I’d like to increase the versatility of my stock responses to the same questions I’ve heard 10,000 times while riding around. Post a stock question, and then post your sarcastic/smartass answer.
Ex. (regarding me riding my Nimbus 36er):
Q: Hey, can you do any tricks on that?
A: Yeah, I do this one where I ride 400 miles. (Thanks mouse)
(I apologize if there’s already a thread like this; I did some quick searching and didn’t find an obvious one.)
in before search function 
Q: Where’s your other wheel? insert obligatory snicker
A: Real men only need one.
http://www.unicycling.org/unicycling/hypermail/0898.html
http://www.unicycling.org/unicycling/hypermail/0912.html
http://www.unicycling.org/unicycling/hypermail/0913.html
Wow, talk about digging into the depths! I knew that exhaustive list was out there somewhere, but I didn’t realize how old!
Now add to those.
Yes, by all means lets come up with more!
But the thing is, most people who ask these questions are way too dumb to understand your comeback then you have to stand there explianing… or of course rdie away! 
That’s part of the fun of it, in my opinion. They have to stand and think about it for a second; then some will get it, others won’t, and natural selection won’t know the difference.
Alright, let’s try it this way. Imagine someone (most people that see you) asks a question: Where are the breaks? How can you reply? My imagination never gives me a smart and funny answer
I’ve been asked that, Triball…I usually say “attached to my ankles”.
A good one, but I want something really embarrassing…for them 
Q: Where’s the brake?
A: YOU! (Run into them)
“where are your brakes?”
give puzzled look and glaze down "Oh my god!!! speed up and flail at them Then just inches away, stop/turn and just start riding again.
Ooh I like it