Perhaps it wasn’t wise to go for a ride at all - I woke with a stiff back - but it was August Bank Holiday, and it would have been a pity to waste the day.
On a whim, I took the 24. Most of my recent rides have been on the 28 or Coker, with one brief but glorious burst of MUni last Monday on the 26.
The 24 has 102mm cranks, giving it a ratio of 33%, the same as the Coker. So the famous Constant Footspeed Hypothesis suggests that the two unicycles will have similar top speeds and cruising speeds. Yeah, right… well maybe top speed, on a good day. We’ll see.
My route was from Trent Lock at Sawley up to the canal basin at Langley Mill. Years ago, our Morris team danced at the official opening of the basin - that’s more impressive than it sounds: the ‘basin’ isn’t something in which you wash your hands, it’s a big pool for the mooring of canal boats. Interesting tidbit for those who care: Langley Mill is next to Eastwood, home of D H Lawrence.
The ride was a bit samey: about 12 miles of semi-smooth but soundly made towpath in a fairly straight line, with on a a few very short inclines past the locks. The nearest things to obstacles were the bridges. This is a ‘narrow’ canal, and the bridges were made the minimum size possible, about 7 foot 6 inches (2.28 metres), for a narrowboat to pass through. The towpath usually offers two options: ducking under the bridge and riding a narrow and sometimes cobbled path next to an unfenced drop into the water, or a short climb up to the end of the bridge, and a drop back down to rejoin the towpath immediately after. After a while, it wears thin.
The scenery is a mixture of industrial (the backs of big red brick warehouses and factory units), residential (mainly scruffy back gardens to the edge of the canal), and rural. It’s pleasant enough, and I see a few novelties: a huge bed of rushes with the heads towering above mine to a height of about 10 feet (3 metres), a water rat that runs alongside me for a second or two, a tiny frog crawling (not hopping) across the path which I avoid at the last minute. But mainly, it’s huge numbers of fishermen, families on bicycles, and pedestrians - too many for the ride to be relaxing.
One new comment: “Owt to save tyres.”
(Non natives: ‘owt’ = ‘anything’. Locally pronounced ‘ote’, as opposed to ‘note’ which means ‘nothing’. Compare with ‘aught’ and ‘naught’. ‘Nowt’ to rhyme with ‘out’ is Lancastrian.)
The basin is 12 miles from the start, so when I get there, I’ve committed myself to a 24 mile total distance - that’s 24 on a 24. I think I’ve done it before, but now I know (or hope I know) that I will soon have one confirmed 24/24 ride in my unicycling CV. (24 miles is 38.6 km.)
But at 18 miles, disaster strikes! My legs are tiring from the frantic cadence of the 102mm cranks, my backside is starting to feel the seat rather too much, and my back is still aching from this morning. So I stop for a few minutes, sit own on the canal bank… and then can’t stand up because my back has gone into spasm! 6 miles from the car, 20 miles from home, 20 miles from my nearest family member - if they’ve not gone out - and I’m crippled!
I manage to stagger to a bench and lie flat on that. I convince myself that drinking fluids will help, and virtually drain my Camelbak. I convince myself that calories will help, and consume my last Snickers bar. I stand up, bent over at 30 degress, and try a few steps, pushing the unicycle. No way can I push it 6 miles like this.
In desperation, I do an assisted mount against a post (oh, the shame!) and struggle to straighten my back. I ride with gritted teeth at a steady speed, trying to support my back by leaning on the front of the Viscount seat with the heel of my hand.
Every bridge now becomes a significant obstacle, and a tactical challenge. Riding isn’t too bad, but dismounting and mounting could make things worse - if I can remount at all. The ‘fairly smooth’ towpath is now an uneven and unpleasant minefield. Irritating comments from anglers now draw a curt response.
As the 6 miles tick away, I loosen up a little, and freemounting becomes possible with care. I make it back to the car and struggle to get the uni into the back. I drive home cautiously for a hot bath and a rest. I’m mobile, but I need to go up stairs on all fours. Looks like tomorrow’s fencing lesson might have to be cancelled.
But the good news? 24.27 miles on a 24 (39 km.)
Riding time 3:12.21 (total time nearer 4 hours)
Average riding speed 7.57mph (12.18 kmh)
24 inch wheel, 102mm cranks.
Even allowing for the back problem, the ratio alone does not make the uni the same as a Coker for speed.
Max. recorded speed: 12mph (19.3 kmh)