Penis and Balls

“Does that hurt your balls?” probably only second to “Is the circus in town?”

Most unicyclists insist that it does not hurt. My experience is the exact opposite. I have repeatedly smashed both my penis and my balls (yes that’s right, both) so many times that it really doesn’t hurt that bad anymore. Is this normal? The most common ways it happens for me is when I miss the cranks on a unispin or if I bail one way and the unicycle wheel switches directions and goes the same way I go resulting in me jumping off and then landing on my uni only on my junk. Anyone else had similar experiences but too shy to speak up about them?

I’m starting to like the idea of having balls of steel (immune to pain) although from a health perspective it sounds like it would be bad.

thats not wht people mean by “does it hurt your balls.” normal riding, after a proper mount, shouldnt hurt your balls. but really in any sport you hurt your balls much more often. think about it: how many basebal players have been hit in the nuts. 100%. how many ultimate frisbee players have ran straight into waist-high poles? i dont know. me and maybe some others. the point is, it is unlikely under normal circumstances that a unicyclist undergoes any more ball pain than another athlete.

I’m not talking about hitting them. I’m talking about landing with all of your weight on them. I played baseball in highschool, and it hurts 10x as much as a fastball to the nuts. (I was a catcher.) Granted I always wear a cup when doing any sport aside from (bi/uni)cycling.

if i kept track of how many times i hit them i would be counting more than riding :stuck_out_tongue:

my advice:

don’t miss the cranks, and choose a better title for the thread next time.

. . . no really, if you can’t do a 1080 unispin with confidence, don’t try it. Work up.

The name of this thread amuses me.

I forgot who said it first, but I always reply:

“Never kick a unicyclist in the balls; you’ll only make him stronger!”

Dunno what the analogous phrase would be for the ladies…

I have found that over time the discomfort in the penis and balls region when riding has lessened. Does this mean riding has made my lunchbox tougher? I hope so.

But using the presumption that it hurts your balls to ride can be exploited to good effect when performing. During performances, I do a suicide mount then take my hat and put it over my face and scream into it for a second or two while idling. It ALWAYS gets lols.

Just put some vinegar on it!

Why didn’t you think of that?

Well, of course if you miss a trick and land with your balls in the seat without any point of contact with the ground… !smashed potatoes!

But it worth it xD