The Canonical list of non-unicyclist jokes

After a couple of months on one wheel I think I’ve heard just about every
comment directed at unicyclists. Probably world-wide.

They are, in reverse order of popularity:

  1. `Wheelie’

    I bet you can’t do a wheelie!

  2. `Impoverished Rider’

    Couldn’t you afford a proper bike?

  3. `Stolen Wheel’

    a) Oi! Someone pinched your back wheel!
    b) Where’s your other wheel gone?
    c) You can’t leave anything around here can you mate?

In order to be a purveyor of sweetness and light, my responses are generally:

`Wheelie’: But I am doing a wheelie! — This tends to depress some wags so I
now tend to do a bunny hop instead and say “Howzat!?”

`Impoverished Rider’: Inane grin, Shake head.

`Stolen Wheel’: Act surprised as if I thought I was on two wheels.

After hearing these ad infinitum I’m in need of more responses. What are your
favourite come-back lines? Are there any jokes I’ve missed?


Re: The Canonical list of non-unicyclist jokes

My own personal favorite retort to bicyclists who make snide remarks about

“I see you’ve still got your training wheel on.”