Wheel Walking, Gliding, and the Prehensile Butt

Went out on the roof to fight the wheel wobble for lunch; 10 floors up, and the wind is screeming- but the sun is out, and I’m soking it up. I pumped the tyre above the silly number stamped on the side, raised the seat higher than I typicaly care for, and went for a walk. 4-5 rev’s, and I’m racing off the front; I know what I need to do, but have been too fightened by the prospect.

It’s time to get authoritative with the monkey on the unicycle. I can’t banish the feer, so I have to talk louder than it, destract the monkey. 4 rev’s out, and I’m starting to croutch, then race. A voice booms in my head as I contort, strugling to keep on top. “Sit up, sit back!” Whoa- who the hell was that? Hey! this just got alot easyer! Another rev, the voice is back, and the monkey obeys duetifully, amazed. No struggle, just repetition -shift, shift, controll. What’s that strange feeling? Controll. Controll? Where’s that coming from? Why, right he- Aaahhhhrgg! I’v got a prehensile butt! I’m developing butt dexterity! Get it off me, get it off!! Aaahhhhhhh…

Frightened by my new powers, I stop to practice kick-up’s -but the prehensile butt will not leave me alone, it snags the sadle out of the air like a gloved hand.

Enough of this. I ride backward over some speed bumps to the down ramp. The monkey wants to wheel walk down the ramp. Sure, why not? -you’ve been a good monkey. 3 strokes into the descent, and I discover why wheel walking is a gateway skill to gliding. Foolish monkey.


Chris, c’mon, really. Do you expect us to believe that you unicycled on a roof top? No one does that! It’s crazy!

use the buttocks, luke…