"The unicycle is such a visible statement of separation and difference" -- Jack Straw

“The unicycle is such a visible statement of separation and difference” said Jack Straw, the former foreign secretary of England.

He struck a chord with Brits, who in a recent poll: 22% believe that unicyclists have not done enough to fit into mainstream society.

The President of the British Unicycling Society said: "The unicycle is a symptom and not a cause of rising tensions between unicyclists and others, including bicyclists.

He continued: The people who choose to go out in public with their unicycle are “rebelling against what their parents tell them to do, they’re trying to differentiate themselves.”

Frustrated by unemployment rates, put off by stereotyping in the news media, many of the alienated have turned to unicycling to express a contrarian identity.

Prominent British psychologist Gregory Harper warned that unicyclists are proseltyzing energetically. They invite non-riders to their meetings and offer to let them use unicycles at no charge for the duration of the meeting. Riders offer encouragement to non-riders, and indoctrinate them in riding technique and culture. Once in the cult, members are encouraged to even more deviant forms. They often go on “retreats” in the mountains, where they are encouraged to do MUni, and to ride with one or even NO FEET!

In response to Harper’s statements, John Drummond, one of the people who has become a millionaire by cashing in on this deviant cult (and owner of Unicycle.com), angrily shouted that the unicyclists are not to blame. Drummond said what is needed is an ambitious program to address the core grievances of Britains unicycllists.

:smiley:

All this goes to show that the unicyclists’ attempts to entertain, engage, and find approval with the public is nothing more than a thinly veiled plot to legitimize their deviant sport.

The Sun newspaper has demanded that unicyclists be ‘named and shamed’ and that there addresses are circulated locally.

Is this for real?

Of course it’s for real. It’s on the web.

I’m trying to fit in, Billy, but even saying authority leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Jack Straw was a labour party boy…you expect him to whine.

The Sun is having topless unibabes on page three all next week :wink:

I’ll get a copy!

Wow! The authority on cults, chiming in here in our community!

Does that mean you are coming to accept us, instead of warning parents against our indoctrination techniques??

maybe we can even get you to unicycle.

Remember: When they came for the unicyclists, I said nothing, because I was not a unicyclists. And when they came for me, there was no one left to speak out…

I am only an authority on the poll cult, the cell phone cult, and the emoticon cult. And I am the one and only undisputed authority on those. Some will feign dispute but they know in their hearts that I am the one, true authority.

Is Jack Straw the straw of Straw Dogs?

And you have a sense of humor.

That means youy’re prolly one of us, at heart.

You don’t have to google Jack, and there’s no straw man here either.

they are really trying to think up thing to make themselves look busy arent they

Woooosh.

You’re so quick on your Coker I can hear air whizzing by as you pass me.

OK.

Well.

I thought that might be a bit controversial, but I was wrong. [never let it be said that BTM cannot admit when he’s wrong.]

I’m surprised we all agree with it.

Now that you’ve responded like that, though, I guess it should have been obvious to me.

I never knew british people were so wacky

The anti-unicycle campaign heats up!!!

speaking out against the unicycle

http://www.time.com/time/europe/maga...543877,00.html

From the Magazine
Nothing To Hide
It’s not illiberal for liberal societies to disapprove of the unicycle

By YASMIN ALIBHAI-BROWN

Sunday, Oct. 08, 2006
For years, I have vehemently opposed the politics of Jack Straw, a leading member of Tony Blair’s Cabinet and former British Foreign Secretary. He has backed the disastrous war in Iraq and domestic laws that curtail civil liberties. But last week, in his local newspaper, Straw came out against the unicycle. The unicycle, Straw wrote, makes him uneasy. I now find myself in the unusual position of agreeing with Straw’s every word.

Feminists have denounced Straw’s approach as unacceptably proscriptive, and reactionaries say it is unicycle-phobic. But it is time to speak out against this objectionable vehicle and face down the obscurantists who endlessly bait and intimidate the state by making demands that violate its fundamental principles.

I would not propose that people should be stopped from riding what they choose, although, to be sure, there are practical problems with the unicycle. But the most important reason for opposing the unicycle is one of principle. So long as it ensures genuinely equal standards for all, a liberal nation has no obligation to extend its liberalism to condone the most illiberal practices. State institutions as well as private companies should have the right to stipulate that a person riding a unicycle need not be served.

Well done, Billy. You’re a proper satirist.

sshhh

bugman, check your PMs.