The Ashes

paul.selwood · August 28, 2005, 12:38pm

Seeing as there isn’t a thread on this yet (and possibly to try and stir up some transpondian confusion) - what about this Ashes series?

From an England perspective - it’s all going right at the moment.
From an Aussie one - it’s still all to play for, and today the baggy greens were showing just how up for it they were.
From a neutral one - Wow - how close and constantly enthralling can it get?

C’mon the King of Spain!

Cheers
Paul

DK1 · August 28, 2005, 7:53pm

Oi! Oi!

I have no idea what you are talking about, because coming from the Us, or media doesn’t like to show global news…
Can you explain? Are you talking about football?

Unicyclist_2 · August 29, 2005, 11:04am

Lol, football…
Nope, The Ashes is all about cricket.

Sorry Paul, I’m not a cricket fan but I may as well start congratulating England early because it’s only a matter of time now until their victory’s official

Denali · August 30, 2005, 12:30am

I expected Oz to thrash England after all the pre-series hype…
But Eng have played out of their skins…Would be interesting to see what happens if Oz bat first…since in all the games the team batting first have had the upper hand…I’ll put my money on Eng. now…

Btw, I’m neutral and usually lean towards the underdog…which is Oz at the moment…

GILD · August 30, 2005, 2:19am

i’m not neutral
i only support two teams
south africa
and anyone playing against australia
even england

GO POMS GO!
WHINE YOURSELVES TO ANOTHER VICTORY
KICK SOME AUSSIE ARSE
TENDERISE IT FOR OUR YEAR-END KICKING
AND PLEASE, CAN SOMEONE SET A BUNCH OF VISCIOUS CHAVS ON WARNIE’S ARSE?
why am i shouting?
go murali go

MrBoogiejuice · August 30, 2005, 6:43am

I’ve only had the chance to watch the last test this weekend…Nail biting stuff.

This fresh faced England team is doing excellently considering their relative inexperience.

Few games get me excited and bring out my patriotic side but cricket’s one of 'em. There’s nowt better than spending a day prostrate in an armchair watching the Aussies get a thrashing.

I’m not getting too excited about England winning yet. Australia are a cunning side they’ve still everything t play for and hearing how close the previous matches have been I can see Oz winning the next one and it coming down to a nailbiting final test…Let’s see what happens eh.

GILD · August 30, 2005, 7:00am

i thought there’d been a draw allready and they’re 2-1 up with only one to play?

there’s a lovely Ian Botham quote about the joys of beating australia in front of 50 000 convicts
i can’t find the original now but it’s something along those lines

MrBoogiejuice · August 30, 2005, 7:08am

You could well be right…My 2 month news blackout only ended a couple of days ago.

If so that’s excellent. When’s the next match? Need to make my pub selection good and early.

GILD · August 30, 2005, 7:23am

isn’t a whining aussie just the prettiest site?
them and their lumpy carpet

last test is the 8th till the 12th at the oval

paul.selwood · August 31, 2005, 1:31pm

… and I’m hoping for 5 days of solid rain just to make sure. The
previous 3 tests have all been far too tight for my nerves.

Paul

Butty · August 31, 2005, 1:36pm

COME ON ENGLAND YUO KNOW YOU CAN WIN but you probly wont though lol

napalm · August 31, 2005, 7:35pm

hooray for being the first Aussie to reply to this thread.
I can give all you poms a perfectly good reason why Australia is not going so well in the Cricket these days… we no longer give a shit about such a boring bloddy game!
For all you non cricket understanding people let me give you a rundown of its crapulence

its a game that takes 5 days to complete
both teams dress in white
even after 5 days of play the english shitty weather can cause a draw, when clearly one side is superior.
Even the highlights are uninspiring (with the exception of a few good catches)
only a handful of nations play the game- of those a few are dominant leading to stupid matchups
you can be a top player in your mid thirtys and be overweight (i’m looking your way darren lehman)

Looking at it the only positive side is it gives the yobs an excuse to get out of the house and get pissed in the sun (Australia) or overcast outdoors.
When there are so many more exciting and challenging sports in Australia like AUstralian rules football (AFL), rugby leauge and Union, its no wonder that we have woken up to the fact that the english sport of cricket is booring as batshit and do not care.
Crowd attendances and the state comp in Australi is testament to our over-it-ness

Mark

GILD · September 1, 2005, 2:05am

but not hooray for being the sorest single loser in the history of aussie sport
denouncing a sport for being ‘boring’ when u’re getting your arse kicked is just sad
sit down
be quiet
and try n maintain some sense of dignity

i’m actually hoping for australia to win the toss in the final test and (following the old wc grace dictum
“When you win the toss - bat.
If you are in doubt, think about it, then bat.
If you have very big doubts, consult a colleague - then bat.”)
to decide to bat
scoring 600 runs by lunch on day two and then to declare
england bowled out shortly after tea for 136 runs and ponting enforces the follow on
england bats day 3 and 4, declaring on 613, half and hour before close of play on day 4
they take 3 quick wickets as australia sets out to score 149 for victory
they collapse aussie-like on the final morning and england reclaims the ashes before lunch
joy is unconfined

and that unique record in world cricket remains secure
only three teams have ever enforced the follow-on and gone on to lose the match in the 127 year history of test-cricket
those three teams are

