Let’s turn it around.
Do you prefer to be told a little white lie to spare your feelings or do you prefer the blunt and honest truth (even if it’s a bit painful)?
Good turn-around.
I’ve dated those who would ‘white-lie’ to you for a while.
I’ve dated those who would be upfront and honest with you.
I’ve been drinking with those who would ‘white-lie’ to you.
I’ve been drinking with those who would be upfront and honest with you.
I know what I prefer.
My comments stand.
A mega white lie:
“Unicycling is crap!”
It depends on the situation.
Emotional/interpersonal intimacy (not sex) requires NO deceptions, neither by commission nor by omission, which means you can’t simply neglect your partner information they would want ot know or which they would consider relevant to the relationship.
No white lies allowed there.
But with those we interact with for extrinsic purposes, like the salesman or the customer, I’m not seeking intimacy, and polite white lies may be the order of the day. Or if your friend’s mom serves you dinner, and it’s bad, you can say it’s delicious!!!
But then you get invited back for more. You will have to tell another lie in order to conveniently and “politely” decline the dinner invitation. It’s a slippery slope.
So I think you are saying (I’m extrapolating)… the less close you are to someone, the more you can lie to them? What about your siblings? Parents? Extended family? Close friends? Casual friends? What if your job requires it? What if you are not “out” and you need to make up a story to protect your secret? (I went to the library last night.) And can you get in the habit of telling (white) lies? They sure are convenient and easy, aren’t they?
A white lie is still a lie. It’s deception and it’s not fair to the other person. You don’t have to be brutally honest, blurting out everything that comes into your mind, but don’t you owe it to the person, don’t you respect the person enough… to tell them the truth? Or hint at the truth (tactfully and delicately), without deceit?
Just food for thought and discussion. Don’t infer any holier-than-thou.
I left out to words in my first writing (Bolded ALL Caps above).
Dave,
I have stated the pragmatic position. The pragmatists have been around since ancient Greece. Pragmatism is about means to an END.
Pragmatists would ask you what is your end goal in being honest, and ask you whether you have achieved your goal.
In the first example, the person’s goal is emotional/interpersonal intimacy.
In the second example, it’s to continue a friendly business relationship.
GILD isn’t the only clown I can hire for my event, and if he keeps telling me TRUTHS I don’t want to hear, I’ll hire you instead, or harper.
BTM
Bill, I pragmatically achieve my goal of not being deceptive. Telling a white lie is not the ONLY way to spare someone’s feelings.
And you are going to hire me as a clown? Do I look like a clown??? Do I have a big, funny nose? OK, DON’T ANSWER THAT!!!
Your goal is not being deceptive, so you can be the most honest man on the planet, or to just be superior to us.
And what’s with that “Bill”? Should I let people your true name is Dev? [as in Jai Guru Dev]
I just want to be superior to you. Smug’s the name. Superiority’s my game.
I don’t like how it feels to deceive people. And more importantly, I’M NOT GOOD AT IT. People see right through me. And what of that business relation when you get CAUGHT in your “harmless” lie? Did you really need to lie or was it just convenient and easy? Or maybe you lied out of habit? Respect people. Be honest.
And the Bill thing just slipped out. Sorry. I think subconciously I call you Billy when you are being silly and Bill when you are actually discussing an issue seriously (and we all know that we CANNOT take your position in the religion thread SERIOUSLY now, can we???). Anyway, it’s hard to address a mountain in the diminutive.
See the new line under my name.
I won’t mind ceding the throne to you in several years, after I get this faith community rolling!!! Mr. Superiority!
Thank you. It would be an honor and a thrill to work my way up from charter member (have you noticed my sig) to King. I’ve recruited many new members (where do you think all those PMs came from?). My evangelical work is paying off. Appoint me King and I’ll pull a Krishnamurti.
id say my last white lie was saying that my penis is big…
someone please quote that:)
Hey,
you’re only 15, and maybe you’ve got some growing to do…
Yesterday, my parents had to go “run some errands”. In reality, they were going to lease a VW Jetta, and give me the van. Since this would be my first car, they wanted it to be a surprise. So when the crap at the dealership took longer than planned, they called and said the errands were taking longer because of the rain. There’s my most recent encounter with a white lie. Justified? Yes, I think so.
All that said, there wasn’t really a purpose to this post. I just wanted somewhere to brag that I now “possess” (through my parents, of course) a working vehicle.
Me too! It’s got one really phat and juicy wheel!
Justified? Yes, I think not.
Easily avoided? Yes, I think so.
As harper would say, “that’s awesome, dude!”
Your homework assignment is to write a poem about how it feels.
I disagree. I would rather have had them do this…the surprise of walking into the garage and seeing a new car was worth it. I don’t feel betrayed, hurt, offended, or most importantly, deceived. So why would this not be justified, if it made both parties involved happier? They got to surprise me, and I got to be surprised.
Unless, of course, you’d like to be a liberal extremist and tell me what’s best for me. 
Cars are cool, they’re really great.
I hope I do not hit a gate.
I really like my seasoned van
I hope I don’t hit a trash can.
-bows-
Cars are cool, they’re really great.
I hope I do not hit a gate.
I really like my seasoned van
It makes me feel like a wild man!
-bows-