Unicyclist as menacing presence.

Off-topic
1

Yesterday I was riding my 29er thru a neighborhood under construction. A truck met me and passed me. I rode on. Shortly after, an SUV meets me and slows to a stop.

Female driver says “I hate to ask you to do this, but…”

Twice before I’ve been “asked” to leave construction zones for my own safety. So, I figure that’s where she was headed with this.

“…would you come with me back to that lot [the one with the truck] so I can give them a piece of my mind? Those guys have been speeding thru my neighborhood for weeks. I’ve got a 2 yr old and a 4 yr old who could easily get run over, etc, etc…”

A southern gentleman simply cannot refuse a request from a lady in distress.

So, she drives back there and I uni back there. They’re smiling as I ride up. She hops out and confronts the 4 big sweaty burly guys unloading hardwood flooring from this truck. She verbally tears into the driver. The foreman was up on the truck but he just stuttered a little. At one point, she raised her voice all the way to an ear shattering, reach the back row kind of yell. I was standing 6-8 feet behind her, looking at the back of her head and the faces of the four neckless meatheads who occationally shifted their gaze from this irate woman to the putz with the unicycle. I wanted to laugh the whole time because it was so absurd. But I kept my “hey guys, this is serious” look on my face. Grrrr.

She got it all out and got the company name off the truck’s door. She was vibrating as she got back in her SUV and we rode off, her in a $50,000 SUV and me on my 29er.

“Thank you for doing that” she said.

“Hey, even the biggest, meanest guy I know, riding a unicycle, is not as scary as you were back there,” I said. “Thank goodness you were there to protect ME!”

She was right tho. You shouldn’t drive fast thru a neighborhood full of kids.

I do what I can to advance the image of unicycling to that of Xtreme Sport. But I must say that I felt a little silly back there. And as I rode up the street, with those meatheads staring a hole in my back, I couldn’t get that damn tune out of my head:

Deet dee deedle deedle deet dee dee dee…
:smiley:

2

I’ve just imagined that story, and it’s quite a funyy one. I might not have been able to keep a straight face behind the ranting woman. But it’s cool that you went along with it anyways. Good job…

3

Why can’t she keep the two year old and four year old out of the street? Maybe her SUV uses up her entire yard and they have no place else to play. The irrational SUV driver sounds WAY more dangerous that the people doing real work.

4

What’s really got her feathers ruffled is that up until 6 months ago she lived at the end of a dead end street. Now they’re building an additional cove off the end of her street. There used to be absolutley NO traffic. She hasn’t adjusted yet. Once the $900,000 homes sell, there will be a different kind of traffic. Instead of speeding dump trucks there will be speeding Beemers.

But that’s not the point of the story.

5

Harper:
As a mother of a 6 year old, I might suggest that the most dangerous entities on the scene were actually the children…
YIKES!

Blake

6

Great story. Very funny. Did you have a helmet and glasses on? We always look so frightening in those.

I’d think you would be able to go back to the construction site and get some free lumber or something just by promising that the banshee mom won’t return if they give it to you. Maybe the’ll even build you some ramps, or something.

You could even attempt to jump the great wall. (Oh wait… Sorry, wrong thread.)

7

Re: Unicyclist as menacing presence.

Rhet, you are indeed a gentleman … Deet dee deedle deedle deet dee dee dee…

8

Loved the story, Mud. Made me laugh.

B

9

Just to leave a lasting impression:

Right after they pour the new sidewalks, be sure to ride down them before the cement dries. Permanent uni-trax!

10

you are a gentlmen, but as a unicyclist…you got used buddy.

11

Maybe so, but I would have done the same thing to see her rip into the tough construction workers. Great story, one that you’ll never forget.

I also think that you should go back to the construction site. You can blackmail the workers. Tell them you’re going to leak it to the press how they were humiliated by this sweet lady in an SUV. That should get you enough hardwood to completely redo all of the floors in your house. Probably get free install also. :smiley:

12

O my. The lady sounds really funny. Wish I could have seen the ‘neckless meatheads’ faces. Probably would have been priceless.

13

I rode past that house again. I a couple of the guys were cleaning debris out of the garage. I puffed up my chest so as to look huge and frightening. And this time I was on the Coker.

One dude whistled (not the wolf call whistle, but the “hey buddy” whistle) and raised one of the fingers on his right hand. His thumb.

I tipped my hat and cruised up the hill.

14

If they saw your Crank Tightening method, they would be afraid, very afraid.:wink: