I don’t think you should be alienated by what Cathwood wrote. I am sure she had no intention to offend, but knew she was articulating a thought that might go against the grain for many readers.
In the UK, we can buy car window stickers that say “Wear your poppy with pride”. Although I have never got round to doing it, I have often considered buying one and carefully cutting away the “with pride” - not out of disrespect for the dead, but because I don’t like the half-spoken assumption that there is glory in war.
Monuments in this country often say “Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori”: loosely, “It is sweet and proper to die for your country.” Also, “For those who gave their lives” or “Those who lost their lives”. Lose your life? How careless! I hate that expression. They died, or were killed, usually horribly, and most of them had no idea why.
Armistice Day dates from WW1, and that was not a clear cut goodies/baddies war with heroes dying for democracy as they fought the forces of evil. It was just another stupid European war between political dynasties, and the men who died (bravely or otherwise) were caught up in that - victims of time and place. The difference between WW1 and any randomly selected medieval war was one of scale, not of principle.
There were examples of heroism on both sides, but these were men fighting for the next man in the line, hoping he would fight for them. Soldiers fight for their mates. Few people in the trenches thought they were up to their waists in mud and sewage, starving to defend democracy - whatever they had thought when they volunteered.
WW2 was rather different. I think most of us would agree that this was, simply speaking, a war of democracy and freedom against tyranical oppression. That doesn’t mean that the Germans, Italians or Japanese who fought and died were all evil - many, probably most, were good people, but victims of their time and place. Nevertheless, I accept there is justification for “pride” at the heroism of the Allied forces who made huge sacrifices to defend our freedom. Certainly we owe them gratitude and respect.
War is sometimes “necessary” - at least for the side that is subject to an unprovoked attack or threat. It is never good, and never glorious. The belief in the glory of military heroism is part of what makes war possible. If all people were truly civilised, there would be no wars. Politicians could not stir up a desire for war without the background mythology of military glory.
I am from one of the luckiest generations ever in history. I have reached 42 years old without ever having to join the army or fight in a war.
My great uncle Leslie died on a bombing raid over Germany. Recently, the one surviving crew member (the others were burned to death in the plane) contacted our family, and I was privileged to see letters and photographs of a man whom my grandmother (his sister) mourned for 30 years until she died.
War isn’t glorious. Soldiers are sometimes heroic.
Put the politicians in the front line and then see how carefully they read intelligence dossiers.