The Darwin Award Thread

I looked for an appropriate thread to attach this story to but couldn’t find any. Several threads mention Darwin Awards but nothing dedicated to them.

If you see a story about nominees or “also rans” for a Darwin, post them here.

I’ll start with one who almost qualified for an award, but no trophy in this case. He doesn’t live that far from Tyler. Maybe next time:

Don’t shoot your nuts with a shotgun, even if they are just lug nuts:

SOUTHWORTH, Wash. (AP) — A man trying to loosen a stubborn lug nut blasted the wheel with a 12-gauge shotgun, injuring himself badly in both legs, sheriff’s deputies said.

The 66-year-old man had been repairing a Lincoln Continental for two weeks at his home northwest of Southworth, about 10 miles southwest of Seattle, and had gotten all but one of the lug nuts off the right rear wheel by Saturday afternoon, Kitsap County Deputy Scott Wilson said.

“He’s bound and determined to get that lug nut off,” Wilson said.

From about arm’s length, the man fired the shotgun at the wheel and was “peppered” in both legs with buckshot and debris, with some injuries as high as his chin, according to a sheriff’s office report.

“Nobody else was there and he wasn’t intoxicated,” Wilson said.

The man was taken to Tacoma General Hospital with injuries Wilson described as severe but not life-threatening.

Cool thread and nice story (where did he think the buckshot would go?). Also, I bet a few people here have some personal stories they can share.

my friend and I were attempting to breathe fire

he has long hair that hangs down over his face

long story short, he ended up smelling awful, with a flaming head, and no bangs

True story!!

oh, and we got our friend who only has one leg to try and do a backflip off a wall

…he just jumped back, and landed straight on his back

…way to take one for the team Ben!!! :smiley:

(don’t worry, both were OK!)

I actually know a person who’s wife won a Darwin Award.

The real story was that she was working with a horse, somehow fell instead of getting on top, but had her foot get caught in the stirrup. The horse panicked, and started running. She ended up dying. Her father watched what happened from a ways away. He even grabbed a gun to shoot the horse to make it stop. He never took a shot for fear of hitting his daughter.

The Darwin Award story was way over sensationalized. It was hardly recognizable.

The only thing I have personally seen that had darwin award potential is this.

At a church I used to go to, there is a power line that went from the pole to the building over the parking lot. A teenage kid thought it would be a great idea to take a long metal chain and try to wrap it around the power line. Luckily, he never got thru the insulation, but at one point the chain had 2 or 3 wraps around the wire while he was still holding the other end… I told him that it was probably the stupidest thing I had ever seen…

-Keld

Got another one in today’s e-mails. Hopefully this lesson will keep this kid from a more permanent nomination in the future.

Boy speaks with forked nose, or Why you NEVER run with a fork‏.

To anyone with children or grandchildren…

Show your kids, show your neighbors kids, show your enemies kids!Mommy and Daddy are NOT kidding when they say "NEVER run with sharp objects!"See, this is what happens when you run with a fork!

I know, you’re thinking the tip of the fork came DOWN on his nose, right?

Well, you won’t believe the next picture…

I bet the kid switches to a spoon!!!

fork nose 1.jpg

fork nose 2.jpg

Hahahaha, good one!

I’m not sure if this qualifies for a Darwin award, but it sure is stupid.

CANBERRA (Reuters) - One man was killed and another was then seriously injured when they tried to climb a tree at night to recapture a pet cockatoo in Australia.

The bird’s 72-year-old owner fell as he tried to recover the pet in the country town of Bendigo in southern Victoria state. He was taken to hospital for treatment, police said.

The injured man’s neighbor, 58, then took over the rescue, but he also fell and died instantly when he hit the ground.

“This was just an unfortunate accident,” Bendigo Police Sergeant Peter Gilmore told Australian Broadcasting Corp radio.

my dad nearly qualified.

we jacked up his car with a jack to look under it for some reason, we took the wheel off, fair enough. the jack kept slipping on the floor so we put a towel down or something, i can’t remember exactly. dad sticks his head under there goes “where is the torch” pulls his head out to find the torch and the jack slips out and the car drops. smashed the torch which was beside his head.

note to self - dont stick head under a jacked up car. ever.

