Unicyclist Blog thread

Lots of time I think I have something I’d like to write, but don’t think it’s worthy of it’s own thread, nor does it fit an existing topic. This tread idea is a general place for random unicycle topics which may not be new thread worthy, or not fit into an existing thread. Any little thing uni can go here.

It’s raining today so I’ll start with a long entry, the idea that you don’t freely ride a unicycle. The unicycle is a cunning device, you are owned.

Remember learning to ride? That is when the unicycle was training you. The uni mocked your every attempt, toying with you. At first dared you to try, and then laughed at your falls, quietly it revels in your sprained ankles and scraped hands. Ah, but the brilliants of the uni, it gives in ever so a little, enough to let you think that you’ve made progress. At first it’s riding a single turn of the wheel, just enough to allow you think you’ve made progress. Already the uni is tightening it’s grip and taking control. It knows you’ll be back.

You’ve made progress, now the uni holds back, you struggle to capture previous accomplishments, and become torn to regain control. True to form the uni plays the waiting game, until nearly your final attempt to allow any chance of progress. Relentlessly, the uni randomly teases, sometimes allowing great progress for a session, then stealing back the progress, frustrating the individual but always calculating to entice the unicyclist back.

For every skill gained the uni dangles a reward of another challenge, if you can go 5ft, can you mount, can you hop, can you hop up something, down, and on. Then, can you do those things new ways, faster, slower, further, higher, backwards, longer, it doesn’t end. Now the uni has you, you think it’s for exercise or pleasure, but in reality you’ve been conditioned. You ride at the will of the uni.