Unicycle footballers take game up a notch
Andrea Lorenz
20 July 2008
Austin American-Statesman
© 2008 Austin American Statesman. Provided by ProQuest Information and Learning. All Rights Reserved.
Jay Janner photos AMERICAN-STATESMAN
Michael Rowe of the Unicychos tries to pick up some yards against the Hot Dogs during the league’s first Stupor Bowl, on July 13 in San Marcos.
Unicychos member Alan Barnes, left, looks for a receiver during the Stupor Bowl in San Marcos. The Unicycle Football League, which started four months ago and has three teams, concluded its season July 13 with a championship game. The Hot Dogs won in overtime.
Jay Janner photos AMERICAN-STATESMAN
Marcus Garland, left, of the Hot Dogs knocks down Ray Decoux of the Unicychos. The players use flags instead of tackling, but that doesn’t always prevent pileups and bruises.
Jason Polasek dunks teammate Marcus Garland after the championship victory. The league is thinking of adding cheerleaders.
Paul Malachi is decked out in his team’s colors. Many of the players didn’t ride unicycles before joining the league.
SAN MARCOS - It was hot - really hot - as the Hot Dogs cinched the championship for the first unicycle football Stupor Bowl .
Opposing team Unicychos blamed last week’s loss on the brutal heat, the quarterback’s dislocated shoulder and unwritten rules. They aren’t “completely set in stone,” said Unicycho player Pop.a.wheelie , who is known to family members and friends as William “Grant” Love.
The Unicycle Football League started with a handful of people four months ago and has grown to three teams that play only in San Marcos. The best two played July 13 in the championship game, dubbed the Stupor Bowl. The game was complete with the national anthem and a halftime show by a local one-man band .
The Hot Dogs were up 12 points at halftime, and although the Unicychos bounced back with a couple of touchdowns, league founder Marcus Garland fittingly scored the Hot Dogs’ winning touchdown during overtime.
A juggler for 20 years, Garland, who is known on the field as Larry Gunn, said he came up with the idea for the league years ago. “I dismissed the idea immediately,” he said. He remembers thinking, “Where am I going to find all these unicycle riders?”
Turns out, he didn’t need to find unicyclists. Instead, most of the league’s loyal players learned to unicycle specifically to join the league. Love taught himself to ride a one-wheeler in about 16 hours.
The rules are similar to regular football, with a few exceptions. There are about half as many players on the “field” as in regular football . Players pull flags from opposing team members rather than tackle them, but unicycle football is by no means a noncontact sport. Collisions are frequent, and some players spend as much time on the ground as on the wheel. A referee broke up at least one pile of players trying to grasp the ball amid their tangled unicycles.
Instead of a coin toss to start the championship game, there was a one-wheeled jousting contest that lasted less than two seconds because one of the players was knocked down by a boxing glove attached to the end of a broom handle.
After touchdowns, the scoring team tried for an extra point through uni-sumo, in which two players try to shove each other out of a chalk circle or knock the other off balance.
Garland has high hopes for the league, which plays in the parking lot of an abandoned gas station off the San Marcos square. He said he would like to create teams in Austin and elsewhere and travel to away games. Although all the current players are men, women are welcome, Garland said.
There’s talk of a cheerleading team, dubbed the “Unibwroadz” on the league’s online forum. And they even have loyal fans.
“Team Mom” Dottie Barnes watched her son, Corporal Punishment , also known as Alan , play quarterback for the Unicychos during the championship game.
“The kid was never in Little League,” she said of her 30-year- old son. “I wait until he’s 30, and (I’m) team mom.”
Barnes said she doesn’t fret when her son falls from his bike.
“Most of the time, you fall forward on your feet or you fall backward on your feet.”
Only a couple of players wore helmets, knee or elbow pads last week. Love said players are looking for second-hand football pads to help prevent some injuries, such as the “torn up” hip he got from the championship game.
Despite the bruises, and his team’s loss, Love said he wouldn’t miss next season.
“Being a part of something, or a group or a team or whatever, it’s really awesome,” Love said. “It feels really good.”
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Want to play?
The Unicycle Football League in San Marcos is looking for teams and players for next season, which starts in the fall . Knowing how to unicycle or play football is not required. For more information, visit www.unicyclefootball.com. Want to play?
The Unicycle Football League in San Marcos is looking for teams and players for next season, which starts in the fall. Knowing how to ride a unicycle or play football is not required. For more
information, go to www.


