I’m gonna enter this contest, for sure!
So how would i unicycle then?? 
Tom Miller from The Unicycle Factory can make you a unicycle with a toilet as the seat.
You can get electric Toto-brand toilet seats in the USA. They must just be different models. We have one from another company (HomeTECH). Heated seat (3 temperature settings), electric bidet and wash functions (3 water temperature settings). I originally got it for Jacquie for her birthday, with a big presentation making her a queen. First she got a (Burger King) crown, then a queen’s cape (a beach towel with American flag design), and then she was presented with her new… throne! She loves it. I don’t use the water features.
Unfortunately I have not been saved from wasting time here…
Based on the thread title, I thought this thread was going to be about something philosophical and meaningful. Excuse me while I head on over to the backspace or delete thread.
+1
I prefer to have these on my unicycles. That way i’m not wasting another minute of my day. Cause it will be too much fun, especially the last one. 
Tommy Miller needs to paint his garage already. 
I think I have ridden all three of those goofy cycles.
It’d be cool to have that horsy for a trials saddle. A bit difficult, though.