i make a lot of bicycles and unis. today a random kid (who knew me somehow) came up to me and goes “why don’t you go and build yourself another unicycle”. i thought it was pretty wierd so i just gave him a mean look. and havent seen him since.
This morning, I rode past a horse pasture. The horses did not say anything but about 6 of them came over to the fence and watched me ride by.
“Can you put training wheels on one of those?”
-Justin
This made me laugh. I’ll bet it looks pretty strange to someone who normally needs four hooves to get around. I wonder if they are jealous. 
“yeah, it’s called a bike”
"can you ride that uphill?
“How do you balance?”
“How do you steer?”
“Why are you riding that on a trail?”
“Couldn’t I do the same thing on a pogo stick”?
“I tried one of those when I was a kid, but I fell off”
And my personal favorite:
“Aren’t you embarrased to be seen on that thing?”
whilst riding on private property a groundsman comes up to me and my friend telling us we are not allowed to be here blah blah blah. He said hes seen us stack and if we fall and split our skulls they could get sued and he said something like “so you can’t ride here…at least not while i’m here”. then when we leave me friend goes “i was so tempted to ask him what time his shift finished”.
not exactly non-rider stories/quotes…
Was doing my 2 mile loop of the neighborhood when someone remarked “I have one of those in my shed.” Turns out that he stopped riding when he joined the Marine Corps. Said he used to do his paper route on his uni (a Schwinn). He invited me to stop over next week for a ride.
Last week I discovered that someone that I have worked with for the past 8 years used to ride a uni (until he broke it…)
–tom
Today I went riding with a couple of local unicyclists. The young lad (Joel) said that last week he had been riding on the prom and someone had shouted “Where’s your other wheel” and somebody else shouted back “The lady I saw this morning had it” (meaning me). Well, I thought it was funny.
Cathy
This one from today made me laugh.
I was riding home from showing off in my local Albertson’s parking lot, and this white guy in a little white sports car, rap music blaring, yells out as he passes me, “OH SH*T!” in perfect ghetto-speak. I almost fell of the unicycle I was laughing so hard.
wonder what he would of said if both of us were there.
Yesterday, it actually got down to 90 degrees, so I decided to go for a ride around the block. I’m riding down the street, and this lady says, in a completely stereotypical Alabamian hick accent “Well ain’t that somethin’”.
A wonderful day of riding today.
There was a free concert just out of town, so I dropped off the missus and some of her friends and went off riding.
Off down the beach front where I get “Oy mate! Someone’s nicked ewer front wheel!!” from a particularly unpleasant fat lady with five or six slack-jawed, swivel-eyed, banjo-playing offspring.
“A-haha,” I laugh Noel Coward style, and am rewarded by a two litre bottle of beer hurled at me (empty of course, the natives value their beer too much).
A bit further on and two goth teenagers sitting on the floor applaud as I go by. We all smile and I say “Don’t clap, just throw money!”
Give me goths over townies any day.
With the concert on, and it being a Sunday, I realise that I’m missing a great opportunity to ride around the city centre when it’ll be deserted.
I head for the pedestrianised centre and it’s bloody great. Not a soul about apart from the occasional family trying to find a cashpoint.
I also get a few ‘respect’ nods from the lads on their trials bikes who are also taking advantage of hassle-free riding.
I take a sharp corner and almost bump into a pretty lady who gives me a long drawn-out “Coooool!” in an American accent.
I stop opposite a restaurant, and dismount for a break.
I get back on after a drink, and give myself a few seconds for minor adjustments. As I’m about to set off, I look around and see twenty faces staring at me from the restaurant tables outside.
I put on my angst-face and shout “I can’t do it when people are watching!”
This gets a few laughs and I ride off (thankfully) with no mishaps.
I rejoin the missus at the concert and she asks how my ride went.
“The good points outweighed the bad ones.” I reply.
doing street riding. someone says “wtf”
right after i 180’d a 3 set a little kid said “can you ride that thing”?
Rofl that made me laugh. Clueless people like that are hilarious.
That’d be a good sig
I was doing my favorite downhill section over and over
A Guy never saw it before but he accepted it and he said:
“Don’t ride road bikes; they are dangerous”.
Then the guy showed me a 12" inch scare on his thigh. he said:
“I almost died.”
I agreed with him and I do believe riding roads are more scrary.
one more, same day and place–
Lady sez “that impressive” as I was coming down.
I say “Impressive would be riding up”
Guy on the prom (obviously not a pesky tourist) - “I remember when you used to fall off that thing in the carpark. Now you’re a speed freak”.
Cathy
I think that must be the quote of the day… 
While trying out my new KH 29er today at the netball courts (netball is similar to basket ball and is the biggest girls sport here in Aus). It was wet and I had taken the pins out of my pedals so my shoes were just slipping off.
Older guy to a girl running really fast across the courts (timing her i’m guessing):
“At least you’re doing better than that guy”
Siege