We haven’t been going pout for long, but I am an atheist, whereas Katie, my gf is a Christian and goes to church regularly. I don’t see any problem in this, but while at her church a man (who I have never met, and possibly don’t want to meet) had a go at her for going out with me, as I am not a Christian. Saying we are both looking for different things out of the relationship regarding sex before marriage and the like.
Me and Katie have worked this out and I respect her views on sex before marriage, and don’t want her to do anything she isn’t comfortable with. We are still together.
However I don’t understand how someone who has never met me can basically say I only want to go out with her for sex, as I am not a Christian. This has angered and upset me, I don’t want to be judged this way, why is it seen us unacceptable if we both understand each other have no intention of having a sexual relationship? I just don’t understand how people can think that. Im my view it seems stereotypical that as I am not a Christian I just want sex, and sees it as his responsibility to try and break us up. I mean would anyone else see it as unacceptable, having never met the boy friend, only the girl from church… would you jump to conclusions and try to split the relationship because your religion says so? I feel pretty offended by this to be honest.
Oh and this isn’t just another rant over is Christianity better or atheism, or whether there is a God. If it turns to that I will ignore the thread, like I do with any other thread like that… I’m not here to argue. Oh and id rather no mention on facebook all of those that have me as a friend on there lol, thanks.
Scott.
its a common stereotype that people give to athiests…only thing i see wrong with it is i assume she would want to get married “in the church” … and as far as you believe there is no God, so the marriage as far as God is concerned would be a good topic for debate/discussion (therefore stress, probably moreso for her)
In some Christian circles it is popular to read 2 Corinthians 6:14 as applying specifically to marriage as some type of universal moral law. The man at the church is probably motivated by that.
Nothing at all, if the two of you are good with it. It’s not like you’re thinking of getting married, is it? Technically you are a minor, so I guess your parents can have something to say about it, but you get the general idea.
So what is it you’re looking for in this relationship regarding sex, and how does this guy know about it? Is he just guessing? Is he guessing correctly? Have the two of you discussed these things about your relationship? It’s none of his business in any case. Assume he is being a good Christian by trying to look out for her. Hopefully he’s being nice about it.
Get used to it. And they will also assume you believe in nothing since you don’t believe in the “standard” things. And that you have no concept of moral values, your parents must have really messed up, etc. And if you happen to be black, add in the stuff about watermelon and chicken & stuff. It’s the exact same thing, ignorance.
Part of is is about being 16. Someone very close to my family is going to have a baby in a few months. She wasn’t planning for that to happen and her “boyfriend” definitely wasn’t. We are hoping he will decide to become a man in the next few months, but he still needs to get his GED and get a job too. They’re trying to save you/her from some possible future hassles.
Does this man happen to be a relative of hers? It’s starting to sound that way. Anyway, being a hypocrite runs strong in most of us. The desire for sex does not seem to play religious favorites. If you have the chance, you could point this out to people but don’t expect it to make you any friends.
Though I’m an atheist, I go to church and have been my entire life. This has given me a good understanding of Christianity, obviously. In general, Christians wouldn’t automatically assume this about you just because you are an atheist. It sounds like this guy just doesn’t have a clue, and also that he needs to learn to mind his own business.
You should consider giving him a phone call and discussing this with him.
It’s true, Scott, and very perceptive to recognize that most atheist men, when having sex, are thinking of very deviant things that no christian women never would and never could live with. It’s been proven. Most atheist women can’t live with those deep dark dirty sexual fantasies atheist men have.
No he was completely guessing. I have never met this person before, and katie said the man “had a go at her” for going out with me, so it doesn’t seem all that nice. I already knew that being christian she wouldn’t have sex before marriage, and that didn’t bother me, so for this man t try and breal us up really annoyed me.
Yeah, thats also pretty annoying, that just becuase I amm not christian I am barbaric or something and just don’t understand morals at all. I went to a church of england school and the curiculum there is based almost entirely on christian views and beliefs, so its not like I have no idea. Like you said its just igonrance
As far as I know he isn’t, just a man at her church. They all know each other pretty well there and may have spoken to relatives too but Im not going to make assumptions really.
You are being a fucking pussy. A random lame ass you don’t even know, starts a rumor that he might kick your ass unless you swear you are a celibate,… atheist? , so you do…? ,“oh by the god of fear I won’t fuck her”, like a fucking pussy.
Dude, no one really cares if you are having sex with her or not. The question here is if an asshole asks you if you are fucking your girl, will you swear to him you are not ? Or have a fine time beating the crap put of him.
People should not demand to know stuff that’s none of their fucking business. But if they get in your face about it, you must promise to dump your girl, get beat the hell up, or just kick their ass.
It is a serious mistake to think that anyone respects a celibate declaring woosie.
Those religious folk are not forgiving like hippies, they will beat your ass.
I strongly suggest you never talk at all to anyone about your sex life with this girl. They are castrating you. Castrate the scared atheist boy game. Call them on their bluff. If they are willing to fight you, I would be surprised. Once you get the idea, fights are rare.
Never, ever, let shit heads make you promise you aren’t fucking your girl. Celibacy between the two of you is your business. You will be fucking her in the worst way if she hears you talk about celibacy out of cowardice. No one but you two really care if you are having sex. She will notice if you seemed afraid of being accused of it. She needs a guy that can straighten the ass holes out for her, religious nut jobs, or just ass holes. Not an apologist. There are no surviving atheist apologists.
That man in the church was wrong to make such a prejudiced statement. I think it is irresponsible for two people to have sex before they are completely committed to a lasting relationship, regardless of their religious beliefs.
Have you considered having children if you do decide to get married? If your future wife grew up in a Christian home, she would most likely want to raise the kids to believe in God. Would you be upset to see your wife’s religion having an impact on the children, or would you support it?
Or have a fine time beating the crap put of him.
Once you get the idea, fights are rare.