poems

A turtle of nine

Did not like the school

Cause when he would change

The others were cruel

He was not unusual

Quite like all the other

But there was one problem

Passed on from his mother

His mum, you see

Was not lacking the least

In much turtle hair

That she kept underneath

This made school a problem

Embarrassment at hand

Especially in sport time

Were undressing, in demand

To PE hed go

With anxiety, all scared

For fear that they spied

Hes turtle parts, all haired

The only one he was

To have hair in those parts

The other turtles and such

Would start cracking remarks

One day he did try

With tweezers to pluck

But upon the first tug

He exclaimed holy fuck

I know what youre thinking

That Turtles dont groom

Nor do they grow

The Likes of pubic costume

But next time you hang

some shit on that guy

With extra long hair

Sprouting from his thigh

Just step back and think

About the little turtle that lost

The race with the hair

And the pride that it cost

a parody i wrote some time ago, probably to late to help you out but thought it would fit here.

I’ll never produce anything close to DK’s brilliant wordcraftery, but here’s a go:

Roses are red
Disco is dead
I’d love to kick
a clown in the head

Tires are round
Harper’s profound
I think my mom
found me at the pound

Muni is muddy
I have a buddy
who drinks like a fish
and eats Silly Putty

Steve Nash is ace
I think this joint’s laced
I’ll give you a fifty
for St. Charles Place

:thinking:

dude, writing poems is easy, I wrote this one in like two seconds, you can use it for your thing if you want.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Unicycle tricks,
Unicycle injuries,
Unicycle fun.

Ed

I loved that one.

James:

Your fun can be this dude’s expulsion from school…

THEN who’d be laughing?

Billy

Expulsion? Unlikely as this thread has been resurrected from some 9 months ago. Nice to see some peoples’ poems though. Not written many myself, and I think only one very simple poem written by me has actually survived. I wrote it about 8 years ago, and although I do not claim it has any literary merit at all, it can be seen in an old page that has been ensnared in the World Weary Web for years.
It does come with a very, very gentle parental guidance warning. So don’t go there if you will be extremely easily offended. I guess that will double the readership!

It’s called “The Mermaid”

The Mermaid

Nao

I resurrected it. i am the all powerfull resurrected of old poem threads! traversing cyberspace with but one goal, to bring back poetry and make it hip and cool once again.

I like tha tpoem because I can understand it and I think its quite good. I like how you did the with music too. Howdo you do that raindrop thing and Is that you in the pivture because It looks a lot like you do.

Four Little Limericks i wrote (if any of the following are peoples names massive apolgies they are not you the names just rhymed well!) (also apoligies they are a bit rude :slight_smile: )

There once was a pirate named Bob
Who had a tatoo on his nob
when asked why there
He simply would stare
Then roll on the floor like a dog

There was a transvestite named Mary
Whose face was exceedingly hairy
She had a big dick
Looked pretty sick
And really was dreadfully scary

There once was a gay man named Paul
Who was incredibly tall
One day in bed
When giving head
His feet were half way down the hall

There once was a paedo named Sandy
Who liked to be rather handy
He’d take little boys
To play with as toys
And leave himself feeling quite randy