The equivalence of "You lost a wheel"

I was speaking with my father about hearing stupid comments such as “You lost a wheel.” He replies with, “How do you think I feel when I’m out at the driving range golfing and someone yells FOUR!”.
What are some other sports that have similiar problems?

Re: The equivalence of “You lost a wheel”

I’m a Morris dancer. (For those who don’t know, it’s a form of English traditional dance. The dancers wear bells as part of their costume.)

We get, “Which one’s Morris?” “Hello Morris!” and so on.
We also get, “Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way…” etc.
If you go to the gents’ toilet, someone always asks, “Have you come in for a tinkle?”

I used to ride tandem. Coomon comments were, “The one on the back’s not pedalling”, “She’s not pedalling,” and variants of this.
Also (a reference to an advertisement on TV for PG Tips tea) people used to shout, “Can you ride tandem?” (Years after the advert was no longer broadcast.)

I used to scuba dive. People used to ask, “Seen any sharks, Mister?”

I’ve recently taken up fencing. I’ve already lost count of people who have asked if I can put a fence up for them, or who have told me they prefer post and rail/Waveney edge/hedges, etc.

it realy just goes to show how unindividual people are dosent it?

they all think they thought it up.

i’ve taken to retorting with a disinterested “no”
i hope it makes them realise just how bored i am with hearing the same words over and over.

perhaps thats many unicyclists cant stop going out and buying more unicycles,
we’ve had it subconciously drilled into us that we need an extra wheel.

as for equivelants:

contact juggling:
david bowie in labrynth.

endless balls jokes.

houdini did it this:blah blah (always inaccurate of course)

my friend practices card flourishes a lot in cafes, he got so fed up with :“do us a trick” that he started using blank faced decks.

Mikeful, is fencing fun? Were should I go to get started? Is expensive to start, because I’m really short on any extra cash?


I’m not a fencer, but happened, while sick in bed last week and watching some sports channel, to see a program on the popularity of fencing. It is apparently increasingly popular in the U.S., many clubs are popping up all over and a starter kit was quoted as costing about $100 (USD).

Here’s a listing of fencing clubs in Canada:

Good luck,
Raphael Lasar
Matawan, NJ

Bike trials!

Back in the day i rode a Monty frame that had no seattube, thereofr it had no seat.
not once did i ride without hearing, “where’s your seat?”
since then i’ve been riding brisas which have a seat tube. i use a small ground down plastic seat from a mini bmxer. alot of trials guys use this style of seat.
not once yet have i riden without being asked why my seat is so small. still can’t think of a good comeback…

i’ve also been asked numerous times why i was riding my little sisters mountain bike. i usually replied to comments such as these by finding somthing closeby and three sitying off of it. usually shuts people up.

Off topic but…

Fencing is excellent fun, but takes a lot of application.

It’s such fun that after 3 weeks, I bought all the gear. It cost about the same as a good unicycle.

You can join a club and borrow the gear, or go to a school and rent it. First thing to buy is a glove (price of a big pizza and a couple of drinks) then later a mask, foil (sword) then jacket etc.

To fence well, you need to practise practise practise, sometimes at home in front of a mirror, sometimes at the club with other students. Read about it. Try it. The general impression I get is it takes a few months of hard graft to get any good. It is fantastically good exercise, and feels good to do.

Go to and search for all the words, fencing, foil, epee, and the anme of your town or area. If you don’t put in foil and epee, you will get lots of links for fencing contractors. Seriously.

Contact me direct for more guidance if you like.

Wow, thanks a lot. I read a little bit about the history and saw the prices for the different kinds of fencing. I didn’t realise that they practiced so often, I thought it would be more like a 1 or 2 a week event, but 4 to 5 times. And the money, When I get a job and satisfy my unicycling NEEDS I’ll be sure to follow up on this. Sorry for any inconveniences and off tracking your thread. One sport that has been mocked liked unicycling is wrestling, not WWE, but actual high school and olympic wrestling. I have everybody tell me “do you like rolling around on the ground with sweaty men wearing spandecs” or “you like feeling up other men” anything on the lines of homosexual jokes I’ve heard. I just chanlenge them to a match. Being 125 lbs and 5’ 10" everybody says that they can slotter me, but when we wrestle I smoke them. So just stop in front of them do a really cool trick and then get off and let them have a go at it. I’m going to continue to write just so that I can fill the entire space available here. Oh yeah if you ever try the wrestling singlet on it’s the most supportive and comfortable thing you’ve ever worn.


UNI use to make seats that you refer to.

Thats an easy one…
“To make room for my huge balls” you can follow this up by doing a good gap or hoping up onto the persons car who said the comment, make sure to use that bash ring to its fullest extent.

I really have to learn some basic bike trials stuff…

Bet a fencing-workshop at a uni-meet would be apriciated,
especially if a uni-version is scheduled.

I was just thinking that unicycle fencing sounds fun. Anyone fancy it at BUC10?

I remember the tournament at the BUC at Glouchester.
Okay not the same, but… That was good fun!
(and safe!)

MUni is fencing upside down. I will expand on this when I have more time.

Anything approaching real fencing on a unicycle would be impossible on an ad hoc basis at a convention. The basic weapon control takes every bit as long to learn as basic unicycle control. Combining the skills in anything like a meaningful way would take months.

Also, fencing is a dangerous sport unless all the safety equipment is used. I broke a foil in a lesson a week or two back. You only have to see it happen once to realise they aren’t toys.

On a less po-faced basis, though, I can see a bit of ‘knock about’ with plastic toy swords or padded LRP equipment would be fun. I’d certainly go for that.

Since the first time I rode a unicycle, in about 1987, I have wanted to joust. The opportunity has never arisen. Jousting could be done with a reasonable degree of safety, using padded lances, and simple shields. Helmets would be compulsory, and possibly eye protection. Now and again, a mate and I knock about with brooms, but he’s not good enough to joust properly.