As the Environmental, Health & Safety Director, I am responsible for implementing the company’s random drug testing program. Yesterday, I sent our lab manager (and company clown), Adam, for a random drug test.
He arrives at work before I do every day so when I walked into my office this morning, I found this on my desk. Evidently, it’s really some sort of neat lab chemical but it sure caught me by surprise.
You know what they say about paybacks!!! 
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Tell him that you need at least 2 more litres to draw any conclusions and don’t take no for an answer.
A couple ideas for paybacks:
Keep it under wraps for a while then have it show up at an “opportune” time or event.
Create a photo-diary of the sample visiting various locales throughout your company’s complex.
Slip some cocaine into his coffee next time you “randomly” select him for a drug test.
tell him he failed
Tell him his body has so much of that particular chemical that he is unfit to work, and you will therefore have to take over his position.
Actually, the drug test was conducted at the off-site Occupational Health Clinic, I don’t have the ability to conduct the test here. Adam just thought I needed a copy of his sample, I suppose. I do like Steve’s idea about a photo journal. Very interesting idea.
Tell him you need a stool sample too.
And that he has to provide one in the office, so there will be no suspicion of switched samples.
Yes, with at least two independent witnesses!