Happy New Year !
THE LEGEND - true story/ adapted
A middle age gentleman was travelling in a train full of people .
He was dressed in a clean-cut military type uniform, his face showing a terrible scar.
His steely eyes were cutting through the moving humans when a young man stoped just in front of him; rings in his nose, ears, all the fingers, dressed in many coloured, dirty, smelly clothes, a thick smoke coming out of his mouth.
Near his body was the Ultimax XXX Unicycle.
The soldier/ officer looked at the young sports junkie and had a daytime dream: the young dirty man/ piece of nothing holding with one hand his Ultimax XXX Geared Unicycle and with the other hand the hand of the soldier’s beloved daughter, booby Bombolina.
I want to marry your daughter, said the young unicyclist loser to her father/ soldier/ officer.
One moment, replied the old man, let me bring my glasses to see you better; once he was inside, he called Special Occasions Group, to deliver at his house a 10 tonnes block of bricks, job done in an instant, also downloading it on the little unicyclist’s head.
Fantastic error: the Ultimax XXX Geared Unicycle, owned by the little unicyclist/ future son in law was 10 tonnes block of bricks proof.
By visualising all these things, a smile flourished on the officer’s face, even his terrible scar was smiling, a frightening picture, reflections of deep, intense, extraordinary life experiences.
What the hell are you starring at me and smile, old man, you have never seen modern/ colourful/ special designed/ customised dresses in your life ? asked the smelly/ junky unicyclist.
Young unicyclist man, I believe that you are about 18- 20 years old.
In those times, when you came on this planet, I was a Freedom Fighter/ mercenary, going places all over the world to fight the rebels, perpetual enemies who hate us and our way of life because we are free, so my missions were to teach/ implement democracy, how to sell away their children, parents, pedofile+ing, poof+ ing, Nation/ Country, culture, traditions, spirituality, customs, resources, dobbing each other, etc, and get a good price on the free market, it is called evolution, revolution, dilution, delusion, progress, total/ absolute freedom.
One night, in the jungle, a very powerful feeling/ noble sentiment gave me a state of unbearable stress; everywhere I was going to fight the universal enemies, I had with me a small cage carrying my best/ favourite/ only/ real friend, my mascot, a colourful parrot.
He learnt very fast, by himself, how to ride a Mini - Ultimax XXX Geared Unicycle.
Then, the unthinkable happened: imagining/ visualising that my wife/ my girlfriend were with me in the jungle, although in those time I did not have a wife or girlfriend, I lost my concentration/ determination as Freedom Fighter and had an intense, very intimate encounter/ my biggest sin of my life with my best/ the only/ true/ friend/ the parrot, who saved my life many times when the anti-freedom warriors were approaching riding on their ordinary/ non-geared unicycles.
Young unicyclist loser/ piece of crap, I kept my big secret with me all these years; looking at how you are dressed, like a clown- parrot unicyclist, for a moment I believed that you are my forgotten son, now a grown unicyclist man.
If that is the case, I welcome you my son, if not, would you like to meet my beloved daughter, booby Bombolina, I promised her to find a nice gentleman, the future of the Nation, World, to respect/ love/ feed her.
She is 16 now, 130 kg and 156 cm tall, ideal match for you, 190 cm tall.
Sorry, old man, but I am engaged, said the young unicyclist good-for-nothing/ one unicycle-one-vote/ one future- no future, the new, modern man; he touched his Ultimate XXX Geared Unicycle so tenderly that the old mercenary understood everything.
By the time the young unicyclist and nothing else now or in the future disappeared around the corner, the HERO/ lonely wolf/ mercenary/ Freedom Fighter was a broken man: he just missed a chance in a life time, the perfect husband for Bombolina.
He bought from the nearest unicycle shop the ULTIMATE XXX GEARED UNICYCLE - THE LEGEND and rode away at high speed for the rest of his life, the unicycle dealer did not tell him how to stop.
The HERO was seen ghosting on his THE LEGEND unicycle on William Street / Sydney, at the intersection with Bourke Street, where his beloved Bombolina was working hard, not far away from Kings Cross/ how much?; the HERO felt proud, his daughter had a full time job, life had a meaning in the new world.
Also riding the waves in Bondi/ the geared system could be used as a paddle wheel drive system for small human powered boats.
After a wile, sick and tired to live in the perfect/ absolutely free society where every human being, objects/ thoughts had identical rights, due to the Politically Correct Industry, the HERO has done the best/ greatest thing in his life: he died/ as a Hero/ Freedom Fighter forever.
When the experts/ doctors removed his micro-chips from his brain, sexual reproductive organ, shoulders, etc, they notice a strange phenomenon: although the HERO was dead, he become more human now, than he was alive.
They had to remove the micro-chips from his Ultimate XXX Geared Unicycle The Legend.
All these things/ rumours grew and grew and grew, inevitably becoming reality/ religion.
Now, the new generations of Freedom Fighters were fighting in the name of THE HERO and his ULTIMATE XXX GEARED UNICYCLE - THE LEGEND.
This is a true story, if some characters look familiar, then…
Good luck !
