The Bible Rewritten, how our world was really made...

(i mean no offense to any Christians this is just a joke)

‘It is told that God made the world in 6 days and on the 7th day he rested,’

slightly change this a little…

"God made the world in 6 days and on the 7th God decided that some of the people he created were made with a slight deficciantly, this disability mean they felt no fear, God thought that this could be a danger to the people as they progressed through life so to channel this endless adrenilin flowing in their blood God created the unicycle and from then on the world was a happy place :slight_smile:


Hee Hee!:smiley:
any more snippets from the new unicyclists’ bible?

Re: The Bible Rewritten, how our world was really made…


This is good. One saying I’ve used for years has been, ‘on the 7th day God did not rest, he created all of the cool things like, duct tape, power tools and beer.’ From now on I’ll add unicycles to that.


it says on the first day god created heaven and earth and on the second day he said “let there be light”

so he built heaven and earth with the lights off? i would have said “lets put some light on the situation first boys!”

you know what im sayin??


Re: bible!

explains a lot

Well there is the story of Joseph’s technocolour dreamcoat rewritten….

There was once a man called Jacob and he had 11 sons and they all loved to ride bikes, all of them that is except one, his name was Kris and he found no enjoyment or thrill in the sport of biking and so for his birthday his dad brought him a unicycle. when all the other brothers herded up the sheep and went to market on their bikes Kris would go deep into the forest and in a clearing he would spent hours and hours practicing his unicycling. But the other brothers grew jealous because Jacob would tell people of how talented his son Kris was and then one day Jacob brought Kris a mulitcoloured Carbon Fibre 26 Muni worth £700.00! Well for the brothers this was just one step too far they decided Kris needed to be punished and they plotted their revenge. The next day they dug a hole in the road and covered it in leaves, then they hid and watched as Kris rode towards in on his Uni, Kris fell down the hole and was trapped! They then packed him into a sack and put him as cargo in a boat. Kris grew up to become one of the worlds best unicyclists and his brothers were amazed at his talent and were very sorry at what they had done. But in the end Kris forgove them and taught them all how to unicycle!

THE END :slight_smile:

That explanes everything if i was created on the “rest” day that would explane why i am so damn lazy!

There’s a lesson in there somewhere, but I’m damned if I know what it is…

if you push people in pits then they will come back and teach you?

I’ve got one.

Once the uni and the bike were made everything seemed fine until bikers thought the bike was better than the uni and unicyclists thought that the uni was better than the bike (which it is). So God created the 2-wheller. A thing bikers and unicyclists could both be proud of, and they stopped their bickering. Unfortunately no-one was good enough to ride one so God created Gilby and their was peace through out the land.

This really doesn’t refer to any Bible story in particular so I’ll add a little bit something special.

And the Red Sea parted!!! And all the 1 wheeled and 2 wheeled riders lived in peace.

Hey maybe the 8 of us really should make a uni bible. It would be very popular.

It would be popular, but surely you’s have to have a basic knowledge of at least some of the bible stories. Which I don’t.

I blame my parents, we went to a hotel last weekend, and the owners had very kindly put bibles in every room, my parent’s used theirs as a door stop.


How about the Moses story? surely is the promised land?
A uni/bike