As is well documented I would never use an emoticon. I would rather unleash a pestilence upon Israel. In fact, I erase them from quoted text as you can see. Why not just say, “I’m joking,” " I’m sad," or “I’m an idiot” rather than counting on someone correctly interpreting some silly little face?
The rest of them will always make up 99.8% (99.99999998%, actually) and they will never know anything. Geezers rule.