I think we have our first WINNER for this thread. As the recipient is deceased, it will by accepted on his behalf by his accomplice:

Man’s self-sentenced death penalty for theft or…

Alligator’s jaws catch suspect in Florida lake
By The Associated Press

MICCOSUKEE TRIBE INDIAN RESERVATION, Fla. — A theft suspect who fled into an alligator-infested lake turned up dead the next day with gator-teeth marks on his upper torso, authorities said Tuesday.

Justo Padron, 36, of West Miami-Dade, was burglarizing a vehicle near the Miccosukee Resort and Convention Center last Thursday when police arrived, according to a Miccosukee Tribe official.

Padron fled and jumped into a nearby lake where a sign warns people: “Danger Live Alligators.” His body was recovered Friday with what appeared to be alligator-teeth marks on his upper torso.

The Miami-Dade Medical Examiner’s Office confirmed Wednesday that Padron died of an alligator attack. His death has been classified as an accident.

A Padron accomplice, who was not identified, surrendered and was arrested, said Dexter Lehtinen, a tribe attorney. Lehtinen said the two men were not members of the tribe.

Padron had been wanted by authorities since September for violating his probation after pleading guilty in June to cocaine possession.

He had been arrested more than a dozen times since 1989 on various charges, including burglary, robbery and drug possession, and was released from prison in 2002 after a six-year sentence for burglary.

A 9-foot-3-inch-long alligator suspected in the attack on Padron was killed.

Ehh… Who killed it and why?

I’m guessing only one nomination is allowed per alligator.

I copied this out of an email their pretty amusing…>

“You can’t fix stupid.” These people prove it is a terminal condition.
>As always, competition this year has been keen. The candidates this year
>were:
>
>Eighth Place
>In Detroit , a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water
>after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve
>his car keys.
>
>Seventh Place
>A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who “totally zoned when he ran,”
>accidentally jogg ed off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.
>
>Sixth Place Buxton , NC :
>A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had dug into the sand
>caved in as he sat inside it. Beach-goers said Daniel Jones, 21, dug the
>hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and had been sitting in a beach
>chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it collapsed, burying him
>beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach, on the outer banks, used
>their hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to Jones, a resident of
>Woodbridge, VA, but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using
>heavy equipment almost an hour to free him while about 200 people looked
>on. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.
>
>Fifth Place
>Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc , CA , as he fell face-first
>through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was
>caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to keep his
>hands free) rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.
>
>Fourth Place
>Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in Selbyville , Del , as he won a
>bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four
>bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
>
>Third Place
>The following mind-boggling attempt at a crime spree in Washington, DC
>appeared to be the robber’s first (and last), due to his lack of a previous
>record of violence, and his terminally stupid choices:
>1. His target was H&J Leather & Firearms - a gun shop specializing in
>handguns.
>2. The shop was full of customers - firearms customers.
>3. To enter the shop, the robber had to step around a marked police patrol
>car parked at the front door.
>4. A uniformed officer was standing at the counter, having coffee before
>work. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up, and
>fired a few wild shots from a target pistol. The officer and a clerk
>promptly returned fire, the police officer with a 9mm GLOCK 17, the clerk
>with a 50 DESERT EAGLE, assisted by several customers who also drew their
>guns and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics.
>Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop.
>The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified
>rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt in the exchange of
>fire.
>
>HONORABLE MENTION
>Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover township, NJ, and his wife
>Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter- stick of dynamite blew up in their
>car… While driving around at 2 AM, the bored couple lit the dy namite
>and tried to toss it out the window to see what would happen, but
>apparently failed to notice the window was closed.
>
>RUNNER UP: TACOMA , WA
>Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said
>they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from the Tacoma
>Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said
>they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in
>the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10
>men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at
>the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee
>rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out
>that a coil of lineman’s cable lay near by. One end of the cable was
>secured around Bingham’s leg and the other end was tied to the bridge. His
>fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tight ened and tore his foot off at
>the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy salt water and
>was rescued by two nearby fishermen. “All I can say” said Bingham, is that
>God was watching out for me on that night." There’s just no other
>explanation for it. Bingham’s foot was never located.
>
>AND THE WINNER…
>Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn , Germany) fed his
>constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a
>bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally
>let it fly, and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop!
>Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the
>ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him.
>“The sheer force of the elephant’s unexpected defecation knocked Mr.
>Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock and lay
>unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of him
>” said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. With no one
>there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour before a
>watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated. It seems to be
>just one of those freak accidents that proves… “Shit happens.”