Australia losing to to England in Sydney in 1894-95

Australia losing to England again in the Headingley Test of 1981

Australia losing to India in Kolkata in 2001

napalm · September 1, 2005, 4:47am

GILD, call me apathetic- but please do not insinuate i’m a sore looser. I can understand where you are comming from- the form of Aussies in loosing is pretty poor- look at Pontings whinge after he got run out after a stupid attempt at a run.
Maybe if i put on a singlet, get really sunburnt and get pissed over a five day period (and pretend to be interested) i can restore my dignity in your eyes…
Mark

GILD · September 1, 2005, 5:04am

first of all, i didn’t insinuate it
i said it

secondly, apathy is highly unlikely to motivate one to make as detailed a post as the one u made

thirdly, and i guess the main reason for my ‘spirited’ reply, is that most all of the aussies it’s been my pleasure to have known, either in person or in this cyber-realm, have been ‘give-as-good-as-they-got’ kind of people who would stand up and take their beatings when it was due
as (the gods of both south african cricket and rugby over the past couple of years can attest to this) i have done
and yon beating were most often delivered by my aussie aquaintances

i didn’t intend to insult u personally and do apologise if u read my comments in that way

that said, taking the time and trouble to post to this thread simply to explain your team’s losing performance as a result of not caring about the sport anymore does leave a funny, vegemitey taste in the mouth that no amount of ‘boiling water with a spot of milk’ is likely to wash away
might be time for a gin and tonic, what

much as i enjoy the game, i also enjoyed Bill Bryson’s comments on the game with special mention of the australian connection
this classic quote

is from this larger piece available here

Bill Bryson on cricket (from “In A Sunburned Country”, by Bill Bryson, first edition, hardcover, pages 105 - 108):
"After years of patient study (and with cricket there can be no other kind) I have decided that there is nothing wrong with the game that the introduction of golf carts wouldn’t fix in a hurry. It is not true that the English invented cricket as a way of making all other human endeavors look interesting and lively; that was merely an unintended side effect. I don’t wish to denigrate a sport that is enjoyed by millions, some of them awake and facing the right way, but it is an odd game. It is the only sport that incorporates meal breaks. It is the only sport that shares its name with an insect. It is the only sport in which spectators burn as many calories as players – more if they are moderately restless. It is the only competitive activity of any type, other than perhaps baking, in which you can dress in white from head to toe and be as clean at the end of the day as you were at the beginning.

Imagine a form of baseball in which the pitcher, after each delivery, collects the ball from the catcher and walks slowly with it to center field; and that there, after a minute’s pause to collect himself, he turns and runs full tilt toward the pitcher’s mound before hurling the ball at the ankles of a man who stands before him wearing a riding hat, heavy gloves of the sort used to to handle radio-active isotopes, and a mattress strapped to each leg. Imagine moreover that if this batsman fails to hit the ball in a way that heartens him sufficiently to try to waddle forty feet with mattress’s strapped to his legs, he is under no formal compunction to run; he may stand there all day, and, as a rule, does. If by some miracle he is coaxed into making a misstroke that leads to his being put out, all the fielders throw up their arms in triumph and have a hug. Then tea is called and every one retires happily to a distant pavilion to fortify for the next siege. Now imagine all this going on for so long that by the time the match concludes autumn has crept in and all your library books are overdue. There you have cricket.

The mystery of cricket is not that Australians play it well, but that they play it at all. It has always seemed to me a game much too restrained for the rough-and-tumble Australian temperament. Australians much prefer games in which brawny men in scanty clothing bloody each other’s noses. I am quite certain that if the rest of the world vanished over night and the development of cricket was left in Australian hands, within a generation the players would be wearing shorts and using the bats to hit each other. And the thing is, it would be a much better game for it."

napalm · September 1, 2005, 5:37am

nah nah none of what you said was taken as an insult. A lively argument is always a bit of good fun. The Bill Bryson passage pretty much sums up my feelings for the sport (if you could call it that) that is cricket.
Geez maybe i’m just plain unAustralian- i mean i’d rather eat sand that has been deficated on than Vegimite, i don’t enjoy cricket at all, and never in my entire life have i wrestled a crocodile or ridden in a kangaroo’s pouch.
Shit…maybe i need to move to New Zealand or some other country that is no good at any of those things
Mark

GILD · September 1, 2005, 5:41am

that’s kewl
i was going for ‘playfull banter with a bit of an edge’

now dem’s fightin’ woids
just u watch out when the Kiwi’s read that
…oh, wait…

Unicyclist_2 · September 1, 2005, 6:40am

Wroooong, you were the second, I beat you!

And I happen to like vegemite and ride to school on a kangaroo, thank you very much. …Okay, that last one was a lie.

GILD · September 1, 2005, 7:01am

so?
make a plan

Unicyclist_2 · September 1, 2005, 7:05am

Aha, touche! 10 points for you, GILD