Uni-Pedal-Demon (AKA: UPD)

Uni-Pedal-Demon (AKA: UPD)

A middling demon, not a high Demon nor a low demon (imp of the perverse), this demon has one of anything – one eye, one nostril, one leg, one arm, one tusk, one arm, one leg, one finger and one toe (you might think he has two tentacles, but they have bones, so they’re tentacly not technicals :stuck_out_tongue: and one, most definitely, has a palm and a finger – you know which finger it is. :astonished: )

This demon is particularly angry, :angry: as he feels that he should be the demon in charge of all uni-wheeled vehicles, but as he has only one buttock so he can’t sit on a unicycle seat and therefore can’t master a unicycle (although, if he could he’d obviously be good at one-footed seat-out and hopping!). His singular anger (could he have any other kind?) is the reason there are unexplained UPDs (please note his alias {and you thought it meant unplanned dismount - so gullible}): he waits until after a unicyclist has cleared, with no problems at all, a particularly difficult section and then reaches up and grabs – just for an instant, mind you – the tire (he’s never tyred :roll_eyes: ) which, of course, causes the rider to curse the UPD. :angry:

Thus is explain-ed those UPDs on perfectly flat, smooth places with nary a stick or stone around. :roll_eyes:

3 months ago, I would have thought this was a little… peculiar… until I learned that medieval church scribes actually attributed errors in copying texts to a patron demon, named Titivillus (Actually spelling may vary).

So… If there’s a patron demon of UPD’s, is there a patron saint of “I managed to keep my balance in an impossible riding situation”? :smiley:

St. Kris Holm

yeah he must of performed at least three miricals

It’s Kris Holm, he doesn’t have to perform miracles

Sorry, He doesn’t currently qualify, to qualify for sainthood you have to be, also, dead. And, while He does perform miracles ( :sunglasses: every time He rides,) He ain’t dead, yet!:slight_smile:

Please to notice the caps. :roll_eyes:


In medieval times it was proposed that the reason rifleing causd bullets to fly more accurately was because the spin imparted made it difficult for airborn demons to grasp the projetile and force it out of it’s intended path.

All this time I thought UPD was Up-side-down---------See avatar.

well atleast he has a cool sport to tamper with

At school we’ve been doing Kris Holmisms a la Chuck Norris:

“Kris Holm’s sperm can withstand 3000PSI.”

“Kris Holm was once kicked in the groin by a horse. The horse had to be shot, due to its broken leg.”