When it whines too much, you can just replace the offending part.
It’s OK to mount the uni without permission.
When it starts looking old, you can just re-paint it.
The seat does not get wider over time.
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Why a uni is better than a man/woman?
They don’t nag.
No Mother-in-law!
You don’t have to remember birthdays, anniversaries.
They don’t get offended or ask you where you’ve been, or when you’re coming home.
They don’t look terrible in the morning. (Except for maybe some mud from the previous day’s ride, but that’s a badge of honor with MUni!)
They don’t make you watch soaps or rent dvds like “Green fried tomatoes”, or Steel Magnolias.
There’s a trail called “G-spot” that you can actually FIND!
And, most importantly, you can UNscrew a unicycle. 
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Oh, and the only “rubber” you need is on your uni’s rim! 
Oh, and your uni’s “nipples” will never sag like a fried egg hanging off of a nail!
I just wanted to add, that this is all in JEST, so please don’t get mad ladies, lol. :o
But my main point is…
Unis: You can’t live without 'em, and you can’t live without 'em!
This thread is sexist and will probably be deeply offensive to chicks.
Not if they have a healthy sense of humor! :D:D:D But I do apologize if anyone is offended, but it was only in jest, as I said before. I welcome the ladies to tell us why unis are better than guys, lol! Let us have it, haha! And there’s plenty of playful male-bashing all over the place…and some, maybe not so playful. And it’s all non-specific and no person(s) were singled out. Like “Blonde” jokes, “Mother-in-law jokes”. My gosh, if “PC” were too find its way into movies and tv, what would become of Family Guy or countless movies, like Jackass!? 
Btw, I would say that some of eminem’s and other rappers lyrics a beyond “offensive”, and downright nasty, and mean-spirited to women, yet they sell millions of records…um, cd’s, lol.
Which of course is why I referred to the little laydeez as “chicks”.
Check this out. Lisa Laminelli roasting Gene Simmons! It just goes to prove the ladies can dish it out with the best of them! Rated “PG” for a few not-so-bad expletives.
I hope that this won’t “deeply offend” Mike Fule, lol! :p:D 
Lol! I totally missed that. Well played! 
I tried to name the thread to essentially invite some guy-bashing!
Hope it doesn’t manage to get me banned before I’ve even got 10 posts. . . :o
In the interest of evening things up a bit…
- The uni will never steal the remote or complain about watching Fried Green Tomatoes (get it right, MuniAddict! :P)
- The uni may randomly dump you, but at least you don’t have to fight over who gets to keep the apartment.
- You can ride it in public without getting arrested.
- You can adjust the length just the way you like it.
- It won’t get jealous if it catches you looking at other unis.
If you were at home and it was raining heavily outside and your wife/girlfriend was at the back door and your unicycle was at the front. Who would you let in first???
Easy, the unicycle. Cause it won’t complain once it is inside. 
haha, great line!
Why a uni is better than a man…
Woman’s response…
-Doesn’t stop when its tired…keeps going till your tired.
-Doesn’t disappear for days.
-it’s always ready when you want a ride
-you don’t have to warm it up
-doesn’t require too much attention.
-doesn’t require food all the time
-never complains
-doesn’t get jealous
-enjoys public displays of holding the seat without squirming.
-frame doesn’t sag in the middle after awhile
-can accept the fact you drop it
and
if it get’s soft-it can be blown up without much effort to it’s performance level
Jeremy almost took the words right out of my mouth, lol
Guys speaking for myself, I for one won’t get mad, hope you don’t either, lol. I enjoy the challenge, hehe…
That Gene Simmons clip was hilarious. No mercy…
Because it’s the only “one” I can always rely on!
You can have more than one unicycle without them getting jealous
you can ride your mates unicycle in front of them
you dont have to wine and dine a unicycle before you can mount it
If you decide to replace your uni with a newer one, the old one won’t stalk you, or slap you with a lawsuit for everything you’ve got!
Which reminds me…Get a UNI Sir Paul!
My unicycle never, ever meets me at the door after work with the question, “What’s for dinner?”
My unicycle never, ever sulks when I spend the day (or even the week!) riding my horse instead.
My unicycle never, ever second guesses where we’re going or why; and never insists that we go where it wants to go instead.
My unicycle never, ever complains that I spent the day outside riding instead of cleaning the house or doing the laundry.
My unicycle never seems to think I should be entertaining it, but it’s always entertaining to me.
My unicycle never, ever turns on the TV; and it doesn’t have a page on Facebook.
My unicycle never has a judgmental word about anyone or anything; it has no gender issues, it doesn’t play silly passive aggressive games; well, really it’s just pretty darned undemanding and always ready for a good time…
Sounds like some of you have relationship issues. Something to work on.
Sometimes, in moments of tenderness, I attempt to hug my unicycle. It just stands there, cold, limp, and unresponsive. Why won’t it talk to me? Why won’t it look me in the eyes?
If you dont think your relationship has issues then for sure you have something to work on!!!