Osama bin Laden memo

Off-topic
1

From: Bin Laden, Osama [mailto:osama@taliban.com]
Sent: Monday, November 19, 2001 8:17 AM
To: Cavemates
Subject: The Cave

Hi guys. We’ve all been putting in long hours but we’ve really come together as a group and I love that. Big thanks to Omar for putting up the poster that says “There is no I in team” as well as the one that says “Hang In There, Baby.” That cat is hilarious. However, while we are fighting a jihad, we can’t forget to take care of the cave. And frankly I have a few concerns.

First of all, while it’s good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we should be even more concerned about the scorpions in our cave. Hey, you don’t want to be stung and neither do I, so we need to sweep the cave daily. I’ve posted a sign-up sheet near the main cave opening.

Second, it’s not often I make a video address but when I do, I’m trying to scare the most powerful country on earth, okay? That means that while we’re taping, please do not ride your razor scooter in the background. Just while we’re taping. Thanks.

Third point, and this is a touchy one. As you know, by edict, we’re not supposed to shave our beards. But I need everyone to just think hygiene, especially after mealtime. We’re all in this together.

Fourth: food. I bought a box of Cheez-Its recently, clearly wrote “Osama” on the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, my Cheez-Its were gone. Consideration. That’s all I’m saying.

Finally, we’ve heard that there may be American soldiers in disguise trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them. First patrol will be Omar, Muhammed, Abdul, Akbar, and Richard.

Love you lots.

Osama

2

I went to Snopes to see if I could find the memo. I was expecting not to find it there. Then I’d be able to come back here and say the memo wasn’t on Snopes so it must be true. But unfortunately the memo is on Snopes so that gag is a no-go.

3

Yeah, Snopes is where I got it in the first place actually…it’s weird they do things like that so obviously not true.

4

What exactly is snopes? I’ve never heard of it.

Anyway, That’s mad funny. I saw it on Myspace a while ago but it was good to see it again.

5

Snopes - Snopes aims to debunk or confirm widely spread urban legends. The site is referenced by numerous other sites, directing people to more information about various hoaxes, especially in regard to chain e-mails. Although they research their topics heavily and provide references when possible, not all of their sources (especially those which are personal interviews, phone calls, or e-mails) are fully verifiable. Where appropriate, pages are generally marked “undetermined” or “unverifiable” if the Mikkelsons feel there is not enough evidence to either support or disprove a given claim.

6

Thanks for the laugh!

7

Already stolen and forwarded.