I don’t take credit for this myself, though I wish I could. Credit goes
to Mark Lebowitz (not a unicyclist). All uses of the word “bicycle” have
been omitted and unicycle has been inserted in its place. Enjoy!
Of course red unicycles are faster. Everybody knows that, and here’s the
behind it. The electromagnetic wavelength of red, being at the long end
the visible light spectrum, exerts a greater force on the air molecules
surrounding the unicycle, with an average coefficient of .0024 dynes per
This difference would be kept in a perpetual state of dynamic equilibrium
were it not for the Doppler Effect, which compresses those light rays in
front of the unicycle while elongating those behind the unicycle,
effect for a net of .0048 dynes/micron behind the bike and .0016 in
The net result is that a red unicycle in motion will always be faster in
whatever direction the rider chooses to propel it than a similar non-red
unicycle. This also explains red unicycles’ propensity to crash harder
unicycles, as well as their greater tendency to float in midair when
Alas, it also means that red unicycles are less likely to survive a
any dents from which the paint doesn’t flake off reflect the light in
unanticipated directions, increasing light pressure on affected parts of
frame, which can cause stress cracks to form.
Yes! Yes! That’s it! I knew that there was more to it than Lewis was just getting better at riding! It was his RED Hunter. Thanks you so much for helping me to understand why I’m struggling so to keep up. I knew that I should have ordered a custom RED powder coat on my Wilder. Thanks for saving me years of frustration.
Lewis, I’m on to your little games!
Well I started with a cheap red pashley and my current Muni is red but this has got more to do with my favourite animation “Reds Dream” by Pixar. It was watching that animation and then coming across the red pashley handing from the rafters of a juggling shop that gave me the push to buy it and try to learn.
Re: Why you should ride a RED unicycle
Shoot, and I thought it was just my pure skill that made me that much
“Noel.Holland” <Noel.Holland.firstname.lastname@example.org> wrote in
> Well I started with a cheap red pashley and my current Muni is red but
> this has got more to do with my favourite animation “Reds Dream” by
> Pixar. It was watching that animation and then coming across the red
> pashley handing from the rafters of a juggling shop that gave me the
> push to buy it and try to learn.
> Noel.Holland - --------------------------------
> Noel.Holland’s Profile: http://www.unicyclist.com/profile/560
> View this thread: http://www.unicyclist.com/thread/17366
I wasn’t that fast last time you saw me. Part of it was the fact that my seat was WAY too high (but I didnt realize it) and the tire was underinflated for my tastes.
Of course, with everything adjusted so badly on my end for our last (and sadly only, to date) memphis ride, I must say that it was this “red uni” speed factor that allowed me to even go forward at all!
P.S. I need to wash off my Hunter and take some pics now that the right seat finally arrived!
so is that actually true about red? it sounds right, but it could be some random shit from a dictionary and the discovery channel all put together in one paragraph to look good.
its interesting tho.
Re: Why you should ride a RED unicycle
On Thu, 11 Apr 2002 09:22:00 -0500, TRexSi
>so is that actually true about red? it sounds right, but it could be
>some random shit from a dictionary and the discovery channel all put
>together in one paragraph to look good.
>its interesting tho.
It is as true as the story about this motorist who ran through a red
traffic light. He got a $100 ticket for it, but protested arguing that
due to his speed the Doppler shift effect made the light appear green.
The judge believed him and said OK the $100 fine is remitted but you
have to pay $1 BILLION for speeding 500 million mph.
“To trigger/fool/saturate/overload Echelon, the following has been picked automagically from a database:”
“Security Consulting, Ramsi Bin Al-Shib, MYK”
I printed that out and showed it to my Physics teacher, and he said, and I quote, “what? thats complete bullshit!” he took it seriously. What a moron.