new kind of uni trials

My good friend Joe may want to elaborate on his new version of uni trials.
Here’s what you do:

  1. Ride on the sidewalk in NYC
  2. Get a ticket from a cop trying to make quota
  3. Go to trial

In Joe’s case (thankfully) he was prepared to defend himself under NYS
law, where cycling is defined as pedaling a two, three, or four-wheeled
vehicle (or maybe only a two- or three- wheeled one). He told the judge
that he was NOT in fact riding a bike on the sidewalk, mentioned the law,
and got away with an ACD (which is some legal term having to do with the
judge having a drug trip).

Unforch, Joe didn’t have the exact law with him which actually
(accidentally) allows unicycling. If so, he would have been completely
exonerated. Instead, he received this weird warning.

Anyway, since Joe has been quiet (and busy) lately, I thought I’d mention
his new and exciting type of uni trials.

It’s worth noting that he did this while on his muni.

David Stone

So what’s the fun part? Aside from getting to see the judge reverse himself.

Re: new kind of uni trials

this is an old wives tale. they don’t need to fill quotas

Re: Re: new kind of uni trials

Are you referring to London, Ontario cops, or NYC cops? The NYPD has undoubtedly denied again and again that they use quotas, but there seems to be all kinds of data to suggest that they do. Could it be that they are not telling us the truth? :smiley:

Well, my knowledge is of the Ontario Provincial Police, so I can’t speak for NYC

It’s the same kind of people that say ‘they need to fill quotas’ that get mad at a cop for pulling them over because they were speeding, or breaking the law in some way.

Actually, I did mention it - it’s buried in that mother thread “unicycling, the law and thou.”

I could have made the interchange with the judge really interesting:

Sir, I wasn’t riding a bike. I was riding a Myoo-nee.

“A what?”

"A My00-nee. It’s really cool vehicle for riding up and down steps, benches, curbs, cars, and what-not. Just about anything I can think of really. I can really get around with that thing. But don’t worry. It goes really slow and I’m really careful with it. I’ve only lost control of it a few times, and that was way out in the woods. Nobody was around. I’ve shredded my shins a few times with it, but that doesn’t happen so much anymore. " When I ride it in the city, I am a model citizen, treating all passers by with the utmost courtesy and respect.

Anyway, staying away from the eyes of the donut patrol when it’s “that time of the month” does lend an interesting extra twist to the challenge of trials.

In case anyone gets the wrong idea, I have full respect for the cops who do their job and perform critical services. The cops on donut patrol give the good ones a bad name.


This may only apply for Unicyclists in NYC, but as to the question of “quotas,” I did a google seach on “new york city summons quota” and found a web site run by retired NYC cops with the following tidbit. It’s lengthy, and it doesn’t “prove” that quotas exist, but it’s enough proof for me. Enough so that I will be even more careful toward the end of the month. (See “summons quota” below).

Bulletin" : NYPD can not get enough applicants to give a test for police officer.

Do you wonder why?

News item: Port Authority PD. academy graduates 72 new police officers. 67 are former NYPD cops!
News item: Suffolk County PD hires 90 new cops. 70 are former members of the NYPD.

News item: new FDNY class of 150; over half are NYPD.

Ray Kelly, do you realize that you have a problem? Are you clueless? In order to conform to federal truth in advertising laws, perhaps the new NYPD recruitment posters should read, as follows:
- Earn the lowest pay, for the most dangerous police work of any police department in the tri-state area.
- Be subject to petty, picayune disciplinary action, with a trial room that has a near 100% conviction rate.
- Have criminals make dozens of civilian complaints against you, then have the complaints investigated by cop-hating, democratic club hacks.
- Become a “great white defendant” for a publicity seeking, grandstanding district attorney; have your life ruined so the DA can parade you around to curry favor with criminal loving minorities.
- Make a good faith mistake and you and your family can become financially destroyed by paying tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees .
- Be a good, active , honest cop and arrest criminals. Make the city safe for the law abiding public. While doing so, rack up many civilian complaints so when you get involved in a controversial case, the public can read the New York post’s story on how many civilian complaints you have (and make it read like you were guilty of every one of them! )
- Watch you gutless ‘leaders’ cower and kow-tow to political pressure groups every time; it’s easier to sell out their men than try to grow a pair of balls.
- Be part of a thoroughly demoralized army. Remember the motto of the new NYPD: 'don’t get involved!"
- If you become stupid enough to actually “get involved” and respond to a dangerous call, make sure you have another job lined up, real soon. A rich father-in-law would help!
- Your bosses will give you a summons quota and make you give out chicken-shit, marginal tickets to the public. Watch your department’s ‘experts’ wonder why there are so many civilian complaints arising from these encounters.
-. Celebrate diversity!! The guy who burglarized your house last year may have a locker next to you tomorrow.
- Start out with a salary lower than a coffee-jerk’s pay at Starbucks.
- Take a bullet for millions of liberal, unappreciative citizens who hate you
-. Be vilified by phony ministers who command millions of dollars of government poverty money to aid and assist criminals.
-. Go through six months of training, then get so disgusted that you quit and join another police department or the FDNY. Look back and watch your ‘leaders’ scratch their heads searching for reasons for this exodus.
. -. Enjoy the enhanced social life of an NYPD member. You will attend thousands of “going away” parties for all of the young men and women leaving the job in droves every year.
- Watch with pride as your squad sergeant leaves to become a Suffolk county cop or a member of the FDNY Remember, this type of vacancy opens up promotion slots .

Re: new kind of uni trials writes:
>David Stone wrote:
>> *
>> 2. Get a ticket from a cop trying to make quota
>> *
>this is an old wives tale. they don’t need to fill quotas

No one seems to agree on this. I’ll check out (or
whatever). And it could even be that quotas only happen in certain cities.
Keep in mind that Joe’s ticket came on the last day of the month and
happens to be a very frivolous one, so it certainly bolsters the idea that
quotas exist.


Re: new kind of uni trials

On Wed, 12 Mar 2003 15:16:58 -0600, Sofa
<> wrote:

>this is an old wives tale. they don’t need to fill quotas

Maybe not in NYC but in the Netherlands they do. Officially.

Also, I seem to remember having seen this story recently. Was it
posted here, or maybe in Just Conversation? The link to ‘trials’ is
new, though, and hilarious.

Klaas Bil - Newsgroup Addict

"There are 1,929,770,126,028,800 different colour combinations possible on a Rubik’s Cube. "

There was a drive in June 2002 by New York City police officers to remove arrest and summons quotas. The link below from the NYC Policemen’s benevolent association makes it patently clear that quotas exist in NYC or existed up until the time this legislation was considered.

I’ll have to find out what the results of the legislation were, if any.

Google also returned the following. Unfortunately the web site is not responding. Again, nuf proof for me :angry:

"> "> " Next. When a boss tells you to get more summonses or more arrests or you’ll be denied days off or transferred, hand him a copy of this BILL. … - 101k - Cached - Similar pages

Ok. Now I feel better :slight_smile:

This is from an actual bill from the New York state assembly:


                               January 21, 2003                            
   Introduced  by  M. of A. PRETLOW, NOLAN -- read once and referred to the
     Committee on Labor                                                    
   AN ACT to amend the labor law, in  relation  to  discrimination  against employees for failure to meet certain ticket quotas