News: toe clips = death

Seen in an newspaper of the future:
Unicyclist Riding to Heaven

A young man out for exercise made a fatal error and is now riding the big
wheel in the sky. XXX YYY, from ZZZ, was out for a spin on his large
unicycle. He was part of the growing community of racing unicyclists, but
this one got too speed-hungry for his own good.

The intrepid unicyclist was using a modified 'Big Wheel" made by the Coker
Company. His version was equipped with three-inch cranks and a “Harper Hub
175,” turning his unicycle into a speed machine. “Instead of getting about
ten feet per revolution, he was getting nearly seventeen,” said Greg
Harper, the inventer of this faster hub. “He signed the release when he
bought the hub, but I guess he used it on his Coker anyway.” Harper vowed
to reconsider plans to release his Harper Hub 200. “And I certainly
wouldn’t use three-inch cranks,” added Harper. “That guy had a death wish.”

With conventional unicycles, riders typically go anywhere up to 12 mph,
but large wheels allow for greater speed. Toe clips, however, have never
been part of the unicycle culture. John Foss, president of the Unicycing
Society of America, said, “I guess the toe clips were the last straw. He
had already reached speeds up to 46 mph on his unicycle and was probably
trying to push the record up to 50. I just don’t think that he considered
the RAMifications of what he was trying to do.” Foss excused himself for
the bad pun and continued. “Riders just aren’t satisfied going 30 mph
anymore, and this is the sad result. I’m only amazed it didn’t happen

Brought to you by…
David “Just say no to toe clips” Stone
Co-founder, Unatics of NY
1st Sunday / 3rd Saturday
@ Central Park Bandshell
1:30 start time after 11/1/01

Brilliant! Couldnt have said it better myself.
-David Kaplan

Thats too bad. Hey, do you know who I can call and talk to about the uni. Perhaps the survivors will consider selling it.


What kind of helmet will he have been wearing? I want to avoid buying stock in that company.

Re: News: toe clips = death

Just gotta love the truth in that title change!