Sharehouse living- advice, anecdotes, anarchy?

hey there everyone,
So recently me and two of my friends have decided to ditch living on campus in our college and get a share house instead. We were just accepted for a rental property in the suburbs (a bit of a big deal because the housing market here in Canberra is so damn tight) and are moving in next weekend.

I thought it would be a good idea to consult the infinite wisdom of unicyclist.com for any advice on sharehouse living, funny stories from your own experiences, things to be wary of, and ideas for a good housewarming present.
I will post pics of our sweet pad once we get it all together, but in the mean time chat away!
mark

ps: also a good note- the house is close to Canberra’s fairly decent bike path system so i can look forward to a 30min 36er ride to uni each day for the next while! YAR!

My last year in college I shared a house with three of my friends, one guy I barely knew who needed his own address because his girlfriend’s parents would have freaked if they’d formally lived together, and one guy I actively despised. We made a lot of noise.

Chow Man, chinese as you might guess, was in a Jewish fraternity.

Claude, the cat, was brain damaged from Ray, the guy I despised and a future veterinarian having fed him hash brownies.

Paul, my original freshman year roommate and with whom I lived all four years, opened his head on the edge of his stereo after he threw it back laughing at something that wasn’t funny while he was stoned. He also threw up unexpectedly, also while stoned, right on a largely uneaten pizza once; it was a Dominos though so nobody really cared. It probably wont surprise you to learn that Paul is the most successful and wealthiest of us.

Russ, the one with whom I still keep in contact, would only listen to Springsteen, South Side Johnny and the Asbury Jukes, Tom Waits, and Vangelis. Nothing else.

Chow and Ray and occasionally Russ, played multi-room darts.

I’m pretty sure I was the only one who smoked in bed.

But most amazing of all was the guy downstairs. Leonard Fishman. He was a graduate student who rented the basement. Unbeknownst to us all as we made our racket upstairs including routinely high jumping over our beat up sofa as others held it up above the ground, he was in his final year getting his PhD. Not one of us ever spoke a word to him. As surprising as it was for us to hear his name called at graduation - they called individually the PhDs - it must have been equally surprising to him to hear our yells of Fish in congratulations. We were proud of our boy. He never once complained.

Does sharehouse have some specific meaning or is it just an idiom there that means you’re sharing a living place?

I live in a house of 6, and lived in a house of 12 for the two years previous. Never had any serious problems with housemates. We don’t have any communal area other than the kitchen so we don’t mix so much, but still get on well.

Couldn’t imagine having a room-mate, i like my personal space.

Communicate.

Other people’s quirks and annoying habits can grate on you. Decide up front that everyone will be open and forthright as a policy (some people are not as outspoken as others, some people are not used to living in close quarters, some people need more privacy, some people are more sensitive to certain issues than you are). Don’t hold it in. It just makes it worse. It can be a great experience as long as you don’t let the little things bother you (and fester and grow into something larger).

“I’m not the easiest guy to live with myself, so I really hate to complain, but… I really don’t like when you clip your toenails on the kitchen table and leave the clippings all over the table. Can you please do that somewhere else? It’s not clean and it kinda grosses me out.”

If you don’t have that conversation right away, you’ll regret it later on. This applies to living with anybody (not that I’m an expert). Get that part right and the rest is easy – you’ll love it.

…if you let them.

In a situation where you’re sharing with one or two people, the situation is manageable. As Dave said, come up with policies, including a regular “house meeting night” where everyone can voice concerns. Make sure that everyone is reminded of their responsibilities, and add financial penalties for not fulfilling them… i.e. take out the trash or add $20 to rent.

Make your policies dead simple… black or white… so there is no “wiggle room” and there will be little reason for argument. No one wants to argue with a roomie… it’s never fun to have tension in your own house.

Now, if you get into a situation where you’re sharing with 4+ people, you’re just going to have to accept the fact that things won’t always go as planned, and the situation won’t always be pleasant. The more people in a house, the less controllable the situation… unless you’re talking about an army barracks. All you can really do is try and mitigate the effects of chaos.

As for stories, whoa…

I lived with 9 others in a “flop house” at the base of campus for about a year. I wasn’t even going to school at the time… I was just there for the parties… which happened on a weekly basis. We got to know the local police very well, and provided the city a small stream of revenue from our regular noise violations. We’d discover random people passed out in the hallways, bathrooms, around the yard… having so many roomies, we never knew if the “randoms” sleeping in our living room were invited guests or not.

Then there were the household musicians… several of them. There’d be band practice in the basement at midnight (even though I had to get up for work at 5 AM). There’d be the living room jam sessions, and the recording studio in the back bedroom. Then the photographers would show up to record the practice, and inevitably a nude photo shoot would break out, guys and gals alike… darned hippies.

The kitchen was a war zone. The stove was broken to the point where a certain burner would electrocute those who dared to use it. The oven had an unidentifiable carbonated crust about it which evoked memories of the holocaust any time someone tried to bake something. A conga-line of ants was ever present, between the overflowing sink and the overstuffed garbage cans. Every once in a while, though, the whole house would come together, clean the place up, and cook a great feast. Those days were my favorite.