Unicycle Excuses

The “Official” Unicycle Excuses

I was digging through some old unicycle documents looking for my top 10 unicycle
wipe out list when I came upon this. These are all cheesy excuses one would use
at a NUM (National Unicycle Meet) for both artistic riding and racing. Feal free
to use one (or all) of the excuses on your friends when a trick or performance
doesn’t go as planned. Also make sure you memorize a few for the next NUM, they
can come in handy. Feal free to add any excuses that you have used or would use
(or should have used).

My spokes were too loose My tire was only a year old and I thought I could get a
few more months out of it. My seat post was loose My seat was crooked Someone
changed the seat height I bought new shoes yesterday I forgot to double tie my
shoe laces The official in the neon outfit distracted me I started on the wrong
foot Someone dripped sweat on the floor The floor was dusty I know this costume
was too tight My mother didn’t dress me right My father had my gloves I was
doing some last minute practice and missed my event Three people before me used
the same music I thought my partner had our music tape My boom box ate my only
tape How can I smile when I have to ride with him I never thought I could get
hurt on a tricycle [Dale Granberry (level 7 rider) broke his leg on a tricycle
hours before competition] The starting post was wobbly Someone spilled pop on my
juggling balls I couldn’t sleep last night I shouldn’t have stayed up till 3
A.M. The judge didn’t see me cross the finish line I thought I had time to go to
the bathroom I taught him that trick The custodian didn’t sweep the floor My
shoes were wet My pedals were wet The floor was wet I hit a grease slick I
thought I could ride through the potholes My foot hit the crank My mom said so
The food made me sick I didn’t practice like I should have

Andy B. Cotter CAE UW - Madison cotter@cae.wisc.edu Application Support

there was an abnormality of graviation;)

(does it really need 17 years to find a new one :thinking: )

Yes. Advances in physics have only recently prompted theories of an Excuse for Everything.

i wish i had started unicycling in 1993

Haha, you wouldn’t get away with the tape ones nowadays.

I don’t know when Andy Cotter started unicycling, but I believe he attended his first convention in 1988: Unicon IV.

Then came the excuses. :slight_smile:

Welcome back Cotter’s thread. :stuck_out_tongue:

Now the clock is ticking, while I wait for someone to question why that’s funny…

Wow, this thread is so old the USA Conventions were still called NUM (National Unicycle Meet)! In 1995 we went to NUC (National Unicycle Convention, or what hurts men in a bad jump mount). In 2001 NUC was held in Canada, but it wasn’t until 2002 that the name was changed to NAUCC. This year we’re calling it U Games. Next year we’ll find out if that less-ugly name will stick.

NAUCC sounds really good, way better than U games.

I’m not a fan of U games either, sounds too much like a play on X games. I think if you want a general non-descriptive name like that then “nationals” sounds better (even though it’s North American and to anyone outside the continent it doesn’t work, but that’s when you call it NAUCC).

“I would have won if the event had a nicer name.”

I like NAUCC haha.

Yeah I prefer NAUCC to “U Games” also, though when I’m talking to people I usually just say nationals because it’s easier to say than NAUCC.

“I would have done better but the thread I got my excuse from was too old.”

I got too distracted sabotaging the other riders unicycles

Ha ha, I like that!

“I would have ridden more than 50 m in the 100 m race, but a sudden strong Wellington wind pushed me of the track.” (This is unfortunately true!!! :o)

Best regards,