The Rules!

Disclaimer: This is for laughs

I think there should be a unicyclists equivalent of:

As always, unicyclists are immune to feeling silly, so I imagine some of these rules could apply to us. But that’s just no fun, we need to make our own original ones. Any ideas?

Some of these are very witty,

Coming from mtb and having hated road bike riding (personally for me wasnt going to a good venture. Decided to sell the sworks tarmac for a couple more KH Uni’s. Much better!) these ‘rules’ are pretty funny.

We so need a General Unicycling Rules list 4 sure!!!

Its there one already though im thinking :thinking:

Yeah, a set of rulez would be good, but they can’t be nearly as pretentious and self-aggrandizing as those. :roll_eyes: Even as a sometime roadie, I find those to be pretty full of… stuff…

Lol! That was awesome, thanks for the link.

I’m down for our own set of rules, that’d be tight. Too bad I can’t think of any much different from those… :roll_eyes:

rule 1. must like unicycles…

I think a lot of the road bike riders around here have memorized these and take them seriously. There are a lot of pretentious egotists among them.

Ok I’ll play…

Rule #2: Balance the “heck” up (or BTFU for the R-rated version)
Rule #3: it doesn’t get easier, you just UPD less.

#4 perfect number of unicycles is n+1
#5 must always be look out for new riders

#6 When your parents say that you have too many unis remind them that if you had bikes they’d take up twice as much space.

#7: Free your mind and UPD will follow; CONCENTRATE!!!

Rule #8 is he original rule #5 as quoted in my sig line: Harden the f*ck up.

Addition to rule #4: Perfect number of unicycles is s-1 where s represents the number of unicycles that your spouse will allow before terminating the marriage.

Rule #9: There is no perfect wheel size, therefore you must aquire at least one of each.

Rule #10: If you haven’t flattened your seat yet, you’re living in the stone age. (seriously, get to it)

Rule #11(and I don’t remember whose sig line it is but it’s fantastic): It’s called a Muni ride, not a Muni walk.

That’s a fun list (for roadies), but would be hard to duplicate it in a similar way for unicycles, since we aren’t so cliquish. Most of us ride two or more styles, and aren’t very snobbish about the others. Except for hockey players (just kidding). :stuck_out_tongue:

I’m sure there are some pretty funny and/or inspirational things we could come up with.

Rule #12
It does not matter how good you are or big you think it is, If you can, RIDE.
If you can not RIDE for reasoning other than tempory phisical impairment (mainly due to epic UPD either from excessive speed on road or stupidity while doing the Muni)
Either A) refer to rule number #8 or
B) read #7 because it sounds like you missed it.

Rule #13

If at first you dont succeed… refer to rule #8 and try again

I didn’t get Rule 8. Is it exactly as his sig? “Never let the things you love become frustrating.”


Rule 14: Ride everywhere and never just ride anywhere. If you can ride where you are going within a hour, do it, and if you can do a trick 50-75% of the time do it along the way.

No, it’s the link I sigged, I.E. Rule #5 of the original rules list: Harden the f*ck up.

Rule #15 Teach your wife to unicycle and you will be able to buy all the unicycles you want. Going to buy my wife a kh trials uni for xmas:D


Rule #16: Start where you are. Ride what you have. Do what you can.

(I saw that on a church sign yesterday, except I subbed “ride” for “use”.)

I thought about adapting their Rule #10: “It never gets easier, you just go faster.” I wondered if “you can just do more” might suit unicycling better. But I’ll leave it to those who aren’t raw newbies to make that judgement.

I’ve already used the Greg Henderson quote below that rule on this site: “Training is like fighting with a gorilla. You don’t stop when you’re tired. You stop when the gorilla is tired.” And “sur la plaque, f**tards” is my new battle cry.

Sounds good to me. Just a slight adjustment.

Rule #17: It never gets easier, you can just do more, for longer.

I like the gorilla one but I can’t think how to apply it.