surfing on a unicycle, tips and tricks...

surfing on a unicycle, tips and tricks…


first off

you want to affect the right attitude

i’ll be right back

surfing on a unicycle, tips and tricks…


people are going to talk to you

if you get past the basics

lot’s of people are going to talk to you

get used to it

it won’t go away

lot’s of those people

are going to blather on

with the same crap

you’ve heard thousands of times before

and it can be hard

to be polite

but then

surfing on a unicycle

is that much fun

the good outweighs the bad

sore calves today

i had a good surf last night

not much in the way of fatigue durin


three hour or so

unicycle surfing adventure in the heart of the city


sooner or later

you’re going to enter a crowd

the crowd is your wave

it ebbs and flows

and it’s intelligent

well mostly

that first time

you set a goal

to get from here

to there

through the crowd

by unicycle

and achieve it

is mega

how did i do that ?

hundreds of people

all moving in different directions

and my self

surfing a unicycle through them

and i found all the gaps

in the human wave

and got through unscathed


beware of riding

with music to supply your beat

your body becomes attuned

if the music should stop

radio station blows up

cord pulls out

or something similar

you fall off the unicycle

too fast a transition

can be embarrassing


if you’re bothered about crashing

to be a true master

of unicycle surfing

is to not be bothered about crashing

it’s all about

conquering your fear

be careful with buses

they take a long time

to traverse a corner

you can be caught

by the tail end of the bus

rushing into the corner

to trap you

you’ll never ride so fast in your life

believe me…

certain substances

i don;t recommend


even if i do it all the time

you understand

don;t do what i do

do as i say

yeah right…

if you’re proving new territory


no-one’s gone nuts on a unicycle

in your chosen city

you are going to talk to a lot of officials

most of whom are going to be unhappy with you

chin up

and perservere


they’ll get used to you

“either that”

“or you get psychic enough to avoid them”

beer should be avoided

if you drink beer and surf

you’ll hit walls

and posts

and wear numerous bruises

but if you’ve the right stuff of course

you won’t break anything

you do have the right stuff don’t you?

the right stuff…

you’ve gotta have it

it’s that simple

what you’re doing is


racing the cars

across the lights

on a unicycle

is not possible

you will die

unless you are a wizard

are you a wizard ?

malicious people

they’re out there

you’ll meet them

they’ll try to trip you

they’ll try scaring you off

they’ll try to confuse you with noise and movement

you can beat them

can’t you ?

it’s your wave…

your wave lasts


when you start

to when you finish

the first goal

is can i ride

thirty pedals

on the unicycle

without falling off

then pick another goal

don’t look at the big picture

and don’t think about jumping gutters

even if you see me doing it

one thing at a time


forget anything you read anywhere

including here

what’s comfortable for you

i was surfing in the street

and in the crowd

way before

i could launch on the unicycle without a post

i didn;t let it stop me

don;t let it stop you…

everything comes in time

don;t make you goals time based

make them

skills based

when it’s ready it’ll come

try not to listen to the crowd too m uch

you’ll hear things

you wish you didn;t

loud music in your ears can be a

small help

but if they’re yelling loud enough

you’ll hear it

the first time

someone tells you

that YOU

are amazing

is pretty blooody nice

the ten thousandth time

is like

oh yeah okay

<<< smile >>>

you are going to see

an awful lot of smiles

read paulie’s book

if you want to see the power of the smile

ride anywhere

and if you see people

then they can see you


you will see smiles

i can’t ride to the local shop

or down the road

or anywhere

without seeing someone smile

beware the addiction of the smile

but don;t be too serious about it

where’s your other wheel ?

is a conditioned human response

it is not appropriate to respond with

up the arse of the last guy who asked

though occasionally

i’ll predict

you will use it

trust me

i’m not a doctor…


get used to it

you’ll be filmed more times

than a devoted mother takes piccies of her darling child

you’ll appear

on television

in the paper

and in magazines

i have…


everywhere you go

young people



as you ride by

surfing on your unicycle

customise your unicycle

don;t run with the pack

my unicycle

is the rear end of a bicycle

with an extra seat

making it a tandem unicycle

give them something else to smile at

it’s all about the smile

close your eyes

when you can do it

you’ll know why

zen and stuff

you know…

it’s not a crime to be eccentric

even if you are riding a


what you are riding is a flywheel

which is an intelligent way to get around

more distacne travelled

for less effort

i see an awful lot of town

riding around on a unicycle

more than you do…


people will call you names

everything from

the unicycle [ insert gender here ]


crazy person

you name it

you know who you are right ?

don’t play with the taxi’s


don;t play with the taxi’s

ah well

if ya have to

have a good sense of humour

when doing bunny hops for the crowd

don;t do it for too long

it draws a larger crowd

the problem with this of course

you fuck your wave

and can’t ride off the trick

and continue the wave

so keep it brief

and amazing

and then disappear…

drunk crazy women

are much like drunk crazy men

you’ll meet em


you will meet them


the nightclubber wave

it’s more intense




and pissed


and they’re out for a good time

they’ll join in your game

it’s a fuckin lovely game

the unicycle game

can i get from here

to there

when i don;t know

where there is

surfing on a unicycle…

you’ve never tried anything this good

better than sex

better than drugs

“better surfing with both of them”

best extreme sport on the planet…

go fuckin HARD

the land surfer…




the adventures of the land surfer…

surfing the land ona unicycle


surfing on a unicycle, tips and tricks…

I hear the pavement waves are sometimes really good near the San Andreas fault. It’s a long wait between sets, though…

Thats way too long for me to ever read, take like a third of the enters out of the sentance and I’ll give it a try. Way too long htough.

Heh… I thought they’d given it up after the last two random wailings ages ago went down like a lead balloon. Evidently not!


This one worked for me. Some thought was put into this one and the gaps give it the pace it needs to be read in the mood intended.

Last night I skimmed the beginning, and read the middle to end and then went on to other threads. I re-read the entire thing this morning and actually enjoyed it.

I wouldn’t want to read a new one every day though. And because its on a public forum I would have appreciated the an alternative to the F-word or at least reduce it to F* and F*'n. I hate it when I hear that word in public.

I enjoyed it, but it was hard to read quite so spread out… Thanks,