, there would be fewer people like HIM.

I believe that one reason many people act the way they do is because more often than not, they are allowed to get away with it. Whether it’s some racist spouting hate on a bus, or some kids beating the crap out of an old lady and taking her purse while people just stand around and watch… not wanting to get involved.

A bus full of people, and it takes a 17 year old kid to tell the guy he was being a punk.

13

okay… So everyone feels good about it then? Awesome… I dunno I thought maybe I made too much of a big deal out of it at the time because the woman seemed to have let it slide by… and I was the only one doing anything about it afterwards…

oh well,

woot! score one for my gut feeling!

14

yah man you did the totally right thing. I hate it when people are like that to, i was hanging with some of my japanese friends and every where i turned ther was points giggles and other crap like that. thats the kinda stuff that really makes me wanna kill somone.

15

Sounds like maybe he was mentally ill. For something that vehement to pop out of basically nothing, there’s a good chance, especially on a bus, that the guy was off his meds.

Does this make it okay? No. Does this make it a good idea to argue with him? Also no. But I’ll get to that.

Was that what you said? If you used “bullsh*t” or the equivalent, you were somewhat lowering yourself to his level. This is not necessary in a public place.

It probably wasn’t her stop either. She was just diffusing the situation. Though you were offering her support, she perhaps saw the potential for violence to follow. Or she was planning to get off before you said anything. Or it was her stop.

I’m sure everyone who could hear the two of you was listening to every word. They just chose not to inflame the situation.

Not necessarily right, but, I think, good. In other words you didn’t necessarily do the right thing but you did good to say something to let the woman know she wasn’t on her own. You supported your community.

And you didn’t get stabbed or shot! Perhaps this is less of a worry in Montreal, but it would be a concern in many large American cities. For this reason, My wife Jacquie gets really annoyed at me when I speak up sometimes.

So what would I do? Assuming it was just me, and of course allowing for plenty of time to think about it while sitting in front of my computer, perhaps the best thing to do is diffuse things, not confront. Rather than joining this character in his own argument, you could try jumping in with something else, like “So which people are yours?” That’s still a little confrontational, but less direct. Even less optimum would be: “So which people are yours? If any of them are on this bus they might not agree with you.”

Anyway, what would I say? I might start with “EXCUSE ME.” This should cause a pause. Then perhaps “That’s enough. Haven’t you ever bumped into anyone in a crowded bus?”

Being mentally ill doesn’t make such behavior acceptable in any way. All it does is give him the benefit of the doubt that he’s not just a really rude racist pig. If you commit crimes or other offenses when off your meds, or while under an undiagnosed mental condition, you’re still guilty.

I would be proud of you for saying something in that situation. Everyone else in that part of the bus was a wuss compared to you.

That is, again, assuming you didn’t get stabbed, shot or beaten up. :smiley:

16

mad props man, you did the right thing

17

The mentally ill do seem to make a habit of hanging out on buses. I’ve encountered a few, including a bloke who randomly started headbutting a window when me and some friends were on the way to a gig.

18

If you’re like me, it’d bother you much longer not speaking up.

Remember that old Holocaust quote that ends; And when they came for me, there was no one left to speak out.

19

ummm i dont know if i would have been as brave as you. you did a really good thing by stepping up. i totally agree i think everyones equal, straight up. you seem pretty level headed man, most teenagers dont have strong opinions about things that matter. i…love you owen.

20

That’s funny you use that qoute. I am “Very” vocal in this type of situation. Anyone suprised? Can’t help myself. Fortunately most of the people like Owen discovered are cowards, and let it go once they are shamed by someone standing up to them. The funny thing about the qoute is one of my jewish friends is always trying to stop me from responding to people who speak inapropriately.