The internet… spreading urban legend at the speed of light.

Check your sources. 1, 2, 3, & 6 are confirmed per Snopes.

Of course, there is an entire website dedicated to this: Darwin Awards: Evolution In Action.

But we can post our own when we see them, why should they have all the fun.

im sorry ^^^^^ i just saw it and posted it…even if their not true its still somewhat funny…

This is true. In this case, it doesn’t matter if the stories are factual…you want to believe them.

I think I desrve an honorable mention

For the use and creation of one of the worlds most questionable devices.

About 20 years ago, the commercial fishing laws were very lax, and I was making a lot of money spearfishing. I had this cool monster gun made out of 2 spear guns bolted together. On the left side was the small gun, the largest spear gun sold, with a 5/16 " spear. And on the right side was the same gun, with the stock extended. It shot home made spears that were 1/2 inch thick and 5 ’ long. These I welded to a short piece of 5/16 stock, so it could be fired from the standard hand grip. It needed 2 bands, but could shoot the heavy spear 50’ underwater. Now I could shoot a 40 lb grouper (worth 100$) with the heavy spear, and still have a second shot to move in close and finish him off. So far so good, I was killing big fish and making real money. I was sure I was a genius. The gun was so heavy it could not be held out straight to fire, so I fitted a open bottomed can halfway up the barrels. This I could fill with air from my regulator, to buoy up the guns, then tilt it to spill air out, after I shot the 5 lb spear, so it wouldn’t try to float away. :sunglasses:

I had always had my share of disagreements with sharks. However, the unique sound of the large groupers thrashing and dying seemed to draw in larger and more disagreeable sharks, then had been the case with the smaller fish I had been shooting previously. So after the second time I had my fish stolen, I was getting kinda angry. It is often dangerous to be clever when you’re angry, but I was to mad to care.

I knew there was a thing called a bang stick. This was a long metal pole spear, with a chamber for a 12 gauge shotgun shell at the end. If you jabbed the shark with it, the shell would go off.

Trouble was, it was large and unwieldy, especially since I was already swimming with the worlds largest spear gun. So my clever idea was to cut most of the pole off, and drill a 5/16 hole in remaining stub, so it would fit on the end of the small spear. Now, if a shark showed up to take my fish, I could pull this thing out of my pocket and put it on the spear tip, pull the safety pin, and be disagreeable myself. I was amazed no one had thought of this. Some things you can’t buy, so I made this myself.

Talk about excitement ! The first time I tried it I said “Make my day” to a 10 foot bull shark as he closed in on my fish. I let her rip from 5 feet away, hitting the shark on the nose. It was real surprised. I was too, cause the shell didn’t go off. I had been told that all you had to do was paint the primer with nail polish and it would be fine. But water had ruined it. The shark wheeled around, came back and took my fish. With a spear in it. I was really really mad. Now I had lost a 100$ fish, and a spear.

So now we get to the dangerous part. It was obvious that more experimentation was required. I got a fresh shell, put silicon gasket seal on it, and went out to the boat the next day.

I decided to test it in shallow water next to the dock. I wanted to test how far it could shoot before it had slowed to much to go off. So in about 5 feet of water I stretched out horizontally to fire it 10 feet into a wooden dock piling. Instead of crouching on the bottom. That’s what saved my life.

There was a loud base thud (a shotgun is surprising quiet underwater). A ball of gas. But no spear ! :thinking: It had completely vanished ! Eventually I found it, about 30 feet behind where I was when I fired it. The shell had propelled the spear back at me, passing at high speed just under my body. Had I shot it at a slightly different angle it would have skewered me like pig.

Oh well, now I know why they don’t sell those things. I was never to use the shark shooter again. :astonished:

that made me laugh.

Here are some darwin awards. :smiley:

1) Prison microwaves.
2) Electric cat.
3) Home delivery bike.
4) Too high.
5) Crocodile Impersonator.
6) Part 1 and Part 2.

The 4th link doesn’t work so i had to look elsewhere to find it. :stuck_out_tongue:

4) Too High.